Our dear friends lost their beautiful 15 year old daughter to suicide 17 days ago. So far in the haze of shock and grief, dealing with endless decisions and organising the farewell time has passed. Now their immediate family have returned home (not in the UK) and all the activity that surrounds the first few weeks has quietened down. So what do we do now to support them?
As my friend has just expressed to me "the enormity of losing our child is just dawning on us now. The means by which she died just adds to the complexity of grief. It's going to take a long time and I don't really think I appreciate that yet...it's still such a shock, still almost unbelievable despite going through all the ceremonial processes."
There are a core group of about 12 of us who have been supporting them and plan on continuing to do so (we met up together Saturday night to discuss how we should do this) but I guess I would just like to get some information from people who have either lost someone close (especially a younger child) through suicide or have supported people through this.
I am the closest to the family in terms of being involved - from our shared history together (our girls were great friends and similar in age) and from being intricately involved in what has happened (being there when they first found out / privy to their daughter's farewell letters and blogs) and have organised all the farewell things and so the group are looking to me for guidance. Except this is unchartered territory for me...
I did lose my father unexpectedly when I was 22 and as the eldest child was very involved in the collective grief of our family and our bereavement process and my close friend lost her fiancé to suicide about 6 years ago where once again I was with her in the immediate time after but these are widely different situations to what they are going through...
I appreciate that they will most likely need counselling but I am not sure how to help them to find what is right in this situation. I also know that they need people to be there and listen but are there other things that really make the difference? Please share and advise...
There is so little that we can do but we so want to comfort them on the path ahead.
Thank you.
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Bereavement
How do you support parents when they have lost their child to suicide?
4 replies
zazas · 21/01/2013 14:37
OP posts:
Maryz ·
21/01/2013 16:22
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everlong ·
21/01/2013 16:48
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