14 month old hits people.

[Dexmummy94]

My 14 month old son has started to hit people when he doesn't get his own way, or he's being told "no" etc. He's never been around Violence, has never seen anyone else hit somebody. Is this normal for a child's natural instinct to be to hit!? And how do I discourage it?

[Heyho111]

It's very normal. He has learnt through developing cause and effect skill. I hit I get the toy / a great reaction / I can express my anger.
It's hard to discourage. His level of language development means 'no' only lasts for the second you say it. He won't understand the naughty step and his social development is at a stage where the world is about him.
Say no to him to help him develop the language skill.
Try modelling behaviour. Take his hand and stroke your arm. You could use cause and effect on him. He kicks you something boring happens. Eg you ignore him. He works out it's not worth doing it as nothing happens.
He sounds bright and determined which equals pushing boundaries. Good luck.

[Dexmummy94]

Thank you for your comment. It's so hard to be consistent with any discipline I try. He is an extremely vocal and bright child and it's almost like he knows he shouldn't do it, as he'll look me in the eye and hit and then smile. I hope this is just a phase that he'll grow out of. Your comment is much appreciated.

[tumbletumble]

Hi OP

My DC3 went through a hitting phase which started when he was about the same age as your DS. My older two never hit, so it was a shock for me and I found it so stressful.

It's really hard to teach such a young child not to hit. I'm afraid you have to become a bit of a 'helicopter parent' and follow him round very closely at the park / toddler group so that you can intervene if he tries to hit. You may notice that there is a pattern to it, eg DC3 was much worse when he was tired, so I would take him home early if necessary. Say NO firmly and apologise to the other parent when necessary (I know from DC1 and DC2 how awful it is when your child gets hit and the other parent seems very casual about it).

When he is a bit older you can try other discipline techniques. The most effective one I found was that, after one warning, I would take him straight home if he hit anyone. Your DS is still a bit young to understand that though.

When DC3 was 26m (sorry - it was a long phase!) he suddenly stopped hitting. Now he's a gentle and relatively well behaved 4yo. I honestly never thought I'd be able to say that!