WHY ARE THEY LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT?????????

[MejustMe]

I am sitting here gently seething with steam erupting from every orifice of mine.
I posted on here a few weeks ago regarding ds being bullied at school. and how school were not listening to me. I had to see the learning mentor regarding him and i then told her about the bullying she said we will deal with it.
The school council (aged 5-11) are the ones dealing with this issue. it is bloody ridiculous. Then wednesday I recieve a letter from the school regarding an incident in which my DS (8) apparently made sexual gestures to a teacher, i spoke to ds at length and he assures me he did not do anything. The child who told the teacher he had done it is renowned for lying and also bullying ds yet ds still got in a lot of trouble. I wrote back to the school stating these issues and I have now recieved a letter back telling me they want to see me with his class teacher, litracy teacher and head teacher on monday 26th feb, (day they go back to school).
The head states in the letter that to make progress with his issues of behaviour and relationships they need to work with me. I ASKED THEM TO DEAL WITH THE BULLYING OVER A YEAR AGO!!!!!!!!!!!! He also states that they clearly have not been able to communicate effectively with me about their concerns...WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T THEY WRITTEN BEFORE??????
He hopes this meeting with those working with DS will offer me a rounded picture of his ability, progress and the things inhibiting his academic and personal progress.
Oh and he will continue to log and communicate with me his issues of concern in advance of this date.....They finished school today ffs so what is he going to tell me next?

Ds, today was the victim of another form of bullying, when the main class bully stole a mobile from another child and planted it in Ds's book bag. Thing is a member of staff and other class pupils saw the boy put it there. Yet nobody told me it had happened, (my mum did because she works there).

I AM SO ANGRY, WHY ARE THEY QUICK TO TELL ME HIS FAULTS BUT WHEN SOMETHING IS DONE TO HIM NOBODY TELLS ME.
In the last 5 weeks he has come home with his coat ripped, lip split open, trousers ripped, shoes cut and a few other things. BUT nobody told me this was a form of bullying and when i alerted the school they did nothing until the other pupils witnessed it.

I explained to the learning mentor, yes he is refusing to do class work because he knows this way he will miss his playtime meaning they little shits that are bullying him can't get to him. I also told her that the classroom assistant will find fault with everything ds does, he fidgets- loses playtime, puts hand on radiator- loses playtime, redoes his shoes up - is made to stand up for the duration of the lesson.

I am trying to calm down but am so angry i feel like bursting into tears. Don't get me wrong i know he is no angel show me an 8 yr old boy who is? but he is not the terror they are making him out to be.

SORRY FOR RANTING ON PEEPS.

[thisisdavina]

I didn't want your post to go unanswered but I honestly don't know what advice to give you . I'm so sorry that you and your son are experiencing this.

It seems as if the school have not handled the situation at all well and you have every right to be angry.

I wonder if you can have someone accompany you to the meeting (as you will be up against at least 3 members of staff and it may feel quite intimidating)

Is there someone who can act as a mediator. I can't think who but maybe afamily liason type person or someone from the educational department?

Good luck though, I really do hope that this can be sorted.

BTW, absolutley aghast that your DS was made to stand up for the entire lesson. Surely this is a case o the teacher bullying the child.

[viticella]

Don't have much to say but we are listening and on your side! Hope against hope that when you meet the teachers it will clear the air and you can have some sort of productive result.
Your little boy deserves his education and to reach his potential in life.

[AngharadGoldenhand]

I would suggest:

you need to take someone in with you for moral support when you go to the meeting.

Also take a written list (with dates, if possible) about all the incidents that have happened to your son. Keep a copy yourself.

You might want to ask the school for a copy of their anti-bullying policy and discipline policy.
Ask them to show you where it says that if a child is disruptive they have to stand up for the entire lesson?

I think I would consider keeping my child off school until the bullying had been sorted out.

[MejustMe]

Davina,
what makes the standing worse is that the school know he has a bad knee and has done since he was 3 yrs old. Anyway he is happily sitting here with a school friend they are doing their holiday homework lol i have peace n quiet lmao...ok so i bribed them.

Forgot to add that the ring leader today has been "grassed on" in as much as another pupil has told head that he is getting the class to bring things in to give him or he bullies them. Apparently he tells them he is the same as the godfather....why on earth is an 8 yr old watching films like that?

[hk78]

mejustme, i find that no-one takes you seriously until you casually mention certain key words, such as 'solicitor'these days (you don't have to mean it, just drop it in the conversation) also 'police' can be an effective word. as can 'my local m.p' or 'our local newspaper'

sorry if a bit drastic but it looks like you've tried everything else and are not being listened to,so you need to focus their minds on this problem. think about it, the things our children are expected to tolerate just because they are 'schoolkids'-in any other situation, these things would be taken seriously, and in the case of the split lip that you mentioned, if it was done to you or i, it would be called assault and charges could be pressed, so why not mention that to school in regard to your ds?
good luck+all the best.

[mumofhelen]

I agree with the previous post. I think it may be wise to contact your local MP and ask for his/her help - or at least recommend someone locally who can help you. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. I also get the impression that the school do not know how to handle the situation and are reacting in a very "defensive" manner. Good luck and keep mumsnet informed on developments.

[Aloha]

OMG, your poor son! This is awful! He is being bullied by his teachers as well as other children. I would also be mentioning solicitors tbh. And also looking at another school for him. This is intolerable. Have you seen a copy of their bullying policy? If not, get one today (unless it is half term for you).

[Aefondkiss]

mejustme that sounds so awful for your wee boy to be going through, I hope you have someone going with you for moral support

[mamalocco]

Google anti bully and contact some groups who can offer you some support/advice. Go into the meeting armed with as much info as you can. Agree with other posters, out everything in writing, and cc it to local MP and school governors. Haven't had any personal experience, but there are organisations out there that can help you. Good luck.

[Aloha]

Try www.bullying.co.uk