How much "freedom" does your baby get with books?

[MiaOUCHthatHURT]

With dd1 and dd2, I was very precious about books - we only really looked at them together and they were never allowed to bend the pages/screw them up/tear them. They have grown up to be fairly careful of their books and, seeing how some of their contemporaries treated their school reading books when they started school , I felt I had done the right thing.

But when I had ds, I wasn't so sure - so I have let him have a few hardback books in his toybox. Well, they have been sytematically shredded, bent, chewed etc - about what I would expect really! He really enjoys them though and loves to turn the pages and point at the pictures. We read together too and it is a bit of an issue then as he is used to being very "hands on" and, erm, destructive.

So have I set myself down the slippery slope to producing a child who has no idea how to treat books with respect? Or, in the words of cod, "Miaou, you thinketh too much"

[moondog]

I tussle with same problem Miaou.

Now have some that have consciously decided can be battered.
The rest am careful with.
I have a little pile that I constantly mend.

Did you get DVD btw???

[MiaOUCHthatHURT]

I did thankyou!!!

Did you not get my email letting you know ?

(as you know I get terribly anal about thanking people )

[EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute]

my sis is a librarian and specialises in children's services. she is of the opinion that babies should be encouraged to enjoy books and if that means some damage, that's fine. the main thing is to learn books are fun. manners can come later. so she buys pop up books and watches them get wrecked by toddlers in the belief that today's over enthusiast will be next year's careful borrower. she still matches book to child so no robert sabuda for the under fives - but if babies chew board books, that's fine! hth!

[moondog]

lol lol

No,but my system is completely mad.
I don't get owt but lurid proposals from Eastern European prostitutes and offers to invest in Nigerian pyramid schemes.

I am glad. it arrived.

We must on no account ever exchange anything again.
We would have a nervous breakdown on account of meticulous manners.

[MiaOUCHthatHURT]

Enormous changes - I was a librarian (well, assistant) until very recently and we took the same attitude re. hardback and popup books - but I'm still not brave enough to get any out from the library

[MiaOUCHthatHURT]

pmsl moondog - perhaps we should stick to snailmail in the future

[EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute]

i know what you mean, despite sister i'd be mortified if dd damaged a library book! but sis keeps us well stocked anyway. got some lovely ones for her birthday. a librarian in the family is a fine thing!

[SweetandTenderTatties]

How old is he Miaou? I think it's really hard (well with my ds anyway!) to stop them chewing and bending anything when they are younger. I totally agree with you that books should be respected, but I think they will learn that as they get older. I have always let ds have books in his toybox and they are rather 'worn' but also well loved. If he was being really destructive, i.e. tearing pages, I would just take it off him until he was in a calmer mood. Miaou, you thinketh too much

[MiaOUCHthatHURT]

He is 15 months, tatties.

He also has an Argos catalogue in his toy box which is swapped for a book when he is in particularly destructive mode

I was hoping he would take after his friend who delicately flicks the pages - but no. He's already destroyed the Garden Equipment section and is rapidly making his way though Electronics

[SweetandTenderTatties]

poor argos catalogue

[foundintranslation]

ds is 17 months and also 'loves' books rather too well He has free access to most of his books (they are on shelves he can reach in the living room) - some nicer ones, though, we only let him look at with us, and he will come and point to them when he wants them. Whatever book he is 'reading', we make a point of encouragng him to be careful with the pages etc. He has the habit of pulling books down from his shelves, and we're trying to discourage him from doing that and from stepping on them

[MammyM]

my little boy has destroyed many books, some he was allowed to play with, hardier ones, and others he just got hold of. I would rather he got used to how a book 'works' and enjoys looking at them than being of the idea that they are out of bounds. How about a cloth book or a bath book? Have you seen the book people they're online thebookpeople.co.uk and are fab great books very cheap, I don't mind so much about him destroying these as they're a fifth of the price they would be in the shops. We save some books to read together and since he's moved into his sisters room, who has loads of books, he hasn't spoiled one (yet) he does seem to be getting the idea of looking after them, he's 3 now and loves a story.

