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Is this just normal terrible twos arriving early - and what do I do?

6 replies

snowleopard · 17/10/2006 21:51

I thought DS (16mo) could strop for Britain already, but he's just started having really huge, screaming ab-dab tantrums and I'm not sure how to handle them. He screams and screams, kicks, wriggles, works himself up into such a state he can't breathe, and can't calm himself down - it goes way beyond stropping to get attention or get his own way, he actually can't control himself at all - eg today he really needed and weanted his milk but was so hysterical he kept pushing it away and spilling it. It went on for over half an hour until finally he made himself sick with screaming - I felt so sorry for him.

They start over totally everyday things like not being allowed to take his blanket in the bath or having to come back inside after a walk.

My question is what's the best response? I've tried holding and reassuring him, letting him lie on the floor with his blanket, in his cot, on our bed with me - everything just gets him more and more worked up. Distraction works if you get in early enough, but what if you don't? I don't want to punish or ignore him as it's obvious this is beyond his control...

And lastly does this sound like normal toddler tantrums? Advice much appreciated...

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slaughterfalls · 17/10/2006 21:57

Distract or ignore, sorry but it most probably is beyond his control.

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fridayschild · 17/10/2006 21:58

Erm, maybe not a good quick constructive help, but imo the trantrums are less bad if they can talk. I think often it's just frustration. DS2 far fewer trantrums than DS1, and all down to language skills. Maybe try signing with your DS?

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lipsbite · 17/10/2006 22:00

ignore is the best option as he gets to the point where he calm himself down. i would go out of the room and leave him.

(my DD started hers when she was 11 mths old!)

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MerlinsBeard · 17/10/2006 22:05

my ds2 is king of tantrums. he has a huge one for 20 mins today because he woke up....??? I had to put him in the naughty spot the other day, not for my benefit but for ds1 because he noticed that ds2 was being naughty. it helped actually to take him out of the room and put him somewhere safe. At the moment i find walking away works wonders. he will often get up and follow me still screaming and throw himself on the floor again but i just keep on walking away.

Its not as if he can't communicate, i do sign with him, he is just generally frustrated

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suzi2 · 17/10/2006 22:09

DS (14 months) is the same. Worse if he's tired. But he throws a strop at ANYTHING! We've had the throwing himself on the floor in M&S and refusing to get up too. Very embarrassing.

I just ignore as much as possible and find a quick distraction if it goes on too long.

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snowleopard · 17/10/2006 22:17

Thanks for your replies. Ignoring as in staying calm and not getting mad or seeming concerned, I can do. But if I leave him alone he literally throws himself around - when I put him in the cot today he flung himself to and fro, bashing his head. Maybe I'm a bit oversensitive - will he be OK if he's left doing that?

Like your DS2 Mumofmonsters, if I walk away he follows and wants to be picked up. If I hold him he struggles to get away.

Haven't had one while out and about yet... got that to look forward to!