Do your dc's friends come to your house and wreck the place??!!

[ipanemabunny]

Over half of ds's (6 years old) friends come for playdates and break/wreck something - I've always assumed that's just boys for you but it's odd to me because ds is boisterous but never an intentional wrecker.
One of ds's friends has to do something devious every visit. One time he hid the key to a cupboard behind the loo (thanks mate!) Another time he poured blue play slime (it had been stored out of the way!) onto ds's bedroom carpet and hid it under loads of other toys, when we tidied up at bedtime it had soaked into the carpet and ruined it.
I've never mentioned it to the mother, she smiles proudly about this kind of behaviour generally as if it's all a sign of how intelligent he is rather than how much of a little b !

[GooseyLoosey]

I don't think this is normal - accidents happen, but this sounds like it might be deliberate (although its hard to be sure from just 2 things).

If you think that they are not accidents and the mother won't say anything then I think you have 2 options: 1. don't let child come round for playdates; or 2. explain to the child in a nice way at the beginning of the playdate what the house rules are and that breakages erc. are not acceptable.

[charliecat]

Yep. Hate it. Dont invite other kids round for that reason, destructive little shits they are.

[Tortington]

kids come here and make a mess - kids tidy up mess - mum can wait " would you like a coffee?" uncomfortable and awkward in my living room. whilst her son takes sweet time in tidying up the destruction.

always got friends to tidy up before they leave.


if a child deliberatly broke or hid something i would phone the parent. ask them nicely to have a word.

never have more than two boys together.

[chopchopbusybusy]

I don't think it's just boys tbh. DDs have had friends over the years who have been like this. I'm not very tolerant so two strikes and they are not invited again.

[ipanemabunny]

I'm so interested to read these posts. My dh is similar, quite hardcore about the worst offender and calls him a "knowing little s**t!".
But another boy is really a good friend but he has two other brothers and they are just smash it up types, It's usually only ds's toys that get broken but last week it was his beloved disco ball. I've always just assumed that it's part of having playdates.... I think I have to adjust my expectations!

[Miaou]

Dd2 had a "friend" like this (a girl). She was devious in the same way as the boy you mentioned in the OP. She broke a baby's bottle belonging to dd2 (it took her 10 minutes to break it too - unfortunately neither dd2 or I realised what she was doing at the time ). She also found dd2's sticker stash and stuck them all onto a sheet of paper, despite dd being in tears asking her to stop . She was not invited round again. I found out from another parent that she would make this girl empty her pockets before she left their house as she would often take anything she took a fancy to

So no, not just boys, though this child was a particularly nasty piece of work!

[DominiConnor]

We've just gone with the flow, and written everything off below the one metre line.
Getting angry about it doesn't affect the outcome, but giving up is less stressful.

[ipanemabunny]

That sounds like this particular lad, really unpleasant! I find it so odd because my ds is so unscheming, he is just so much more innocent I think and if he's even thinking something remotely naughty it's plastered all over his face like a hoarding!
But as he's an only child I tend to over compensate on playdates maybe!

[ipanemabunny]

I like that metreline idea! there is a lot of sense in that!

[ScottishThistle]

Invite him for a playdate & take them to the park!

[kimiTheEasterBunny]

I hate it, play dates are my idea of hell. Although DS1 is now 10 so its not too bad, DS2s friends are a little more boisterous though