My brave sister

[ktandpete]

Hello,

My sister had to go through many hours of labour to deliver her little girl who had died in her womb (16 weeks) over the weekend.

I want to make sure that I am as supportive as possible to her and her BF but am struggling to know what to do/say other than how are you? and talking about the things she wants to talk about

Also, I'd like to give her a gift that will comfort her and BF but she is moving house so nothing she can't move with her (like a tree/plant etc). Any thoughtful ideas??

Your help would be appreciated xxx

[golds]

How awful for her, I think what you are doing is right, just let her know you are there for her.

When I lost my little one, earlier on, so didn't have to go through what your sister has. I bought a lovely candle in a pretty glass vase to light on the edd day, I didn't have the courage to actually light it, but there it sits in our lounge and maybe I will light it on the day I lost it. HTH

[katzg]

what about paying for training a third world midwife in her name.

[ktandpete]

Thanks for your ideas. I am wondering if, whilst the midwife idea is very thoughtful, her emotions might be too raw to appreciate such a selfless gift? What do you think? I have been fortunate enough to have had two healthy babies and not experienced anything like this, so I am any very grateful for your advice x

[PeachyClair]

Can you not get a tree in a planter? Nice gift for moving house anyhow I would have thought.... maybe a bay or a standard rose?

[ktandpete]

Thank you for your ideas, I think I am going to get her a healing crystal, either in a bracelet or on it's own. Any other ideas about how to make this time easier for her will be gratefully received :) xxxxx

[Marina]

How about a box, a pretty one to keep mementoes of her dd in? That's always something that is needed but you don't have the energy to shop for. Very sorry to hear this ktandpete - there are many people on Mn who have experienced the particular sadness and ordeal of a second trimester stillbirth, sending your sister love and supportive vibes XXX.
My sister did something really fab for me. She did a beach sculpture of Tom's name and then photographed it whole and then being washed gradually away by the rising tide (she is v. artistic). We didn't want a grave or anything "permanent" for Tom - we have a tree now - so this memorial that came and went was so thoughtful and right for us.