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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

oh no! he's wondering about sex!

16 replies

scotchick · 16/08/2006 19:27

Must tell you this. My ds (7) came up to me the other day and asked out of the blue if I had sex with daddy more or less than 4 or 5 times a year! When I casually answered, more, he then asked how many times. I said quite a lot, and he then said, what is sex. LUCKILY, his brother came up at that point and he was distracted. However, two days ago we were playing scrabble, I went into the kitchen, and he followed a couple of minutes later. He had the letters, x, e, a. He said he had the letters 's and e' on the board and wondered what letters to use to finish the word! I said 'what about 'a' to make 'sea' and he said 'not 'x' then?' I said no, I quite liked 'a' because I liked the sea and he said 'I think I'll take x to make sex'!!!! Aaaagh! He's bound to ask what it is, what do I say? The truth? Surely not!!!!!

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sparklemagic · 16/08/2006 19:30

the truth! why not?

ScummyMummy · 16/08/2006 19:31

I've gone with the truth with my 7 year old twins, who are fascinated. Even though they go all silly and giggly which can be irritating I think they need to know. Have you got Mummy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole? Very good, funny introduction to the truth to to give you a start.

scotchick · 16/08/2006 19:32

I've heard of that book, scummymummy, must invest. I'm not phased by him knowing the truth really, it's just using 'those words'. He'll be screaming them from the garden!

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ScummyMummy · 16/08/2006 19:35

God- mine are incorrigible for that. Every second word is excrement or sex related accompanied by floods of giggles. Gets on my wick a treat as they find it so funny that they can't/won't/don't shut up until I get tough and shouty. Grrrrr.

pointydog · 16/08/2006 19:44

I would tell him the truth, I have done with mine. Just the mechanics of it all really, as that was obviously what they were curious about, said in a fairly low key way as if talking about what to get at the supermarket. (It could be said those two things have a lot in common!)

scotchick · 16/08/2006 19:57

I do think if I tell him the truth, he'll probably be totally uninterested, and probably say 'gross' before going off to play doctor who with his friends......Still, I am dreading it. He's becoming more aware definitely, was quite taken with my avon catalogue, women in their underwear...hmmmm........

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glassofwine · 16/08/2006 20:04

Tell them the truth in a minimal sort of way. I've found the best way to answer each question honestly, but don't give loads of detail ie. DD1 asked how the baby came out when DS1 was born, she was 3 - I told her, she just accepted it. Somewhere along the line she asked how it got there and I said that the Mummy's egg and Daddy's seed came together. Recently, she's almost 7, she told her sister, aged 4 in my hearing that the egg and seed get together because the Mummy's fanny and Daddy's willy connected.

I'm happy with that, they don't need loads of explanation and there's plenty of time to go into the details as they get older.

scotchick · 16/08/2006 20:30

the idea that he might actually say the word 'fanny' fills me with dread....

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glassofwine · 16/08/2006 21:04

I can't stop my DD's saying it - they think its v funny, so when DS is a bit older (3 1/2) girls stuff will all be normal I guess.

TinyGang · 16/08/2006 21:05

You've got a smart boy there though scotchick. Wouldn't he have got a higher scrabble score using the 'x' instead of the 'a'?!.

Seriously though - I just answer the questions that get asked honestly and don't get into too much complicated er..detail. Mine are younger and usually pick the middle of Asda to loudly ask what's what

elliepupp · 16/08/2006 21:20

OK, this from a medical household. When younger son was 5 and we were running late from school on a Monday morning, I yelled up the stairs for him to hurry up and get dressed.As is the custom with my boys they have ripped any pyjamas off as soon as they were able. Younger son shouted excitedly from top of stairs, 'Mum, mum - come and look at this!' Looking up the stairs he said 'It's just great, I can come downstairs with my hands held out like this (outstreched empty hands) and still carry my socks!' Attaboy!!

Trippitaka · 16/08/2006 21:50

Oh, the truth, without doubt. You don't have to go into huge detail, but if he's asking the questions, you should answer (within his ability to understand), I reckon.

liquidclocks · 16/08/2006 22:49

Definitely the truth at age 7, not in detail but enough so he's not confused. There's a great book called 'the body book' that presents 'procreation' as just another bodily function alongside the digestive system, growing etc - it totally de-mystifies it and because it's presented alongside topics like that it's interesting but not rude or silly. It'll be a good learning resource for when he learns biology at school too

liquidclocks · 16/08/2006 22:58

(it's by claire rayner)

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 16/08/2006 23:02

you're just showing off that you do it more than 4 or 5 times a year

scotchick · 17/08/2006 10:49

yes, I think we just about manage more than that!

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