Pushy Mothers .... I can't keep up ......

[Crystaltips]

This is more of a rant than anything ... but I am finding it all rather hard to keep up with.

I am really enjoying the summer holidays - but feel that I am ruining them by beating myself up about what other people's kids are doing.

Without exception my mates seem to be run ragged whereas I am taking it easy and having "fun" with the kids.

We are week 7 of the holidays ( Irish holidays ) and everyone is out there doing stuff.

One week it's tennis camp, the next week it's football camp ... and any days in between the cricket pitch
Someone elses kids are "spending the whole summer on the golf course" ...

Why aren't I doing this ...?

We get up late - the kids spend most of the morning on th PS2 and then ( once I have pulled myself put of my book ) we go and so an afternoon activity.

No I admit and I am not hugely sporty and neither are the kids ( DS 13 and DD 11 ).... so we go to the movies, or the beach or invite a mate around.

I KNOW that I should not worry .... but why aren't I doing what everyone elses kids do ...

I feel that after school they need a break from all that organisation and should be allowed to switch off .... am I being a bit lazy / selfish.

SHould I up my game ???

Thanks

OMG Postie has just come to the door and I am in my Jammies !!

[southeastastra]

kids need time to mellow out like the rest of us. having time to do what they want is good for them

[mousiemousie]

sounds lovely - why would you waste time wishing you were "run ragged" ?????

Are your kids begging you to go to all these "camps?"

[psychomum5]

sounds like the ideal break to me......and is really the same as mine have been doing.

I see no need to run ragged during the hols.....they only go back feeling unrested in m my opinion, and that doesn't do anyone any good, least of all the teachers who want fresh faced kiddies to start to.

keep up doing that, and if really worried, ask the kiddies if they are enjoying their hols and go from there.

my guess is they must be cos they would certainly have said something before now!!!

and on that note.....I need to go shower too myself

[Crystaltips]

Thanks both ...
Not really MM .... DS is just thrilled that he's allowed to veg about ... DD has just made me a "best Mum in the world" card and is now in the garden on her bike ...

I just wonder why all these other mums don't just stop and draw breath for a minute ...

But thruthfully .... I AM in the minority here ...

[Crystaltips]

psychomum5 ... sorry - posts crossed ...

Shower sounds like a good idea ... I'd better go too ... Heh Heh !!

[clairemow]

it sounds lovely, and children need a rest after the school year - plenty of time for working hard and rushing about... Why shouldn't you still be in pjs in the summer holidays? Also think of all that money you're saving not paying for golf/football/ballet tuition, whatever!

[bran]

I don't think that everyone else's kids are doing all that because the mums are trying harder, it's because they have annoying/over active kids. When I was a school I did lots of camps/activities because the Irish holidays are long and my mum and I drive each other mad if we are together all day for longer than a week.

[BudaBabe]

If you are happy and the children are happy then do as you are doing. Sounds very similar to what we did although we had some time away too.

DS went back to school yesterday and I really felt I could have done with another week or two just doing what you are doing! I love mornings when we get up when we like, DS potters about watching TV, playing Playstation, in and out of garden etc and I read, play with him, potter about etc etc. Bliss. Enjoy it while you can!

[Crystaltips]

Don't get me wrong .... We've had a 2 week holiday and DS did Cricket camp for 1 week and we went to my parents for a week ... so it hasn't been that bad ...

It's just that the other Mums look at me in horror when I say that we have nothing planned for the rest of the week .... they look at me with pity .... ( or perhaps it's envy )

[Elibean]

My bestest memories of childhood summers are of long days full of unstructured SPACE and TIME.....I'd rather be on holiday with you than your mates anytime.

[sandyballs]

I know exactly what you mean. My two have done nothing "structured" this holiday, except one week of mornings at their school holiday club.
My two seem happy enough pottering around, meeting friends, going to farms etc.

They are 5 and they are the only kids in our neighbourhood (that I know of!), who do nothing "structured" after school. All the mums seems to be dashing off to ballet, football, gym club, beavers, rainbows, disco dancing, tennis, swimming you name it, their kids do it. I was asking DH recently if we're being neglectful by not doing anything. My two just aren't interested at the moment.

