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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

how to get my 8 wks old into a routine?

46 replies

shazzaronnie · 11/08/2006 02:21

any tips on getting my dd into a routine i'm a first time mum and are finding it hard to go out or do things at home with her. i'm always up at night so sleep during the day and just want to get her in routine with me?

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Ags · 11/08/2006 02:48

BF or Bottle. Just asking as I think it will make a difference to the advice you need. Let us know.

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shazzaronnie · 11/08/2006 02:56

well kinda both?

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Ags · 11/08/2006 03:01

What times is she feeding/sleeping at the moment and what age is she? Sorry so many questions but just trying to get the picture.

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shazzaronnie · 11/08/2006 03:09

shes 8 wks sat, feeds around every 4 hoursand sleeps as and when so days sleeps alot and others awake alot. more awake like now which means i'm asleep durin the day and get nothin done?

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Ags · 11/08/2006 03:27

Here are two threads with sleep issues for babies of similar age to yours. Hope they help.

here

here

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SittingBull · 11/08/2006 05:03

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NedKelly1978 · 11/08/2006 06:58

don't do it!

Please don't worry about routines yet! It is hard in the first few weeks, but they soon find their way. The best thing to do is to work with her, go along with the four hourly thing if that is what is workign for her, and soon you will find that she finds a routine, and you can sleep when she sleeps and you will both be happier. Trying to put a young baby into a routine is hard work, and may put stress on both of you. Plus they change so much at that age, it is easier to go with the flow. Don't worry about getting other things done, they can wait, it will pass far quicker than you think.

I have four, including twins and they do find their own way. By 3/4 months things will settle and they gradually sleep longer at night. The best things to do are gently teach them the difference between night and day. Get her dressed or change her clothes during the day. At night keep the room dark and quiet, and be as boring as possible so she realises mum is much more fun during the day! I never take a baby out of the bedroom during the day, I jsut fed them in bed then hushed and cuddled til they went back to sleep.

The early weeks are exhausting, but it will get better soon.

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JennT · 11/08/2006 07:49

There is nothing wrong with doing the same thing every night. Bath feed bed. That's a routine.

Doing all night time things in the dark with not much not much talking, and day time things normally. They get the hang of it eventually.

I agree with Ned Kelly though.

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shazzaronnie · 11/08/2006 12:13

i just want theearly mornings to stop so we can get some sleep i bath feed and change her ready for bed but no she'll stay up till 6 am. i haven't seen that book no? but will llok?

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Waswondering · 11/08/2006 12:19

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dizzybint · 11/08/2006 14:26

my dd is nearly 12 weeks. i found that the best thing in those early weeks was to just get to know my baby, read her cues and follow her lead, far less stressfull. by doing this i've learned from her when she gets tired, how much awake time she needs, when she needs a feed, how often to change her nappy, when to get her ready for bed etc etc. we've fallen into a very loose routine this way.

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ilovedolly · 11/08/2006 23:47

I would deffo recommend the EASY method (as below) which isn't really a strict routine as such but is really useful for learning cues - to pick up on sleepiness and hunger well before the crying stage helps loads.
I found it helped both of us to get a bit of fresh air in the afternoon and bonus being dd would sleep in her pram while I picked up some food/admired windows of shops.

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shazzaronnie · 12/08/2006 00:03

dizzy! how did u know what she wanted and when though?

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dizzybint · 13/08/2006 18:30

trial and error, that's what the first few weeks are about. a really good book is 'the social baby' by murray and andrews. but over time you will be able to do it anyway. you'll find yourself saying to other people, oh i think she's hungry now, or she usually gets sleepy by about now. remember your baby is just a new person you're gettin to know, same as maybe a new work colleague..kind of !!

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clairemow · 13/08/2006 18:45

another thing I realised about DS was that until he was 3/4 months old, he couldn't stay awake for more than 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time, and if I tried to keep him up longer, he would get really over tired, and then not be able to go to sleep, so I'd end up with v. v. cranky baby and knackered me...

