4.5yo DD -

[Judd]

Please help! DD is 4.5 and will start school in a couple of weeks. I also have DS who is just over 2.
DD has never been great at amusing herself and these holidays I seem to be knocking myself out to provide activities which have to flow seamlessly into each other. If there is a break in continuity (eg. for me to tidy up, make drinks, answer phone) she seems to switch into this default mode of behaviour which is driving me mad, but she seems to think is quite cute! She will summon DS to go upstairs where they will strip her (double) bed right down to the mattress and jump up and down. They will open all her drawers and throw her clothes down the stairs. She will say they are playing "Time for bed" but it's just an excuse to get all her soft toys and throw them into her bed as well....and then jump on it.
I've explained to her why I dislike these activities...but they just happen over and over again. She says "I'm sorry, mummy" but obviously doesn't care one jot.
Today we have alse upped the ante as she has bitten DS really hard on his back whilst I was upstairs and then she tipped a bucket of water out of the bath all over the floor.
I'm frustrated because she is a bright little girl but will only "perform" if she is being played with by me. I've put a halt to the bath antics by removing anything bucket-like (there's a definite FNAR in that sentence, but feel this isn't the time nor the place ) and I also try and warn before leaving them in a room alone together for more than 2 minutes so that they know where I am going and what is expected of them in terms of behaviour. This does seem to help a little.
How can I stop this behaviour? Is it peculiar to her or more commonplace than I think? How do you deal with it? I haven't got a huge arsenal of disciplinary weapons apart from my "cross voice" and sending outside to think about what has been done wrong and then apologising for it...do I need to be doing something more?

Any suggestions would be gratefully received, thank you.

[canadianmum]

Give her some serious consequences to think about. Along the lines of, "if you do X one more time I will take away your favourite doll/toy/whatever for one hour/the rest of the day" and then follow it through. She is old enough and bright enough to understand and she should be able to keep herself amused in a less destructive way while you are busy.

HTH

[canadianmum]

Re: the biting, for a 4.5 year old that would be a very serious warning "do it again and you will be in your bedroom, door closed, by yourself for 10 minutes".

[MamaG]

Would she respond to a naughty corner/step perhaps? I would hope that she is just frustrated and ready for school - bright children often become destructive when they are not stimulated and school can help to calm them down, but you do need to be firm.

If you make a threat, such as "if you do X, you will go in naughty corner" you MUST carry it out.

Good luck!

[julezboo]

my 4.5 yr old ds is the same! Our bathroom has been ruined by him this summer, no matter how many time i send him to his room, remove his toys or tell him off he wont learn! Now if i go into another room I take him with me, i can watch him and make sure he bahaves. My mother says hes just bored and needs etertaining but we all know we cant entertain them all day everyday they do need time by themselves x x Not long now till school, thats what i keep telling myself x x