I have read another thread tonight about op dad dying and I didn't want to hijack their thread, but it brought back so many memories of when my dm died and the guilt I felt then and occassionally still suffer from.
We knew my mum had only a few months but the night before there was no indication it was imminent. I had been to see them as I did every night (live next door) and eveything was the same as usual. The next day my husband arrived at the school where I work to tell me I needed to go home, my df had phoned dh first so he could tell me not a colloeague. I arrived at my parents house to find df distraught he had not been able to wake dm, GP had already been and said she was in a deep sleep not unlike a coma and had very little time.
I went to see her and she appeared to be in a deep sleep, df went to make cup of tea and told me GP said to talk to her because she will be able to hear. I spent some time holding her hand, telling her how much I loved her, when I noticed a slight change in her breathing it seemed more drawn out and I told her that I knew she wanted to go and it was ok. In less than a minute she passed. I have always been so grateful that she waited for me and I truly believe that she did, but sometimes I feel so guilty for telling her to go because I didn't want her to leave us.
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Bereavement
memories and guilt of my mum
10 replies
birthdaypanic · 08/12/2012 00:07
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