Potty - What is progress?

[LHP]

I know there are loads of threads about potty training,which i've read, but I would really apreciate some more advice please. Started DS yesterday (he's 2:6).I thought he was ready cos he can tell me when he's weeing - not every time, but about twice a day. Anyway, had him in pants for most of the last two days, but the only success hes had has been when I notice him start to go then physically park him on it (the potty). The rest of the time he will just look at me with a knowing look and maybe tell me afterwards. It is no fun follwing him around all day with pot, though he does seem pleased when it does go in, and he gets all the usual praise and "clever boy" fuss. Also we've had his teddy, (and mummy!) sit on it, work their pants and also receive copious praise, so he knows the deal!
I dont want to get on his wick asking him all day, he is normally pretty compliant with other things so i kind of think if he could do it he wouuld. What I want to know is what is progress: should i persevere or give him a break? I really want to do it without star charts or sweeties. Has anyone managed this? TIA

[gothicmama]

carry on he will getthere in the end maybe try nothing on and see what happens - maybe confusing pants as being same as nappy.
It will happen then you go on to night times!!!

[LIZS]

No tips but sympathy. dd knows what she should do, does it sometimes but not others. Wants to wear big girl pants but if she wets them shrugs and changes herself. Contrary little b**rs aren't they !

tbh if you are having to follow him around in the hope of getting him to do it right I wouldn't bother unless you have time and energy to burn. I'm back to giving dd the opportunity to practice and giving loads of praise for success - such as today when she dribbled a bit in her pants but took herself to the potty to finish. Will make a more concerted effort again in a few weeks. With her the novelty of stickers wore off pretty quickly anyway.

[frogs]

I would put him on the potty every hour or so, whether he says he needs to go or not. As long as he'll co-operate, that should take care of the wet pants.

At that age the gap between feeling the urge and actually doing the wee is so short that "I need a wee" usually means "I've just done a wee". Training them to anticipate their needs and get to the loo on time is a whole different level of training, that doesn't come till quite a bit later than 2;6.

hth

[Hulababy]

Having just gone through potty training with 24 month old DD last weekend I found that once she was ready, she caught on with the idea straight away with accidents very few and far between, and after two days was having no accidents at all.

BTW, I know you say you don't want to sue a start chart, etc. but we did use stickers as a reward and it was good. We had some very tiny little stickers and each time DD has potty success we stuck it directly on to her potty.

Also, the first day we had DD naked from the waist down so had no problems with having to try and remove them in time, and no way of confuing the feeling of having panys on with a nappy. And the potty followed DD - and was never too far away.

By day 3 the potty was in the bathroom. And we took it out with us.

It has now been 10 days and DD is completely dry. She takes herself to the potty and in most clothes can manage herself. If we are going out, or she is having a nap, or she is busy playing I do remind her that she might need to go - and encourage her to try.

You know your DS best. If he really isn't cooperating with it, why not give it a break for a month or so and then try again?

[elliott]

A very apt thread - just started with ds1 (29 months) at the weekend and wondering whether I've done the right thing....he's been using the potty regularly for months now and last week asked for his big boy pants, so I thought we'd go for it.
We had several accidents on Friday, NONE AT ALL on Saturday but severla on Sunday. The problem is that we are getting into a bit of a conflict situation about going on the potty - I know that if he would go every 1-2 hours he would be fine, but yesterday he kept insisting he didn't want to use it - at one point he virtually had his accident just as he was insisting 'no I don't need a wee wee....oh I've done a wee- wee!!'
So I'm a bit stuck - have I blown it by starting too early? Should I completely back off and let him decide when to go on the potty (just not sure he has the anticipation yet?) I was very encouraged on Saturday but now he seems to have got bored and gone on strike!
Oh dear, I didn't expect it to be this hard...I'm just not a very patient person and I'm not handling this very well!

[Hulababy]

This is how we got on with DD. Not sure if it'll help but gives you an idea of our progress. I have a bit more detailed diary on another site too as I found it useful to write it all down.

