My friend just killed herself

[BoffinMum]

I just found out this evening. Not sure what happened. She was lovely, I had no idea.

[kissmyheathenass]

Oh no. So sorry. What terrible news.

[ch1110]

Oh sweetie bless you. I am absolutely sure there was nothing you could have done.
Hugs
Auntie Claire

[seasalt]

Sorry to hear that, hope you are OK.

[LaVitaBellissima]

So sorry for your loss Boffin

[RandallPinkFloyd]

I'm so sorry boffin you must be so shocked.

[BoffinMum]

I am quite upset. She got rapid, massive depression.

[BoffinMum]

Shit evening. Au pair walked out too, then son cut his leg and blood everywhere. Waiting for plague and pestilence next.

So shocked about friend.

[BoffinMum]

Can't go to funeral.

[Screaminabdabs]

I'm so sorry, Boff - hope you can find as much RL support as you need. Shock and grief are a potent mixture. There's a book called "The Courage to Grieve" which I'd recommend getting hold of when you've moved through the initial shock phase.

[BoffinMum]

Going to put my Paul McKenna sleep app on and try not to think about it.

[Screaminabdabs]

Good idea - hope you get some rest.

[BoffinMum]

Another friend came over until DH got home. Everyone is being nice. DS1 did bedtimes and is doing after school stuff tomorrow.

[Screaminabdabs]

I'm glad you've got people looking after you.

[Screaminabdabs]

The night-time crowd on MN are always good for support, if you need them in the early hours.

[duchesse]

That's awful. What a terrible shock. Look after yourself.

Bad things seem to group like buses. Can you get an emergency au pair?

[RandallPinkFloyd]

Lean on your friends and your family, they love you and will want to be there for you. Do try and get some sleep.

[BoffinMum]

Slept quite well for about 6 hours thanks to McKenna app. People rallying around and I am so glad I have so many terrific friends. Have emailed my friend's son at Uni and offered him unconditional support.

How on earth can a lovely woman fall so far, so fast?????? I was the one with depression, not her! Or maybe I had treatment in time and she didn't ....

[BoffinMum]

Shit, am crying on train, mascara everywhere. Shit shit shit.

[Portofino]

Oh Boffin - how terrible! It must have been a horrible shock! (((hugs)))

[lougle]

Boffin, so sorry.

[nilbyname]

That is so so sad, how horrible for you and for your friends family.

Please lean on people and talk talk talk.

baby wipes are brill at rescuing make-up disasters.

[SanityClause]

Bloody hell, Boffin, that's so hard.

A close friend of mine killed himself when we were in our early 20s. I remember saying to my DM, didn't he know how much we loved him? And she said, that that would make no difference, if he didn't love himself enough.

It somehow makes it harder and easier at the same time to accept there was nothing you could do.

Here's some and a for you.

[BoffinMum]

Will go into Boots at Kings X and get wipes when I get there. Good tip that. Love MN for that sort of thing.

I feel disorientated, not guilty. But I wish mental health treatment was a higher priority. I get fantastic care and consequently I've become very resilient. But that's because my friend is my GP. It shouldn't matter who is looking after you, and there should be faster acting, less toxic drugs.

[BoffinMum]

Second friend to do this, btw. Feels like ruddy suicide epidemic. Life expectancy in my friendship group plummeting. Senseless waste.

[kissmyheathenass]

Crikey, I remember looking at a holiday snap of a group of friends - 2 had died in the 2 years since the picture was taken (cancer and hit by a lorry). It was a horrid moment wondering who would be next.

Mental health treatment is a scandal. I got help because I went private (lucky husband number 1 could foot the bills). NHS treatment times are woefully inadegquate for something that can escalate so quickly.

I hope your friends ds is surrounded by support.