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Bereavement

Things you wish you said or done

7 replies

ILoveSparklers · 24/11/2012 19:58

My Dad isn't innthe best health and I love him dearly. Please remind me of the things I should be taking time to do... I think I am but I know I will regret so much when he's gone. I hope it's okay to post here... Sorry if not.

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xmasevebundle · 24/11/2012 20:03

Sorry to hear about your dad OP, i would spend every second you have with him. Doing stuff when you was younger and as an adult.

My nan died when i was young(13), i use to go over and colour in with her. Walk to the chip shop for us and enjoyed her company. Memories i will keep forever, i am even bringing a photo of her when i have my first DC in 3 weeks. I think she will be present either way

xx

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babbas · 25/11/2012 00:16

Speak to him about his childhood and earli memories. Write them
Down. Tell him you love him and that he is the best dad ever.

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Beachcombergirl · 25/11/2012 00:24

When my Dad was dying, i made sure i told him i loved him. I Let him know what a great job he did being my Dad. I told him how grateful I was for giving me such a wonderful childhood and teaching me how to live a good life. Just be there as much as possible. Stick together with your family and be strong. Xx

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ILoveSparklers · 25/11/2012 20:45

Thank you for replying. We have been speaking more about his childhood. I'm quite practical and so is he so we generally show affection by helping each other out rather than hugging and telling each other we love them. I feel like there's loads I want to say but I just can't being myself to say it.... Writing a letter would be weird wouldn't it? Do you think it would scare him that I think he is not going to be around that much longer. I really want to tell him how amazing he is but not sure how...

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 26/11/2012 11:14

My DH had a difficult relationship with his dad and when his dad was dying DH wrote him a letter - his dad was so grateful for the letter and DH is glad he wrote it.

When my mum was dying I just made sure I told her how much I loved her, what a brilliant mum she was and that if I was half a good a mum to my DS as she was to me then I would be doing well.

Just be there for him, that is all you can do.

sending love and strength for the time ahead xx

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Goldenjubilee10 · 26/11/2012 19:14

If you feel you need to say these things then find a time or write a letter but just being there for him or spending time with him will tell him more than words.

I lost my Mum in June. She had been unwell for a few months but her death was very unexpected. We were not great ones for words or hugs but we each knew how the other felt. I had spent more time with her in her last few months, mostly helping with practical things ie shopping, cleaning etc and have few regrets. I do wish I had taken my older children to see her more, but felt all of us made her wee house seem crowded and I often just took my youngest thinking the older ones could visit once she was better. Had I known I would have done this differently but in reality it doesn't matter.

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ILoveSparklers · 26/11/2012 20:51

Thank you. Bits his birthday next week. I think I will write him a letter... Otherwise it will never get said and he deserves to hear it.

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