New sibling - When will the novelty wear off?

[kbaby]

DD is 2.3 yrs and has just had a new brother. She loves him to bits however, she wont leave him alone and from the moment we get up until she goes to bed she is all over him. He keeps crying because hes constantly got her face pressed into his with her calling him 'little cheeky' she keeps leaning on him to constantly kiss him and is basically just obsessed with him.
Its getting tiring as im having to tell her to be gentle, dont lean on him, dont shout in his face etc and also shes getting annoyed because im telling her this all the time.

When will she begin to get used to him and give him some space?

[fluffymum]

umm, never. But it gets easier. No I am kidding but it is usual and I am experiencing similar with my ds (baby now 10months). Involve her with everything , esp. nappy , bath time etc. My ds1 loves running around getting nappies wet wipes etc (give you a bit of space...just a few seconds to organise things!). Still gets rough and now after 10 months I am zero tolerance so any roughness towards baby and DS1 to room for 3 mins. Working. Praise every day for care with DS2. When your baby is older you won't feel so protective, now I can hear DS1 absolutely thrilled to be making baby laugh. I was very worried about ds1 and jealousy so count yourself lucky baby has been so well accepted! Good luck!

[Dunnyjo]

kbaby i am in the exact same possition as you. Ds1 is 2.6 and baby is 14wks. Ds1 is constanly all over him and like you i constantly say "be gentle, dont lean on him, dont shout in his face etc" he then give him a qick hit and runs so i then send him to his bedroom. As for dealing with each day i am sorry i have no clue myself. I tend to put baby to sleep after feed/change/play talking to him. so then i know ds1 cant get to him. I also lay baby in a travel cot with a play gym so ds1 cant get to him when i turn my back.
hth hugs x x

[kbaby]

oh no 14 weeks! i was hoping it would be a 4 weeker type of thing.
i am now having to put him to sleep upstairs behind a stair gate. Today she hit him across the head because he was on my lap and she was leaning on him with her head pressed against his and I asked her to lift her head.
Its tiring having to juggle him and her on my lap at the same time and if hes awake make sure she isnt secretly poking him.

[Dunnyjo]

I know it is awful, i thought things were calming down until last night at dinner time. We were all sat at the table and baby was in his swing chair by the table and was a bit grizzly making noises and before i knew it something flew past the corner of my eye, looked at baby and he had ds folk on his arm! It did not get his face but by god it could have done! Sent ds to his room. I was fuming! Now this morning thinking about it i did not see ds do it to see if it was intentional or not. But even so i went to bed feeling absolutley awaful because it was so dangerous and the worst could have happened
Sorry i am not trying to make it all sound bad and no hope but i am putting last nights episode down as a one off thing

[kittywits]

This is what happens with older sibs!! 2 year olds are especially difficult. There is always a very fine line with them between showing affection and becoming aggessive a in flash.
My 2 year old still presses her face against the baby's just that bit too hard and squeezes just a bit too tightly ( amounst many other misdemeanours).
It is very distressing to see your vunerable baby being hurt and becoming distressed. In my experience, you have to watch the older child like hawk until the relationship begins to settle down and the baby becomes alot more physically robust.
when a new baby comes along, everyone has to shift over a bit and learn about their new roles.
It's important to show the older child they are doing wrong but getting too furious can backfire as the child can quickly realise it's way of getting your attention at at time when they feel the baby has yaken it away. So, I would suggest lots of positives too and try and find ways of praising your child for things completely unrelated to the new sib. Good luck.

[BettySpaghetti]

Would it help if your DD had a life-like baby doll to "look after" alongside you looking after the real baby?
If the doll has a cot, nappies, clothes etc she can play at being Mum

[pointydog]

It is tough, kbaby. Dd2 spent most of her early months in her rocking car seat so that I could always have her beside me if I was washing dishes, going to the loo, etc as I just couldn't trust 2 yr old dd1 on her own with the baby. And dd1 was not at all intentionally nasty, just all that squeezing, poking, bear hug stuff.

It does gradually improve but I remember doing all the usual stuff to amuse dd1 and none of the baby play stuff with dd2. Dd1 used to say, "put she in she car seat!" and dd2 ended up hidden in a corner of the room!

However, the 'neglect' did her no harm whatsoever - she enjoyed watching her sister. And when dd2 was big enough to scratch and bite, I whispered 'go on yoursel' to myself.

[damewashalot]

When I had ds2 Iused the travel cot as a safe ish place to pop him if I left the room it then became a playpen when he got mobile keep stuff safe from him
Now I have to keep an eye on him with ds3 as face would always be in his etc and can be rough is getting better but baby is 5mths old. I just tell my self iy's better to be too loving than hate him and tried very hard to distract rather than get cross early on, hard I know. Haven''t used travel cot yet this time as ds2 would just climb in it with the baby