On the 30th December 2009 I lost the man I loved. He was an America soldier who was based in the uk, working with British soldiers. He was my hero and we were crazily in love. He was killed in action and this destroyed me. I was broken. And only 23 years old. We were planning our wedding...
I went off the rails. Drinking so much and ended up in hospital for 3 weeks. I went back to my mums for 5 months to recover and put the pieces back together best I could.
Fast forward 18 months and I meet someone (another soldier). We hit it off and although I'm reluctant and scared at first, a relationship blossomed. We are now married and 3 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I love my husband dearly, he put me back together and fixed my heart. I've never compared them... Maybe that's how I was able to love again. My American soldier wrote me a letter, in case of his death. That letter helped me to know it was ok to move on when it felt right.
But I feel guilty... I look at my baby and wish Trev was here to see this... I wish he was here to see my baby. I feel guilty that my life goes on and that I love someone else.
There is no one in real life I can say this too without them thinking I don't love my husband... I do! With all my heart but that doesn't mean I can't miss Trev!!
Sorry, this probably doesn't make much sense but there you go...
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Bereavement
My fallen soldier
10 replies
simbaandblue · 23/02/2013 18:35
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