Mumsnet Discussions - dd 2.3 had me in tears today.

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dd 2.3 had me in tears today.

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By Tue 03-Nov-09 21:32:37 Add message | Report | Contact poster

the day started badly with me offering cereal or toast, being ignored, so giving her cereal, then she wanted toast hmm

telling her to hurry and eat so we could go out, she was taking her time.
trying to get her dressed she kept running off and ended up shutting her in the bedroom with me and dressing her while she cried.
just as we are going out she wants a poo, so she sits there doing nothing and smiling but when i tried to get her off the toilet she says poo and i dont want her to poo herself so she gets to sit there and make us late. in the end i shouted at her to poo or get off the toilet and she got off but was crying again. i feel like she ignores me till i shout then she does as asked but while crying which is not how i want us to communicate sad

after class, dinner and a sleep i had to wake her up as she had 2 hours and i didnt want bedtime ruined. she said she didnt like me, wanted daddy, and when i said daddy is still at work she said mommy work and daddy stay home sad

the final straw was daddy coming home only to say he had to go back to work and dd clinging to him and when i took her she said she didnt like mommy and she is daddys baby.
i ended up crying, i felt like walking out and leaving them to it. sad

as i put her to bed tonight she did the toilet trick again and i ended up shuting her in the bathroom till she admitted she didnt want a poo so even the end of the day is awful.
i do everything for her and she ignores me, shouts in my face, says she doesnt like me and only ever wants daddy.
what am i doing wrong?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 12-Nov-09 13:09:12

Glad things are going ok. I wanted to say re GPs and the toys, I would still put some away/give some away, and explain that as you asked them not to buy more, and DD clearly has enough, and the room is too full, you've put some away until she's ready to play with them again. You can make sure that one thing they've given her is always out, but otherwise if you've asked them to stop and they won't, it's their problem and not yours.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 10-Nov-09 21:15:12

she is still awake, keeps coughing and choking and her chest sounds terrible, almost wheezy.
hows your dd?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 10-Nov-09 20:20:14

aww, hows the little lamb now? horrible when there ill.
dh has got that atm.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 10-Nov-09 14:42:09

pouring, yuck.
my mom has been round and dd has just gone to sleep, she has a chesty cough and cold sad

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 10-Nov-09 10:44:13

sounds like your getting there loveto smile

whats it like there today? its raining here

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 15:14:32

i am ignoring bad behaviour, leaving her on the toilet to get on with it so she gets less attention for it and if she doesnt come when i call her i count to 3 hen pick her up and take her where i want her. so far so good.
last night we went to a bonfire and she was good as gold, although when a few people talked to her she replied with "i want a poopoo" blush

but we ignored it.
today we have been to remeberance service and again she tried shouting "i want a poopoo" but we said she would be taken home if she didnt stop and she stopped.
she sat at the tabel for dinner, no fuss and ate everything smile

im giving less choices but letting her help loads, she puts teabags in cups, spreads sandwiches and puts the meat/cheese on, pours her milk and she loves helping.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 15:04:14

ilovetochat, sending a hug to you as I know how hard it can be. Especially the Daddy thing, its so hard when all you want to do is give them a cuddle and you are being rejected in favour of Daddy. My DD does this too but a friend said to me that the reason they act out with us is because they feel secure in their relationship and know that even if they push you away you wont actually go away so basically you have done a really good job building your relationship with your DD.

Things I have found which have worked are:
When asking DD to do something, get down to her level close to her face but not in her face IYKWIM and ask her in a firm voice to do it, seems to work for the moment at least, not always straight away but she definite doesn't ignore me.

For her delaying tactics could you try and build these things into your schedule, ie if you need to be out of the house for 9.30, in your mind aim for 9.10 knowing that she is going to ask for the toilet etc so that it just becomes part of your routine and your own expectations and therefore hopefully you wont find it so stressful

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 07-Nov-09 20:21:29

DS1 wqas very like this when he was 2.4 and DS2 was just 4 months. Don't think it was in reaction to DS2 - just his age - but it was dreadful - reading your post brings it all back.

Everything was a battle and whenever we tried to leave the house he'd refuse to go - live in 2nd floor flat and he could see how the stairwell was a challenge for me so played on it. There were usually about 4-5 major tantrums a day. Friends used to have to come round to collect us before toddler groups etc cos it was so difficult to get him out.

I instigated the naughty corner, ignoring and lots of counting to ten and actually following through on the threats tactics(not violent obvioulsy - just no pudding stuff). Not an enjoyable phase but if it's any consolation, since he's hit 3, he has been a joy, so sweet and co-operative. If he's procrastinating I now only need to say 'I'm going to count to ten' and he's usually responding by the time I get to '3'.

It's just an age thing and it will pass just hang in there.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 07-Nov-09 13:41:03

hi loveto, hows it going today? smile

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 06-Nov-09 21:21:31

i dont know, i think its because i spend so much time with her that i find it hard sometimes, if i was at work id miss her and have less hours to fill.
i am trying to ignore unless its dangerous.

carrie, if the hv said she is ok i wouldnt worry, today she said all they look for in speech is starting to put 2 words together, dd was happy with the pink bookstart set grin

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dd 2.3 had me in tears today.