[mamama]

I removed all the books I am precious about and only look at them with DS when we are together and he is calm. He has 2 shelves of his own board books, cloths books & bath books, so has plenty to chew & flick through. If eating his books and bending the pages makes him happy and encouranges him to love reading then great. But only with his own books, not mine!

He had a yellowpages for a while but tore all the pages out and put inky fingerprints all round the house . Argos catalogue is a much better idea.

[puppydavies]

dd had loads of board books that she was allowed to chew, adn she did. now she's 3 1/2 she's a model citrizen wrt books.

personally i'm of the mind that the books are hers, first and foremost, and while we should guide her about how they should be treated, if she wants to wreck them or draw all over them she's the one who loses out. we've tended to keep the more fragile books - e.g. non-board ones when she was tiny, expensive ones or fancy pop-ups - in a separate place, so they weren't the first ones she helped herself to.

those little boxes or sets of tiny toddler-scale books make really good sacrificial ones.

our library said they don't mind at all if the books come back torn (which was handy once upon a time )

[hulababy]

When very little DD had full access to some books, and limited access to more fragile or special books. Cloth and hard back books were part of her toys, and she could get to them whenever she wished too. Other books were to read together. Library books would be part of the latter group.

She's now 4yo and has full access to all of her books - she has 100s. She loves looking at, and starting to read, books. Just this morning she has spent 50 minutes in the play room, with her dolls are lined up, reading to them.

[hulababy]

Oh, and her books now are all in very good condition and she never writes in them or tries to damage them. As she has gotten older we have just reminded her how to look after her things, not just books.

[curlew]

We have a shelf with precious (handed down from my childhood!) expensive (lovely big animal books with lots of colour photos) and delicate(complicated lift the flaps) that are only to be looked at with a grown up. This rule applies to dd10 as well even thought she has always been careful so that ds5 doesn't feel discriminated against (dd knows why this is and she is happy with it) We then have lots of other books (I am an inveterate charity shopper) which take their chances. Mind you, I am very down on deliberate diestruction of anything, and I am also pretty down on carelessness. Accidental damage is inevitable and unavioidable.

[Twiglett]

you can let a child play with a book within parameters though surely?

so mine have always had free reign with their books so long as they do not do anything that can damage them .. so no ripping, no tearing .. gentle admonishment with a 'books are important' works

if you want a book in a toy box get a plastic or fabric or laminated one IMO

[CorrieDale]

DS adores books, but they frequently end up with some collateral damage. I keep precious ones out of his way, and mend the others where I can. If I can't, the next time we read it, I point out that the flap doesn't work anymore because he's torn it out. At 16 mo, I don't suppose he understands, but I think he is better now than he was. Our library people expect baby books to have a very short shelf-life, and go along to post-natal classes to say so!

[Pitchounette]

Message withdrawn

[wrinklytum]

I have told older one off (horrid mum) for tearing books but he is nearly 3 and does understand when I say "No ,books are special,and if you tear them we won't be able to read them".With dd 11 months she loves chewing them and I let her do this to her own but try to be careful with library books.,as she is too little to understand but I want her to have access to books and love them..Have you tried bath books or sturdy board books,a lot more robust.Incidentally I recently got a book from the library called "Theres a Monster in my House that Eats Books" where a little boy finds that his books are being chewed by what he thinks is a monster .Turns out its his baby sister.....ds loves it!!!I think your litte one is probably still at the chew everything in sight stage,so its inevitable.Maybe a gentle "No books are special" would help when they are a bit older?

[mammaduck]

i think it's best to let them explore and be enthusiastic about books, rather than forever be saying 'no, don't do that!' and 'careful'.

my lo (13 mths) has a shelf full of cardboard books (some with flaps) and I am really proud that he reguarly gets a book for himself and looks through it, burbling as if he were reading it!

i agree with EnormousChanges, manners with books can come later. It's like finger-food. you don't bother about teaching them table manners to start with. You're just pleased they're feeding themselves, any which way. Same with books. I'm just pleased he's 'reading' books, any which way.