does your 9 year old ds have lots of friends?

[stitch]

during a conversation with my dad today, i realsied that ds hasnt interacted with any of his school friends a ll summer holidays. all he does is watch tv, or play/fight with 5 aand 3 yrold siblings. when we go to various classes at the gym, he is happy to do so, and interact with the kids there, but he doesnt seem unhappy at all.
wondering coz at his age, i was always out playing with other kids, or on the phone to friends.. should i be concerned? how can i get him to have more friends?

[admylin]

That is exactly my problem, our 8 year old ds is quite happy to stay in his own little world with abit of tv now and then, forced trips outside with us - when the neighbours kids call he will only play with them if he is in a really good mood - but he also seems happy. Maybe it's a "boy" thing because my dd is totally the opposite and so were my sister and I as kids - having friends was the number one important thing in our lives!

[shimmy21]

Funny - now you say that I realise that my 9 yr old ds hasn't interracted with school friends during the hols either. At least in part because these days kids don't just hang around in the street like they did when I was young. All playing with mates is arranged and agreed with parents beforehand etcetc But I don't think a break from mates is a worrying thing in the least. With my ds it's a bit 'out of sight out of mind' with friends and as long as he's happy there are enough other things to worry about.

[stitch]

except that as my dad poiinted out to me, a lot of the friendships he still has were forged at this age. they have survived all sorts of upheavals and traumas etc. i dont want him to miss out on such bonding. but even during school timme, he doesnt interact with them the way i know i did.
i guess it is a sign of the itimes.

[shimmy21]

yes I'm not denying that friends are incredibly important.

This morning I took ds1 and 2 to a football camp. Ds1 the 9 year old happily waved goodbye and ran off to meet up with all the new friends he had made yesterday. Ds2 clung to the wall and refused to join in any of the games going on where even his supposed best friends from school were because he said 'they don't want to play with me because they've all got other friends.

I suppose in the end we can't do it for them but I know that heart sinking feeling of worrying that your child is the one left out.

[SydSnow]

I can't even remember who I was friends with at 9! I don't think he's running out of time to make enduring friendships. I've had this conversation with my friends and most of us agreed that our strongest friendships didn't really develop until toward the end of high-school.
I would try to relax if I were you.