Ds stole from our local shop.....

[northerner]

He is 4.5, just been for a walk to our local libray and on the way back popped into our local charity shop. We go in once a week, I buy books/videos and if ds has been good he gets to choose a toy from the 25p box. Anyway, today he has been a bit cheeky and not listening, so I said he was not getting a toy. He was looking at the toys whilst I paid for my books.

Back home I discovered a tiny batman figure in his coat pocket. I questioned him and he said he put it in his pocket because he really wanted it and I had said no.

So he stole it. How would you deal with this?

Am thinking we need to go back to teh shop and make him tell the ladies what he did. What do you think?

[ledodgywizardrobespierre]

I agree with you take him back, make him apologise.

[QueenEvil]

Yes take him back and let him tell the shopkeeper that he forgot to pay and let him pay for it.

At home give him a bollocking good and proper.


ds2 nicked something little from our local diy shop. I took him back, had a quiet word in the manager's ear before I hauled ds out of the car and he put on his sternest face and gave ds a right ticking off. As we turned to leave with ds suitably chastened, the manager and me exchanged a conspiratorial wink!

[zippitippitoes]

I think he probably is too young to fully understand the concept of shop and the exchange of money..

he has defied you when you said no rather than "stolen" it

I wouldn't go back to the shop myself but tell him you have to give it back

[HuwEdwards]

I agree with zippi, (and I consider my attitude to discipline on the draconian side!) but I think a telling off (with the promise that if he ever does it again you will take him back to the shop pronto) and no tv/sweets/whatever he likes for a day should do it.

[northerner]

Well we have just walked back to the shop to explain. Like Queenevil I spoke to the manageress first to explain, luckily she adores ds, but she did quite sternly tell him that he should not take things without paying as you can get into big trouble, and she made him promise never to do it again or he would not be allowed in the shop anymore, she finished with 'and we don't want that because you are a lovely little boy'

He looked very sheepish and started crying when we got outside.

Hard lesson learnt I think. But I do feel he is old enough to know that we pay for things from shops, and if we take without paying it is wrong.

[terramum]

I think going back to the shop is a good idea. He is still very young so can be excused for not really getting the concept of having to pay for things in shops, but he does need to see the consequences of taking things that dont belong to him. Nothing too heavy - simply explaining that he cant take things that arent his & showing him that he has to give it back. I wouldnt make him apologise personally as thats something he needs to do on his own - no real point if he isnt actually sorry iykwim. Making him physically give it back would be sufficient to make him feel remorse on its own, even if he doesnt actually say it.

[terramum]

Sorry cross posted!

[Pinotmum]

Ds "shop-lifted" a couple of months ago. He has just turned 4 yo this month. I took him back to the shop and told the assistant what he had done. On the way out we saw a police car and I said next time she is calling the police. He looked [shocked] and hasn't touched anything in a shop again. We talk alot about stealing things, lending things and borrowing things now alonf with his sister (6 yo).

[QueenEvil]

Good on the manageress northerner! You did the right thing.