[Twiglett]

hang on a tic

sending your kid to football or tennis camp is easy and is also great fun for the kids .. its social and exercise and fun .. they don't tend to cost extortionate amounts .. maybe one or two weeks is ok

playstation has its place as does tv but if that's what you do every day then it isn't a case of relaxing is it? .. going to the beach / movies / doing something is fab ..

its all about balance

you find the balance you're happy with

but you balance it with stuff your kids need .. if one is not sporty one risks teaching kids to be the same .. using a summer sports camp could help break the cycle IMO .. exercise / sport is a life lesson and shouldn't be so easily poo-pooed

please note use of word 'one' I am not commenting on OP's position .. I am commenting in general

[Twiglett]

DS (5) is currently on 1 week footie camp (10.30 - 5) .. he has had 2 weeks in Devon and the rest of the time we potter too

[Crystaltips]

forever the voice of reason .... thanks twig

[Crystaltips]

Whilst at the movies with my kids this afternoon .... I bumped into one of the aforementioned mums ... she said that she is allowing her DS to miss the first three days of school ( Weds - Fri next week ) ......

as he's on a sailing course

[nappyaddict]

the only thing that i would be worried about is that they spend every morning on the ps and don't do a lot of sport. it doesn't have to be structured activities as such, just a kick about in the garden, swimming, rollerblading, cycling etc. it can be a lot of fun discovering your inner child! why not balance their time on the ps with a bit of reading (can be magazines if they aren't into books) or maybe cooking as they are old enough to not make a mess and need much supervision. or how about making or building something together? above all ask them what they'd like to do.

[Crystaltips]

Thank you all for your replies ....

Yup they read for about an hour a day ( should probably be more )

They rollerbalde in the garden .... I do send them out ....

I was just concerned about the "structured" ( farming them out ) approach ...

We are off on a cookery course tomorrow ... Should be good for them too .... and relive m of that awful chore and meal planning !!

[Crystaltips]

ooops " relieve me"

[fatfox]

Crystaltips

Can I join in? I agree with you on this. DS had had one week of morning tennis - the rest of the holiday has been lazy afternoon picnics, spontaneous trips to the park etc with DD and I. I'm a firm believer that children are just as happy with simple pleasures, as when you throw loads of money and activity overload at them.

I refuse to book up hols with structured activities as they have enough structure at school and I have more than enough structure at work!

We haven't even been away this summer as I'm PG and feel too ill. But they've been fine and had some really nice relaxed days out.

We also have the same problem as you during term time. some of the Mum's in DS's class have got so competitive, sending their poor children to Kumon maths every night to try and push them to the top of the class! They are aged 5/6 by the way! I just think its so sad

[kittywits]

crystaltips, I have felt like a bad mum at times during the hols because I couldn't face rushing about. I know what you mean about other mothers hving everything planned.
Have you ever considered that this might be because they find it harder to be on their own with their children? I know mums who try and keep busy all the time jusy so that they don't have to entertain the kids at home.
You sound like really chilled mum. Being there with and for your kids is the most important thing, not football camp!!

[MrsFio]

you want to try sitting in starbucks with the yummymummy's crytaltips, its torture I tell you

[fatfox]

Mrs Fio - LOL

You know, that's the precise reason that i for one do not frequent Starbucks!!!

ROFL!

[maedhbh]

think there is nothing wrong with sports camps - in ireland too - though perhaps diferent part - but most sports camps are mornings only - if kids likethem think they're great - exercise, sociable occasions etc... hugely disagree with someone who said maybe mothers who dont want time alone with their children send them to camps - hallo??? my son goes cos he wants to, cos his friends are, cos its fun!

[justamum]

my kids aren't old enough for school but someone posted a fab article on here about "benign neglect" i think it was. Basically it was saying that if we do too much structured stuff and don't leave enough time for kids to entertain themselves in an unstructured way then we can do as much harm as good because their imaginations don't develop and they don't develop their own resources which can cause problems educationally once they have to learn to use their own impetus.
i can remember playing wonderful imaginary games and spending most of our holidays in the garden, i think we rarely did much that was structured. but i think my brother, sister and I are mostly ok

[PinkTulips]

you sound like your doing more than enough crystal... kids need to rest for the holidays so they have the energy for another 10 months of structured days and homework. most of these moms are probably just happy to get rid of the kids all day long as they haven't a clue what to do with them!

btw, whereabouts in ireland are you? i'm in galway so always nosey bout other irish MNers!