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Bereavement

Is she just putting on a brave face?

11 replies

spursmum · 12/04/2006 12:34

I need some advice/opinions about my best friend.
She found out today that she has miscarried at weeks. This was suspected last weekend as she was rushed to hospital with heavy bleeding and pain. She had to wait till today for a more detailed scan and was told that she had definately lost the baby.
My worry is that when she told me today I did the usual, Sorrys, anything I can do etc and she said that she was alright as she had already accepted the loss.
Could she already be at peace with the loss or like I think could she be just putting a brave face on it all?

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SparklyGothKat · 12/04/2006 12:39

Yes its possible, I accepted my miscaariage within a few days, it was hard when it came to the due date tho.

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spursmum · 12/04/2006 12:42

Hey!! Hows life? Got a move date yet?
Maybe she is dealing well, I'll find out later when we have a chat on the phone!
If I can get things sorted, we will be on holiday with all my family when the dute ddate comes around. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. This is my family after all!!

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SparklyGothKat · 12/04/2006 12:44

Hiya, no moving date yet. The due date will be hard for her. Even though I was pregnant again with dd1 by then I still was weepy and had to be sent home from work.

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madmarchhare · 12/04/2006 12:46

Yes, one of my close friends was OK after a couple of days of finding out for certain. She has always spoken about it without anguish.

This is over 18 months ago now, in fact she had a baby 7 weeks ago and mentioned the m/c then, again, without any issues. So yes, it is possible. I hope your friends positivity continues.

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spursmum · 12/04/2006 13:13

Well it's nice to know that she can be positive and it's just me being negative.
I think I'll just take my cue from her mood that day and do what I can for her.
Thanks for the advice ladies!

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bundle · 12/04/2006 13:14

how many weeks spursmum? a friend of mine had an early m/c and she was honestly fine about it, said she'd not felt properly pg anyway. she now has 3 children

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golds · 12/04/2006 13:36

Whilst I lost mine in hospital almost a year ago, I was absolutely fine and kept saying it was for the best and these things happen, but days later it hit me. I'm particularly sad today, as its my birthday today and this time last year I told the kids about the baby at my special birthday meal.

So, what I am saying is, obviously some people will be fine, but others may appear it and then need support. I hope shes OK

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spursmum · 12/04/2006 13:36

Bundle-she was about 7/8 weeks and she says that she was already putting on weight.

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cece · 13/04/2006 19:36

She had the scare so probably did her crying then. I had some warning of my mc and so sort of did my grieving before it was confirmed iyswim.

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swedishmum · 19/04/2006 18:25

Many years ago I'd had bleeding so came to terms with my m/c at about 7 weeks. The time it hit me was in later pregnancies - that's when I needed support as I was sure it would happen again.

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SenoraPostrophe · 19/04/2006 18:33

I am superstitious and never really feel fully up the duff till 12 weeks. unless I'd had probs conceiving i don't think i'd be that upset about an m/c at 7 or 8 weeks either. and I definately wouldn't be upset on the due date. (as it goes sometimes that makes me feel a freak but there you go. it takes all sorts)

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