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Behaviour/development

Distinguishing between 'normal' boisterous three year old behaviour and 'hyperactivity'

32 replies

popsycal · 12/08/2005 20:23

Ds1 was three last week and he is a whirlwind. He is bright, intelligent and excellent fun.

But he never shuts up from the moment he storms into our roon at 5:45 and jumps on his 5 month old brother until he goes to sleep at 8pm singing his zillionth rendition of 'Rocking Robin; or 'Blame it on the boogie'

He storms around, shouting and chatting endlessly, booming and banging and whooshing. He plays his air guitar. He whooshes round on a wooden spoon like Little Cook Small. He answers back, deliberately does the opposite of what you ask him to do.

To me, he is just DS1 and makes me chuckle (and tear my hair out). But over the last few months, several different people have commented on him and have said how hyperactive he is and doesnt he sit still or shut up etc etc etc.

My gut reaction is that we just have a boisterous 3 year old who find life exciting all the time.........but DH wants me to ask 'those Mumsnutters'

What do you think.....

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Jimjams · 12/08/2005 20:27

if he's not destructive or a danger to himself I'd say normal

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FairyMum · 12/08/2005 20:27

Have the people who have commented got children of their own? I think any 3 year-old can seem hyperactive if you haven't been through it yourself. Just sounds like he has lots of energy to me. I am no expert, but doesn't hyperactive children often display negative or disruptive behaviour?

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popsycal · 12/08/2005 20:28

He has been destructive......but I wrote it off as baby shock a few months after ds2's arrival....that side of things has calmed down now....

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jayzmummy · 12/08/2005 20:30

He sounds like any other three year old boy to me.

You could have a look at his diet and see if anything triggers the more hyper ativity. Does he sit still and concentate for any length of time...not hours on end...I mean would he sit still and listen to you whilst you read a story?

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Twiglett · 12/08/2005 20:31

I think

yes I'm almost certain



yes my diagnosis is


he's 3




if his behaviour is fine by you .;. then he's fine .. don't make worries for yourselves out of thin air

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popsycal · 12/08/2005 20:43

I think he is fine if exhausting.
Yes he will sit and listen to stories, he will sit and thread pasta on a piece of wool, he will play with his viking playmobil (even if they are booming each other), he will watch a dvd and will sit and watch a film in the cinema
he is fine isnt he!

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gingernut · 12/08/2005 20:46

Yep, at least I hope so because he sounds just like my ds1

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henshake · 12/08/2005 20:46

Popsycal - At 6 am each morning I have a daughter that sallies forth into our bedroom, declares to our bedroom 'Mummy I need a poo' and from there on in doesn't shut up for the rest of the day.

She may not whirl around as much as it sounds like your son does but I have all sorts of animals roaming around my house, never mind her imaginary friends.

Sounds like you've got a 3 yr old boy.

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popsycal · 12/08/2005 20:47

God help me when he starts nursery as all the booming and banging will get worse wontit

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henshake · 12/08/2005 20:48

Sit and watch a film in a cinema, how brave, I don't think DD would, but then I haven't tried.

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Jimjams · 12/08/2005 21:34

so what does he do that isn't fine? honestly you know if you are cohabiting with ADHD because usually you have no sleep and everything not locked away is destroyed.

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spidermama · 12/08/2005 21:38

Mine's 3.5 and sounds very very similar. Actually I breathed a sigh of relief reading your post. Hard work isn't it. I'm also aware that in a year he'll be more like the surly schoolboy his 5 year old brother is so am trying to treasure this time. Easier said than done I know.

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popsycal · 12/08/2005 21:44

I know he is fine.....it is just others (including DH) which have led me to think maybe he is not........

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MrsPlaygirl · 13/08/2005 01:00

Hi there popsycal I have this too with my dd2 and she screamed when she was born and has not given up since she is mad from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed a total handful and people have said I need to get her seen as she has a problem... I went to the doctors and a specialist and both have said she is fine and no major probs at all and just some kids are like this at their age and not too worry

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harpsichordcarrier · 13/08/2005 07:03

Oh blimey, hyperactive diagnosis... sounds like complete nonsense to me. (he answers back?? gah! put him on Ritalin. Immediately!)
I have five nephews, and this behaviour sounds completely normal (except perhaps the preference for Jackson 5 songs).
Would he like to come round and play with my 2.2 year old daughter, sounds like she would absolutely adore him.

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RosiePosie · 13/08/2005 07:20

He sounds normal to me. That's what 3 year old boys are like to varying degrees. Some are "busier" than others, that's all. The quiet dull ones are going to grow up to be quiet dull men I would imagine. If it's any help, mine is now 4.5 and has calmed down a litle - atleast he understands now that it's not okay to run into the road or in the opposite direction of mummy, and that it's not okay to jump on his sister's head - he's still very active, mischevious and even more full of questions now than he was a year ago.

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mumtosomeone · 13/08/2005 07:50

my gut reaction...normal 3 year old. Other people have little aliens if they sit quietly!!!
Does he have a bit of quiet time? when he is watching little cook fly maybe!
Give me a child with spirit everytime not one that sits in a corner yesing and noing in all the right places!!! hey and he is clever he knows opposites!!

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popsycal · 29/08/2005 17:19

Just reviving this thread after an aftenoon of him screaming, shouting, flinging stuff around and at ds2......
I am feeling a bit low at the moment so am probably exagerating.

He goes to nursery school in a month and will be the youngest there (August birthday) and I guess I am just a bit worried...

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Tommy · 29/08/2005 17:38

sounds like my 3y7m DS!
He goes to nursery school and is as quiet as a mouse there but whenever he's with me he doesn't stop talking.
They are hard work and can be challenging at this age - that's why nusery school was invented - leave them with people who are qualified and experienced in such matters!

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fqueenzebra · 29/08/2005 18:01

i think if he can sit very nicely still some of the time, then he's not adhd. If he can concentrate & learn things at the normal rate for his peer group, he's not add, either.

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Nightynight · 29/08/2005 18:16

hi popsycal,

some questions to ask yourself are, are you completely exhausted at the end of each day just from keeping up with him? Is he slower than other children to learn anything that involved coordination? Does he have more tantrums than other children (frustration)? Is he excessively thirsty?

if not, then he's just a 3 year old! my ds's usually did the opposite of what I told them to at this age, um, and still do sometimes.

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Jimjams · 29/08/2005 20:02

the main difference between adhd and normal boisterous behaviour is the impulsiveness. Children with ADHD do really, stupid destructive things without knowing why they are doing it, without even realising they are. So they'll break things, smash things, leap out of windows, shred books, draw on walls, take things, hit, etc etc. If he's energetic but gnerally in control and behaves with reason (eg hits because he's cross rather than just hits) then I'd say he's not ADHD.

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nell12 · 29/08/2005 20:04

Does he concentrate on stuff that HE wants to do for periods of longer than 3 minutes? (No. of minutes = age) can he follow more than one instruction? eg brush your hair and get your shoes. When told to sit quietly (you may want to ask him to make as much noise and movement as poss IYSWIM ) can he for short times?
If yes to the above, then he is probably not hyper-active

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popsycal · 17/08/2006 13:42

Just searched for this thread again - and it is a year since I wrote it....

he was 4 2 weeks ago and he is bouncing off the walls.

I keep a close eye on his diet - sensitive to orange stuff I think.

But the last few days he has just been mad!

Nothing seems to make any difference - routine, exercise, sleep etc etc

Anyone got any strategies for dealing with 'exuberant' boys!?

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syrup · 17/08/2006 20:37

I have 2 and my secret............ Pinot grigio!

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