My 8 yr-old DD is highly sensitive (i must read that book - have been meaning to for at least a couple of years!) and cannot cope with even mild teasing, or indeed with being told off - again, even mildly. she either collapses into a miserable heap or flies into a raging tantrum
...however is slowly improving with age, things were an awful lot more difficult a couple of years back. thanks for the suggestion!

CarGirl Another one to add to my list. Thanks

Have you all read "the unwritten rules of friendship" it is often recommended for children who struggle with social clues.

Mezley That has occurred to me about my son too.

He was very tantrummy as a toddler, has had some problems understanding sarcastic-type humour, is not "cool" ie not able to hide his feelings very well, is very sensitive to noise such as balloons and fireworks, is fussy eater (much better now but almost food-phobic when younger).

All these things are improving

Wow, you guys have given me lots of really good and useful PRACTICAL ideas to try out. I like the role play idea, and the GOAL. It is interesting to hear you talk about being highly sensitive yourselves as children, clearly traits we have passed on to our children. I personally feel that my ds is on the very edge of the Autistic spectrum - nothing you could classify, but high functioning (very intelligent in some areas particularly maths, music, reading, art) but yet he falls down in lots of social situations. Thanks for all your suggestions.

With regards to girls joining cub packs, my friend's daughter is the only girl in a cub pack. She is accepted and enjoys the challenges far more than she did in Brownies which was too girly for her tomboy nature.

No, camp is not really a traditional thing here.

My DS1 went away fro the first time on his own last year (age 8) with Cubs, just for a couple of nights. He did not bat an eyelid about going,because he loves cubs so much, but I cried after the coach left.

Also, at my sons' school all the children go on a week-long trip to an outdoor centre when they are in year 5 (age 9/10).

Hi there I work as a Life Coach for children and with your child I would start off by talking about what is happening and what he wants to happen. Get him to imagine the GOAL i.e he may imagine himself walking thorugh the playground and them being friendly to the boys - how does he get from where he is to his GOAL. Does that make sense?

Thanks Jamie that's very useful.
I'll have a look. I know camp helped me tremendously as a child, I'm french and I went to camp every year from the age of 9. Each time for about 3/4 weeks in the summer: the best times of my childhood/adolescence!
I thank my dad for insisting on me going now, although at the time I was positive I didn't want to go and was quite annoyed with him because of it.
My confidence grew tremendously, I discovered I had plenty of hidden talents (we did anything from horseriding, hiking, cycling, canoing, archery, wild camping, cooking for our friends, singing, dancing, acting, making things... you name it we did it.). It was AMAZING!!!!
I don't think they are so hot about camps in this country are they? come to think of it, I would find it really hard to separate from any of my kids for 4 weeks, especially when they are so young. Also I don't think I would have the heart to force DD, my dad probably felt really bad when he forced me, being highly sensitive himself, so it must have taken a lot of courage.
In fact I will ask him about it next time I see him, it might be quite enlightening!!

Thanks for the book recommendation toffeeapple - yes, Beavers are open to girls age 6-8, and I believe the Brownies still exist as well. The no. of girls in the scout movement varies from troupe to troupe, but I gather it suits some girls better to be in a mixed group rather than only girls. There's a Scout webpage.

I do agree with you about supporting your DCs, and of course toffeeapple, and spend a lot of time helping DS understand other peoples motivations etc.

Hi, I'm relieved my DD is not the only one like that. She's only 5 and very grown up for her age, but highly sensitive (I've read the "highly sensitive child" and it's my daughter all over.).
Recently she's had a problem with a boy from her class, and she worried about it FOR THE WHOLE of the half term holiday. When I say problem, it really sounded like a minor problem, but obviously, to her it was awful, as she had been slightly teased by him (twice).
Anyway, to cut a long story short, after reading "the higly sensitive child" which gives you loads of practical tips, I practised role play with her and pretended to be that boy (or someone else) saying nasty stuff to her (well, I didn't manage to be that nasty, after all she's my daughter!!) and taught her "not to react". All in a playfull, light hearted way.
She did an amazing job, although she's not so good when it's not pretend, but apparently, that boy tried to tease her again and she ignored him.
She then told me that the teacher told her "well done for ignoring him darling!!" so she was really pleased with that.
I was highly sensitive as a child, in fact i am a HSP (highly sensitive person), and I just can't let DD cope on her own, I think they need to know we're there for them, personally I could have done with a bit more support from my parents, because kids are amazing observers, but very poor interpreters, so it's our job to explain things to them (ie: she didn't mean it like that, what she meant was...).
I guess for you guys it might be a bit different as yours are older, but with a 5 year old you constantly have to explain things.
In fact it's sapping my energy.
From Inthesticks it sounds like I've got another 8 years of it... or longer.........
God help us!!!!
By the way, if you found that cubs was good for your boys, any ideas for a girl? Or can girls go as well?