[elliott]

Thanks hulababy - I had read your thread earlier. How did you know dd was so ready - or was it something you only knew with hindsight given that it was so easy??
Ds1 had one accident at nursery today which I think is fantastic I think we've got to stick with it, I'll just have to learn to back off and pretend I'm oh-so-relaced about it all

[smartie]

Just wanted to say that they're all so different, having 'trained' 3 of them, 1st and 3rd were easier than middle child,bizzarely because she's the easy going compliant one. She went 3 weeks in pants, not a single wee caught in a potty.
Ipersevered for 3 reasons, 1) she was nearly three 2) she is obviouly a bright child and 3) it was lovely weather, few clothes needed, easy drying conditions. Towards the end of the 3 weeks I began tospeak openly to people about how we had been trying for 3 weeks, we were about to go on holiday, long car journeys etc and I was giving up. The day before we travelled my dd asked for the potty, she has been dry from that day on. (she's now 6)! I believe that she wouldn't attempt to suceed for fear of failure. I'm sure she's unusual,
but my point is, they wont 'do it' until they're ready/able to do it!

[elliott]

Just wanted to update that things are going extremely well here - so looks like I hadn't misjudged his readiness!
We've had no accidents since monday and have even been getting good at 'al fresco' wee-wees which takes some of the pressure off when going out. He definitely knows when he wants to go and when he doesn't! Very proud

[Hulababy]

elliott - it was pure chance that she got quite bad heat rask after the hot weather so we decided to have a day without nappies. Not potty trainign but I'd just watch her, and have potty ready to catch if I could. But she really took to it and was using the potty throughout that day. I do think she had been ready for a while - we had that Gina Ford potty training in a a week book and we could tick off all the things she lists.

[Hulababy]

brilliant news elliott! And well done to your DS

[hmum]

Help ds now 3.8 months have honsetly tried every suggestion under the sun to attempt potty or toilet training. After a complete break for a couple of months we are trying again, so far absolutley no success only mounds of washing and wet carpets and furniture. No medical problems and ds will do everything but actually wee or poo, ie will wash hands, flush toilet, pull clothing down.

Every attempt makes me feel more and more useless as a parent despite much support, have posted on this site during last attempt.

I really am at a loss and desperatley upset as I know no other child who is this old with so little progress. No matter how much everyone says dont worry , I do, what can I do ??

[hmum]

so sorry forgot to add well done to elliot what a great achievement. your earlier posting remind me of how I feel right now !!

[bunny2]

hmum, pls dont think badly of yourself. My ds was 4 yesterday and although he wees in the toilet fine, he will only do a poo in his nappy. A few weeks ago after lots of cajoling and bribery from me achieved nothing I felt a complete failure. Now I have decided to forget about it till he wants to use a toilet otherwise we both get stressed. If he is still using a nappy by school holiday time, then I may take some drastic action. I cant give you any practical advice but please dont think it is reflection of your abilities, some children are just a bit slower to 'get it'.

[hmum]

bunny2 thanks so much we had a breakthrough on Saturday , after doing yet another wee on the carpet ds went downstairs leaving me to clear up, dh arrived home with ds telling him he had done a wee , dh said well done , i shouted down to him that it was on the carpet, dh then said no he is standing here with potty in hand full of wee. There was much singing dancing and the presentation to ds of a long awaited toy train. The success continued for most of Saturday much to our joy.

Sadly Sunday and today have not been the same with frequent accidents and my feeling "what am I doing wrong" but I am filled with optimism since Saturday and feel we will get there eventually.

Thanks for all the support and to anyone else in the same situation Good Luck the break through will happen

[Want2BmorelikeRachel]

Hi LHP

Whatever you decide to do (ie, keep going or have a break) don't feel bad about it - if you honestly don't think he's quite ready then leave him for a bit - there's no shame in it.
My DD is 3:2 and I'm only just training her but she's picking it up quite well despite my impatience!

My problems with potty training have been with me rather than her - I've had about 3 or maybe 4 previous attempts but I've given up and put her back into pull-ups. The main reason for giving up were that I've had post natal depression since the birth of my DS who's now aged 20mths. I would try potty training for a few days, get really frustrated and angry with it when I was feeling particularly bad and start shouting at her. Luckily I had the sense to back off and leave it for a while. My first attempt was when DD was about 2:5 months old because my 'best' friend had trained her DD just after her 2nd birthday which she happens to share with my DD. My friend seemed constantly jealous that my DD was doing most things ahead of hers, especially that her DD didn't walk until she was nearly 2 (mine was 13mths when she walked). I think this is why as soon as her DD was steady on her feet she was thrusting a potty inbetween them! I prided myself on not being drawn into treating every development as a competition to be won but obviously I failed on this particular occasion. I referred to her as my 'best' friend because a few months later she proved she wasn't that (for a totally unconnected reason). My point is that I waited until we were both ready, whereas I've heard on the grapevine that my ex-friend's DD is still having many accidents at pre-school over a year later! I'm not going on about this to crow over my ex-best mate just to say don't be pressured into it by what others think.