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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

11 year old dd1 turned into a monster

13 replies

bluebluecow · 22/07/2014 10:48

Just that really. She is rude, disrespectful, horrible to her 8 year old sister and by horrible I mean really cruel. She is so rude to us and flies off the handle at the slightest thing. I know that hormones are probably to blame but myself and dh are really at a loss how to deal with it. We are all off on a two week holiday soon and the thought of spending two weeks with her the way she is at the moment is filling me with dread! I have tried talking to her, taking her I pad away etc but nothing is really working for any length of time. I understand that she is probably struggling and it's due to her age but we really can't let this behaviour continue as it is. Please help!

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MrsWinnibago · 22/07/2014 11:54

Oh I'll join your club. My DD is 10 on Sunday and she's been a rotter. Horrid to her 6 year old sister...always putting her down and imitating her etc.

The only thing I've found to help is to keep her off sugar and watch her diet for additives. It IS hormonal behaviour...they really can't help it sometimes...I explain about hurting her sister's feelings and it does go in...I try to get some activities for them both to enjoy together to bond them for instance...coffee and cake on Fridays in the cafe etc.

I can't offer more I'm afraid

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amyhamster · 22/07/2014 11:56

I think all school age kids are exhausted at the moment
It's been too hot in schools as usual & they're worn out with sports days, summer fairs, end of term palavers imo

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bluebluecow · 22/07/2014 11:57

Glad I'm not alone. She used to be so lovely it breaks my heart to see her being deliberately mean and rude. Shared activities sound like a good idea. Sometimes there are still glimpses of niceness in her!

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bluebluecow · 22/07/2014 12:00

They are all very tired that's true but she has been behaving like this for quite a while now. She's just finishing Year 6 today. She is very emotional about leaving her school and she's got her 'prom' tonight so I'm expecting tears and tantrums over dress/hair etc. I do understand a lot of why she's like it but just not sure how to deal with it. I am hoping a break from school may help things

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MrsWinnibago · 22/07/2014 12:03

I also think that FAR too much fuss is made about the whole leaving thing.

My DD confessed the other day that part of her sadness and unsettled feeling was due to the leavers ceremony. She told me how emotional it was with music, slide shows and tears all round,

I think they've gone overboard myself and that some kids just do better with a no nonsense approach.

My DD is not demonstrative and finds the other girls' sobbing hard to cope with.

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MrsWinnibago · 22/07/2014 12:04

Should add, my DD is only in year 5 so it was her year 6 who are leaving but the year 5s get caught up in it all really.

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BravePotato · 22/07/2014 12:07

Agree that far too much fuss is made over the leaving thing.

All kids are hot and exhausted. Still no reason to missbehave.

I find early bed times (8:30 lights out) keep my 11 yr old in a much more even mood.

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Smartiepants79 · 22/07/2014 12:08

Pretty much ALL the yr six girls at our school (and the boys) have turned in to mean little monsters this term.
They've been very hard work. Lots of tantrums and fallings out over nothing.
Hopefully the time away from all the dram will chill her out.
Remain consistent in your expectations for her behaviour.
Maybe some extra responsibilities and privileges to show that you understand she is growing up.

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MrsWinnibago · 22/07/2014 12:10

I think they should have a simple assembly and perhaps each child could receive a book of photos and then they could all sign them.

All these Oscar-like performances! Really.

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bluebluecow · 22/07/2014 12:31

I am dreading the leaver's assembly today to be honest. They are putting on another performance where the girls have to dance with the boys. They'll be slide shows of reception and awards handed out. It's going to a complete sob fest. They really do need a break from it all....and so do we! Maybe an earlier bedtime would be good. She has been staying up a bit later because of the hot weather.

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BravePotato · 22/07/2014 14:01

my quiet introverted Y6 son, who has never gotten into trouble, got into a fight (a fight!) the day-before-last-day of term.

I was gobsmacked. So was his teacher.

Also, he wept on his last day of school, which was completely unexpected.

What are they doing to our kids?!

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dimsum123 · 22/07/2014 20:35

I agree. My DD is usually very bubbly and cheerful but has been moody and stroppy recently (yr6). The school and some of the other parents are blowing the leaving thing out of ALL proportion, with endless leavers special events going on for about 2 weeks now. It's totally ridiculous. The prom was better organised and more elaborate than my wedding reception.

Completely OTT and contributing to my DD being far more upset than she would have been.

Will be so glad when it's all finally OVER.

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bluebluecow · 25/07/2014 07:51

Well, the leaving thing was traumatic. Dd cried at the leaver's assembly, enjoyed the leaver's party (on Tuesday) but since then has not stopped crying! She is totally devastated that she won't be going back to that school. I thought she'd be fine by now and enjoying the holidays but she is thoroughly miserable. I took them for a lovely day out yesterday but it made no difference. How can I help her cope with this? She says she is dreading high school even though a lot of friends are going.