Terrible title sorry 
Next time we'll start the discussion at 900 posts, OK?
Originally started by AnotherMonkey, we are trying to improve our parenting which may include less shouting (www.theorangerhino.com) and positive boundary setting (www.ahaparenting.com), or any other goal you want. If you want to be more authoritative that's a great cause too. No judging of parenting styles allowed, honest critique OK. There is occasionally homework 
(but really, honest, we're nice and don't care if you want to skip past that bit)
Dumping of emotions/ranting after a bad day also acceptable. The saying "in the trenches" refers mainly to having 2+ under 5 but really any stage which is repetitive, challenging, soul destroying about parenting.
Books recommended so far:
How To Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons
The Happiness Project
Calmer Easier Happier Parenting
The Explosive Child
The Highly Sensitive Child
Please post a little intro/reminder just with your DCs ages/stages and any extra challenges - a couple of us have relocated abroad, that kind of thing.
Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.
Behaviour/development
Come and be a better parent in the trenches! Thread 2
BertieBotts · 31/08/2014 09:56
Brilliant, thanks Bertie
That's so much better than I would have done x
I think Parenting is the perfect place for the thread. After all, it's really about us, not the children!
My DCs are a girl of 22 months and a boy of 3.9. My "additional challenge" is that we moved from London to the Southern USA last year for DH's work. We haven't managed to build up any sort of support network yet and DH works long hours, so I'm alone with the children for 11-12 hours a day during the week (longer on Mondays when DH has band practice). My plan was to get DS in to a part time nursery or preschool and to learn to drive. I haven't managed either yet 
.
As for today; my morning started well when DH actually volunteered to get up with the children so I got a very rare lie-in. Then DS decided to cut his own fringe, so it's off to the hairdressers for us this afternoon! I'm gutted; he has beautiful thick, silky, bright copper-red hair in a Beatle-esque mop top, and had cut a big chunk really short so it will all have to go.
bertie thanks for getting this new thread up, good name 
Just the one DS here, almost 4yo. Wondering if he'll end up with dx of something developmental but since the first thread started we have seen loads of changes in him. And us!
Started out with reflux / colic, cried and didn't sleep much up until last year really. Many many tantrums and meltdowns, not so much now. Strong willed. Stroppy. Lots of big feelings. Took an age to settle in at nursery. Hard to tell how much he understands.
More and more language coming now, a helpful streak, sometimes very gentle and loving, sense of humour, mischevious! So on the up and up mainly now but god the strain has been enormous and I was well down in the trench for a while.
Those of you with more than one DC (esp under five) and/or relocated to other countries... I think you are incredible
Well done bertie , great intro. My DCs are DD1 fully grown and flown the nest, DD2 14 and DD3 12. It may seem strange that I'm on a thread mostly populated by parents of toddlers and preschoolers. But they are nice here, and no one has thrown me out yet.
I remember well the days that I had two young ones and a young teenager and how difficult I found that at times. My younger children continue to present a challenge in very individual ways and I think puberty and that growing up phase has similar issues (struggle for independence, tantrums, communication challenges) as toddlerhood. They are quicker at getting their shoes on these days though
Hello to flamingo and frumble you are very welcome.
Hey a picture! that's a great rescue job, it looks good, frumble !
Hi everyone. Bertie I was going to say yes, let's move this thread, just so posters from the old thread can find us more easily, sorry frumble! A similar thread has been started in the Parenting section already, I think.
We've had a great weekend, after hitting my lowest point in a long time on Friday. Having DH around and getting some one-on-one time with each of them has really helped. DS is back to school this week and I'm warming up to working proper hours again; can feel my brain creaking back into action! This summer has been a roller coaster, but overall I'm going to miss them like mad.
My two had their first, proper, words only argument today. It went roughly like this:
DD: DS! STOP it!
DS: no! YOU stop it!
DD: no! YOU stop it!
DS: NO! YOU stop it!
DD: noooooo YOU s..... you get the picture. It went on for considerably longer than this but yay no physical injuries. It's a milestone...
bertie how did your day go?
This reply has been withdrawn
Withdrawn at poster's request
Welcome newbies :)
MoreSnow I hope you're getting support from the BF section on here, they really are brilliant. Also if you have a La Leche League group near you they're very good as well.
I'm enjoying the peace and quiet Although didn't have a great start as DS decided his bag was tooo heavy and gave a load of attitude about shoes, coat, etc and we ended up shouting at each other so he now has a screen ban, which is probably unfair because I was shouting too, but eh, he was being really rude to me. It was more for that than the shouting.
It is decidedly COLD in the mornings now too which I am grumpy about. DH thinks it's a great move to pull the covers off me too if he thinks I'm taking too long which I have explained just makes me want to hurt him and/or grab the covers back and curl up for even longer but he seems totally deaf to this and insists it's helpful. GGGGRRR.
Sorry for just chatting with normal not particularly parenting related stuff. Am not awake yet, need coffee.
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Ok homework already, this thread has hit the ground running
I'm in with the less technology challenge. We need to think creatively about how to fill the the void left afterwards though. I'm going to steadily work on getting dingy corners of the house cleared of "stuff". I can take advantage of the "new term" feeling that has dampened my strong hoarder tendencies and throw stuff out while I can.
I find it helps to set the timer on whatever device you are using, and when it bings off it goes. That way you decide before you start how much time you 'need' and get a bit more focused.
If I disappear mid sentence you'll know my timer has gone This also lets me know how the DCs feel when I tell them it is screens off time and I can genuinely empathise and not put myself in hypocrite position by tapping away whilst telling them to stop.
bertie I hope the coffee helped. I agree that pulling the duvet off is a bad idea. He should bring you a nice cuppa instead.
monkey look at what you do with this thread! you are brill. Don't let that brain of yours tell you any different. We know what you can do. 
.
I'm about to go bing, see you all tomorrow !
Yes, me! sign me up to the phone challenge. I waste too much time on it and so am less focused on the dc to all of our detriment. As I said, they squabble, I get fed up, check phone, get engrossed, get enraged when their arguing escalates, get cross with myself I've been on it again. My dh is not guilty. He doesn't own a smartphone and we don't have a tablet. One faulty laptop. That's it. So its definitely my problem
Decent enough day. No all out losses of temper but definitely me being irritable at bedtime. I'm not a terrible parent but I'm not as good as I should be. that's sad to admit.
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