16 month old being very difficult :(

[tigertum]

My 16 month old is being very difficult at the moment. He has become a real 'toy thief' and has massive, floor-rolling trantums if I take whatever toy he is after and give it back to the baby he is playing with.

We went to this birthday party yesterday and he was the only baby playing up. To be fair he was the oldest by a few months and by nature has alwasy been very, very active but, it was such a nightmare.

Whilst all the other babies played nicely and were't that much bother, my DS rampaged around the houce and garden - turning on the oven, puttingh his hand in the bird bath, posting toys into the pond, stealing toys, running down the slide - need I go on? The whol afternoon all I got was sympethetic 'he must run you ragid' comments of people. His final (and biggest trantrum) at the end of the party happened after another mum intervened and took a fire engine off him and another baby. Everyone was just staring at me and DS. We eventually scuttled off leaving a trail of devestation in our wake.

It was so embaressing and I think everyone there thought I was a terrible parent. Can anyone relate to this? What do you do when your child steals toys etc? I dont want to end up on House of Tiny Tearaways

[madmarchhare]

DS was exactly like this. I pretty much let him get on with it to a certain degree as I didnt want to be constantly shreiking 'NO' at him. If he took a toy from another child I would calmly take it off him and say 'we share our toys/x was playing with that/whatever was appropriate' and try to distract. If distraction wasnt working then I would just ignore and leave him to his little paddy in the middle of the floor. It is tricky especially when all eyes are on you.

As he got older he would get warnings to play nicely etc.. and then be removed from situation, even if it meant going home. Harsh, but it has to be done if you dont want a constant battle on your hands especially if you have a live wire.

[madmarchhare]

Obviously if something is dangerous you have to intervene, but try saying what you would rather him do and not saying 'no' all the time.

[loopylou0612]

I agree with Madmarchhare. My dd 2.6 years is a real nightmare at the moment and to be honest, I'm fed up of the good old excuse, it's the terrible twos! I know that it is, but I can't help feeling that she is old enough to know the rules to certain things! She has mega tantrums and she's not fussed where they take place. Her favourite is in public places and it has made me reluctant to take her anywhere.

I too try to ignore the tantrums, that way I am not giving her the attention she wants from a negative situation. I leave her to yell the place down and then, when the tantrum has subsided, I go over to her and give her a cuddle, because memory in young children is quite limited and nine times out of ten, they can't even remember why they got so upset in the first place.

Things are getting better as she rapidly approaches 3 but it is difficult. You just have to ride it out. You're not a bad parent at all and you should not feel like that. Your ds is obviously a little headstrong character and this should be allowed to happen. It's who he is at the moment. I know it's difficult but just try to ignore the tantrums, offer him alternatives when he 'steals' toys from other children, or keep him busy with cuddles and singing. Definately works for me! Good luck!