3.5 yr old ds getting hit and not standing up for himself

[greedyguzzler]

my 3.5 yr old ds is a gorgeous little boy ( most of the time)!!!! we have taught him not to hit, push, bite etc and he never does! so what should i be telling him to do when he gets hit by other kids? he doesnt seem to be able to stand up for himself, but i dont really want to tell him to hit them back.
he is well above average height and weight and could easily stand up for himself if he needed to, and it always seems to be the little weedy kids that hit or push.
what should i tell him??????any advice anyone???

[myermay]

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[3littlefrogs]

This happened to my eldest when he was little. We had brought him up to be polite, kind, gentle etc. Then he found himself in a class of chidren who were not at all well behaved and he ended up being bullied. We told him to draw attention to the situation by shouting very loudly "stop hitting me!" etc. This only works if the adults take any notice. It is very difficult. I think you have to stick to your principles, but be prepared to keep a close eye on what goes on and stick up for him, until he is old enough to go to a martial arts class. That will give him confidence and street cred, and keep him fit.

Interestingly, my middle ds is a gentle giant now, but when he started in reception another child squirted water all over him. He filled a bucket and emptied it over this child's head, saying "don't mess with me". He didn't hurt him, and he never had any more trouble. The teacher was very cross and told me off at the end of the day. I just said it was a non-dangerous way to stick up for himself, given that discipline in the school was sadly lacking. He does a lot of martial arts now, and it has saved his neck a few times.

[greedyguzzler]

thank you! someone else suggested the shouting loudly thing, i think i will tell him to give it a try. tbh i think i am the biggest danger to him, not other kids.........after doing 'balancing gymnastics' together earlier he cut his head open and has been in casualty all afternoon.....now has a poor stitched up head! why am i worrying about other kids hitting him when i cant even look after him!!!!!

[myermay]

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[3littlefrogs]

He was about 6 - he started ju jitsu at a local class, he is still with the same instructor and has a whole drawer full of belts. He started kick boxing this year - he is now 15.6. It is the confidence and self discipline that I think is essential for boys. The state education system in this country lets boys down so badly, being totally geared for females, it is only things like sport and martial arts etc that keeps them out of gangs and off the streets.