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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

What adjectives would you use to describe the ideal son?

30 replies

chocolateshoes · 03/12/2006 19:52

Following a discussion with DP this evening I was wondering how most people would like their sons to turn out? How traditional are we in our gender stereotypes? So what adjectives would you hope to be able to use in describing your son? sensitive? caring? strong? brave? And do you think Dad's have different ideas to Mums?

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TheChristmasArmadillo · 03/12/2006 19:58

mine would be less based on gender stereotypes and more based on what I view as mine and dp's strong points/weaknesses.

But then this is based on my ds who is of course perfect (he's asleep)

chocolateshoes · 03/12/2006 20:02

The discussion arose cos I said I think DS will be quite a sensitive boy. I've aalways been accused of being over-sensitve by my dad & so have always been taught that sensitivity is a negative thing. However, I think it is good to be sensitive & think alot of Mums would be happy if their son was sensitive. Does that make any sense??

OP posts:

NappiesGalore · 03/12/2006 20:05

my perfect sons are the three boys i have, however they turn out. think ill give them a chance to work it out for themselves rather than project my own wishes on them...

krimbokrackerskayzed · 03/12/2006 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheChristmasArmadillo · 03/12/2006 20:06

yes that does make sense and I think it is an interesting topic.

Am history student and my dissertation is on teaching gender roles to children (some 400yrs ago) but it brings up some interesting things.

One thing I have noticed about looking at gender (not just for dissertation, but I tend to focus on it) is how ideas of what 'male' and what 'female' should be have changed so completely depending on time and place.

Being sensitive has been thought of as a 'male' quality in different times/places.

Not sure what point is to this, but I find it interesting.

Miaou · 03/12/2006 20:06

sleeping

krimbokrackerskayzed · 03/12/2006 20:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostinfrance · 03/12/2006 20:09

This reply has been deleted

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chocolateshoes · 03/12/2006 20:09

You are right Nappies, not to project wishes onto your kids & I agree. What I don't want are characteristics to be stamped out by other family members if they don't think they are appropriate (this is mainly directed at his 2 grandfathers!)

OP posts:

NappiesGalore · 03/12/2006 20:10

lol miaou - thats what i was gonna post based on the title...

7swansaswimmingup · 03/12/2006 20:11

i think views change as they get older, my ds now aged 12 i would describe as funny, moody, tearful, happy, stroppy, very sensiti

DizzyBinterWonderland · 03/12/2006 20:15

this reminds me of when we told FIL we were expecting a girl, and he was quite deflated i think as he already had a grandaughter but no grandsons. he has a big love of cricket and said what a shame he wouldn't be able to buy her a cricket set! i said of course you can FIL and he said well yes i could look out for a pink set

dingdonglapinroseonhigh · 03/12/2006 20:17

female

homemama · 03/12/2006 20:37

Happy, healthy, well-adjusted, kind and very importanly; respectful.

persephonesnape · 03/12/2006 20:42

i have two sons and they already have different qualities - one is sensitive, kind, helpful affectionate, nurturing - the other is more 'boyish' bouncy, fascinated by combat and martial arts ( despite my best intentions, everything is a fight - he wants to join the army!) as a mother who lives alone with her children ( although they have positive male role models) It's more important to me that they grow up to be kind, honest, truthful in their relationships with others, optimistic and studious. just like their older sister.

deaconblue · 03/12/2006 20:45

"mine" - is that an adjective?

Skribble · 03/12/2006 20:53

LOL I was going to say...

MINE!

but adjectives, I think his best trait is his care and concern for others, he is very loving and cuddly. BTW he is 9.

Totally against the stereotypes I suppose, he is strong and active too but it is when he does things like looking after his little sisters dolly for her while watching TV or lets her go first or tells me he loves me and hugs me, that I have a tear in my eye and I feel so proud.

PanicPants · 03/12/2006 21:02

loving
kind
caring

heavenlyghosty · 03/12/2006 21:10

Do you know what? My DS is pretty damn near perfect in our eyes ...
OK so he has his moments of rude, obnoxious behaviour (yesterdays showing off at a birthday party was an example and was very embarrassing) and he has a temper etc etc ... but he is human. It is my job to teach him how to behave, not his job to know automatically ... it is normal for him to go through a showing off phase I guess ....
He tries really hard to control his temper but sometimes he can't (tbh sometimes I lose my temper too) ...
But, he is healthy and a good eater, he is funny and clever, he is sensitive, he is loving (but not mushy), he is cheeky, he cares about his family, he is active and sporty. He is brave when it matters but still needs cuddles in the middle of the night and when he is sad.
He is a smashing kid and I am so glad he is MINE!

There ... that has done me an awful lot of good writing that down, very therapeutic ...
Sometimes in the usual rush of a day and school drop offs and pick ups etc it is easy to lose sight of what a great kid I have ....

I am the luckiest woman in the world

NappiesGalore · 03/12/2006 22:17

ah now you see, thats where youre wrong. b/c that person is me

heavenlyghosty · 03/12/2006 22:33

zookeeper · 03/12/2006 22:34

kind

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suedonim · 03/12/2006 22:39

My two boys are grown up, at 27 and 31yo. They are like chalk and cheese, physically and otherwise, and would probably not give each other the time of day if they weren't related. But they also share some traits.

Neither of them is a macho type although ds2 would be able to get himself out of trouble, while I would fear for ds1. They both empathise with others and are considerate of what they do. Ds1 is married and when I see him with his dw it warms my heart. He isn't afraid to show his emotions in public and obviously adores her as much as he did on the day they married, nearly five yrs ago.

Ds2 is quite highly strung and can be prickly to deal with at times, I suspect due to issues from his childhood to do with ill-health. Thus he likes to keep a barrier up but has a very soft side to him. I doubt he could deny his little sister a single thing she asked for! Once past the barrier he gives everything he has to give. Both my boys are demonstrative and give and receive hugs and kisses as they did as children.

I think the most important thing I'd want to say about them is that they're both the sort of person I'd be happy for my dd's to share their lives with.

Bozza · 03/12/2006 22:42

Suedonim - how lovely.

busybusymum · 03/12/2006 23:04

Sorry posters but you are wrong because "I am the luckiest woman in the world" i have two DS's they are very different from each other but both perfect in everyway I also have 2DD's who too are perfect.

see its meeeeeeeeeeeeee

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