HIgh Expectations

[looneymum]

OK, so what do you make of this. We have a little "treat bag" on the christmas tree that the "fairy" sometimes puts a little sweetie or chocolate in. My DD1 (nearly 5) came home from school the other day looked in the bag, saw a chocolate, threw herself on the ground said I don't want chocolate, I want sweets, went upstairs and had a right old strop. When she reappeared, I explained that it was a nice treat and that some children don't get nice things and that she is very lucky (all a bit lost on her I am afraid). We have a lot of these incidences. Perhaps I should stop doing nice stuff. We also have an advent calendar with lots of drawers filled with gifts and sweeties. On a day it isn't something sweet she always has a strop. Does anyone have any thoughts on what is a good thing to say, or should I just ignore - very hard as it makes me so cross! Help!

[Miaou]

Um well, call me mean, but I would leave the bag on the tree empty and when she complains, tell her that the fairy was so upset that she didn't like her little gift that she went away to give it to someone else. At nearly 5 I would say she is old enough to understand. But then perhaps that's easy for me to say because my dds don't have a temper!

When she does have a strop, do you ever give in and give her what she was after in the first place?

[looneymum]

Miaou - thanks - in fact, the bag has not been "filled" since the incident. I never give in and actually think I am quite mean. It is so frustrating when you spend all your time trying to do nice stuff and you get strops in return. I suppose that is what being a mother is all about!

[Miaou]

If you never give in then tbh I think you are doing all you can to nip the behaviour in the bud!

Don't beat yourself up about it. And repeat the MN mantra - "It's just a phase, it's just a phase, it's just a phase ...."

[robinia]

If this happens regularly I think I would make a point of saying to dd tonight that if she strops about it in the morning then the bag won't go back on the tree for the rest of Christmas (or however long you can bear). Same with advent calendar. Don't blame it on fairy - make it quite clear that it's you responsible for non-appearance of treats. Am I too harsh? - maybe but I couldn't be doing with strops when I'm going out of my way to be nice.