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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Naughty word

33 replies

moudlesmum · 27/11/2006 09:44

My little 20 month old DD has started saying "bugger" I CANNOT believe it! I think she's picked it up from her grandparents and I just don't know WHAT to do! Any advice as to how on earth I STOP it without making a fuss??! I've so far ignored it and had to stifle a laugh, but now I''m mortified and don't think it's funny at all!!

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Trinityrhino · 27/11/2006 09:46

keep ignoring and she will forget about it

moudlesmum · 27/11/2006 09:52

ok - thanks. What do you think to saying 'bother' when she says it - do you think that'll make it worse?

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Hallgerda · 27/11/2006 09:52

Oh dear. Have the grandparents been feeding her on burgers which she can't pronounce properly? If so, expect a call from the Mumsnet Food Police imminently.

I don't think just ignoring the issue will work. I think you need to express disapproval (else how will she know she's not supposed to say her shiny new word?) and have a word with the grandparents (or their budgie).

Hallgerda · 27/11/2006 09:53

I think the "bother" idea is a good one, but I'd still have a word with the "source".

moudlesmum · 27/11/2006 10:00

god - now you're asking me to open a can or worms!! 'having a word' insn't an option! Grandparents care for DD whilst I work (from home)3 days a week - so they are doing us a MASSIVE favour (childcare costs as they are) so they spend an awful lot of time with DD and are v v good with her - BUT I often get to feel like the nanny and get told about the things DD does - which is lovely, but also gets to me a bit (maybe I'm a bit oversensitive) but I just can't have a word as motherinlaw is HYPER sensitive and will probably just go into a mega silence etc etc - just a nightmare!!

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aliceband · 27/11/2006 10:03

i don't think bugger is really bad. when my dd was 4 she started saying the f word, ffs, i managed to persuade her to say fiddlesticks, she stopped, eventually, after a battle, ended up igorning her, but it was very hard.

moudlesmum · 27/11/2006 10:11

Nightmare for you alicband! You're right - it's not really bad, but it's upsetting - if DD came back from nursery, childcarer, or with nanny saying "bugger", I'd hit the roof!!
Will carry on ignoring it.

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vipersister2 · 27/11/2006 10:44

Maybe you could tell her that's a grown-up's word, but in a kind of 'oh, silly mistake' way and not a big serious 'this is really getting to mummy' way. Tell her the word for children is bloops or boominerry or something that sounds lush to her little ears. Then you have to look a bit cartoony-shocked when she says it. FWIW I actually told my 2 sons that bugger was a grown up word but they could use it if they'd really really hurt themselves - and now age 6 + 4 they tell me through their tears "I can't say that, I'm too young!"

moudlesmum · 27/11/2006 10:47

ahh, bless! thanks for the realy good advice - will go and try to tell stoneyfaced m-i-law that's what we'll do from now on!

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snowleopard · 27/11/2006 10:58

Say with a shocked face "I heard her say bugger! - how awful, she must have picked it up from the neighbours/binmen/whatever, I have a plan to get her to say bloops instead, let's all do the same so she gets the messagge." Then if it was them, they'll save face but realise they might need to be a bit more careful.

However, all children are going to get these words from somewhere, somtime. Better to learn that they are disapproved of and only for grown-ups in extreme circumstances, than to try to make sure she never hears them, which is impossible.

moudlesmum · 27/11/2006 11:05

Thanks - that's great advice.

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Shell150 · 28/11/2006 14:08

I was in the kitchen this morning when something fell out the cupboard dd 2.4 came running through shouting oh for f sake mum i ignored it and she kept saying it finally had 2 tell her thats is not nice and stop it now!! not heard it again today but am waiting on it when were in the middle off tescos surrounded by old bats that will tut their heads off

moudlesmum · 28/11/2006 15:00

oh no!!!! Don't you feel AWFUL that they've picked it up!!! It's so embarrassing and makes you look terrible! I DREAD the looks the old biddies give you!!

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meysey · 28/11/2006 17:40

ooops! a big van started reversing into me yesterday and I said a very loud f as I tried to reverse away. my toddler promptly repeated this loads, and I ignored it for now. With his brother I tried to pretend I'd been saying something else if I let slip, e..g. fox or sit, and it seemd to work.... not sure if I can get away with this again!

fortyplus · 28/11/2006 22:11

Mine came back from my parents' house calling each other 'silly nig nogs'

You can imagine that I gave my Dad a STERN talking to - he claimed that he genuinely didn't realise that anyone would find the expression offensive.

Fortunately I asked them not to say those words and they never did again. The older one is 13 and the worst I've ever heard him say is 'damn'. They both tell me off if I swear!

Trinityrhino · 28/11/2006 22:15

my dd2 919 months0 loves to have a fork and spoon with her food but it sounds like she is sayong "fuck a poon" when she asks for her fork and spoon

Trinityrhino · 28/11/2006 22:15

hmm mybrackets went funny then , she is 19 months lol not 919

FloatingInTheMoonlitSky · 28/11/2006 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ginnedupmummy · 28/11/2006 22:20

Message withdrawn

Missybaby · 29/11/2006 08:27

LOL at trinityrhino's dd2's 'fork & spoon'! priceless!

julen · 29/11/2006 09:02

Dd had a period when she couldn't pronounce the 'gr' bit and called her grandma 'bamma'.... (grin..). Certainly did get her a few looks in the street.

fortyplus · 29/11/2006 09:29

My niece called her Granny 'Baggy'

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HellyMnelly · 29/11/2006 10:27

Ds (17 months) loves animals and is particularly interested in horses at the moment. He's not great at talking though and calls them 'hors'. Which is quite embarrassing as we're walking along and he starts saying it, apparently at women as they walk past. I have to start talking loudly about horses to him and hope they realise.

vipersister2 · 29/11/2006 12:08

My dd couldn't say "fork" or "can't" for a while there.. best mealtime ever involved her screeching for a fork and when I asked her to use a spoon instead she shouted can't at me. PMSL, should have seen the look on my DH's face..

moudlesmum · 29/11/2006 15:06

These are all hilarious - I'm now back to seeing the funny side of DD sayin bugger!
I went to my first playgroup today and there was a 2.5 yr old girl there who was pinching and literally going for this other poor little girl - I rather DD said bugger a few times than behave like this little girl did. I'm sure that in time..........!

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