Not sure where to post this

[saltire]

I wasn't sure where to put this. Do you think some children are naturally outgoing and well, bossy for want of a btter word, or do you think their parents instill it in them?
I'm asking because I am in the hall on the PC. DS2 has his friend in playing. The friend is 6, so a year younger. So far I have heard him shouting (because he doesn't speak, he shouts)
"If I can't be Luke Skywalker then I'm going home"
"I want you to be John cena, I'm being (_ fill in blank space). He always wins in fights with John Cena"
"I want to go out and play in the park and we can take your toy star wars figures".
DS2 said no to this and was told
"OH well I'm off then".

So I went up stairs and told him to go then, if he wasn't going to play nicely then he wasn't playing at all. He is always wanting to come in our house, they always have to play his games, he goes into major strops if DS2 is playing with other friends. What worries me thoiugh is that DS2 gives into him. He lets this child get his own way all the time and I worry that he's not going to be able to stand up for himself when he gets older. He did the other day, this child came to the door and asked for DS2. I said he was playing at he park with the twins. Next thing i knew this boys mum was at the door complaining. Turns out her son had gone to DS2 and the twins in the park and told them he wanted to play Star Wars with them. They were playing something else and said no, but that he could join them. DS2 had also told him
"My mum says you can't get your own way all the time and you can play with us if you want but it'll need to be our game, not yours". Cue much crying from this child and his mum at my door. So now DS2 is back to letting this child get his won way, and like I said I'm a bit worried about how he will deal with things when he is older and also how this child is in the playground with DS2, as DS2 has often said that this boy ignores him until DS2 does what he wants. he is a very loud child, i don't think he can help it.
Do we make our children outgoing and confident and bossy and whatever? Do I need to start on this with DS2? Sorry if this is long and rambling, it's been bothering me for a while now

[adath]

I think some children are outgoing by nature I know dd certainly is that part of her personality showed very early onbut this little boy is being very manipulative not just bossy.
He is using emotional blackmail
to get his own way and it makes me wonder how he is disciplined actually.
I wonder if his parents are a bit I am not talking to you until you are behaving as I have said as this is exactly what he is doing to your ds2. The loudness could be a way of getting attention it may be the way he gets it at home shout the loudest and all that.
When you explained why his mother was at your door I was a bit she came over because your ds2 had stuck for himself against her manipulative little so and so. She should have been told without any doubt about what has been going on and that it must be dealt with.
Your ds will be fine in the long run as long as he has you telling him that it is not ok to be treated like this even if right now he feels he has to go along with it, it just shows what a lovely boy he is but he will start sticking up for himself there is only so much any of us can take.

[suejonez]

my DS is definitely outgoing at 15 months with a temper when he doesn;t get his own way and he could certainly grow up to be bossy. I think they are born with a degree oof their personality but its up to parents to bring out the best of it ie outgoing does not necessarily equal bossy, introverted does not mean doormat.

[saintmaybe]

well, it's been a struggle, but I'm more and more of the opinion as time goes by that it's better to leave them to it as much as possible. They do just come with different personalities and the best thing you can do is give them the tools to work it out for themselves. Playing is childrens work and practice, and how they learn what it feels like to be kind, or mean, or put upon or to stand their ground, and every time you do it for them you deprive them of the opportunity to learn how to do it themselves. It's hard, especially when it touches a nerve or reminds you of your own experiences, but I really think it's (usually) best. Your ds will decide when he's had enough and if you've always supported him in his decisions about who he plays with and how he'll let you know if he needs your help.

[MejustMe]

hiya
on the shouting issue a lot of people assumed i shouted at my ds as for a long time he also shouted. I kept telling people i didn't yet nobody would listen. I also kept taking him to the doctors about his hearing nothing was done as i was told he heard fine......he is now 8 1/2 and after yet more insistance it has been discovered that due to perforated ear drums when he was 4 he is deaf in one ear.

Just wondered does this boy have a hearing problem even if it is undiscovered??