I found the bedtime "routine" really helpful to try and teach DS the difference between night and day - bath, milk, bed all in dim lights at the same time every day. Once that fell into place, the rest of the day seemed to fall in too.

But 8 weeks is still v. v. early, and you may find it all goes brilliantly one day and is a disaster the next - DON'T GET STRESSED by it, just try and enjoy.

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ProfessorGrammaticus · 13/08/2006 18:53

"Waswondering" summed up exactly what I did - and both mine slept 12 hrs regularly 7-7 from 12 weeks. Honestly.

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littlepiggie · 13/08/2006 19:29

A bf baby will not sleep through with out wanting a couple of feeds, even if you have a good routine, it can still all go up the wall at this age.
I agree with lots af activity and feeds in the day, and dark and quiet at night.
It worked with ds, and even though up anything up to 4 times a night, he goes down at night between 7+8 and then up betweek 7+8

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nicky1975 · 13/08/2006 19:37

Where is she sleeping in day? If in her room she will confuse it with night. I had both of mine in a moses basket in living room and if they slept then life carried on as normal. Hoovering, washing you name it. Have a nap in her room once a day to give her quality sleep but use your other rooms too. The day/night difference will come and stick to your night routine

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liquidclocks · 13/08/2006 19:50

It is too early to get stressed about it but I understand how much you must want to get it sorted right now - I was like that at around the same time. The best thing you can do is make sure she's getting most of her food during the day, not getting overtired (if she's been awake for more than 2 hrs she needs a nap) and learns the 'right' sleep associations. For our DS blackout blinds were invaluable. Do read thebaby whisperer, I didn't use that one exactly, I'm not allowed to tell you which one I did use (I'm sure you can guess though) but only loosely, not right to the letter - it worked for us but not for everyone.

The most important thing I learned with DS was that I was allowed to wake him up - even though I was told over and over that it was cruel to wake a sleeping baby.

They do eventually get the hang of it and all this will seem like a blur - promise!

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aitch71ababe · 13/08/2006 19:59

agree with the others, the two hour 'rule' is golden. in fact, my dd is now 8 months old and i still find that more than 2 hours of activity leaves her over-tired. even if she doesn't sleep, you two can try to have some quiet time together.

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Alexandersmummy · 13/08/2006 20:40

Don't worry too much about etting into a routine, I'm a first time mum to DS who is now 10 months and it does take a while. I found sticking to bath, feed, bed at the same time every night helped and although it took him a while he did soon cotton on to what was happening and now he's ready to go to bed at the same time and understands it. Also at night keep the lights down even if your feeding them at 4 in the morning and you can't see what your doing, it does help.
During the day keep your dd downstairs and carry on as normal when she falls asleep, don't creap around her on tip toes as this makes lfe harder later on.
Try not to stress about it all though, when my ds was 8 weeks I was happy if I got dressed and washed by noon!

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clairemow · 14/08/2006 09:32

def agree with liquidclocks - the two hour thing for naps, get as many feeds as you can in during the day, and don't worry about waking dd up if she hasn't fed for say 3-4 hours. I don't think that's cruel either.

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LaDiDaDi · 14/08/2006 10:37

I was a totally no routine person but I've started to introduce a bedtime routine and dd loves it.

I agree with the others about bath, feed, cuddle, bed at about the same time each evening. We put dd in her moses basket but keep her downstairs with us in a dim corner with a blanket lying over the top of the basket (but not on top of her). We start bathtime at 7ish and I aim to have her asleep by 8.30 as I like to give her plenty of time to wind down and cuddle to sleep after the feed. We then wake her up before we go to bed, so 11-midnight depending, and change her nappy and give her another feed. We do this in dim light and try not to make a fuss of her. tbh she usually barely wakes up. Then it's back in the moses basket and upstairs to bed. She usually then sleeps to 5-6am when she wants fed again. I'm doing the waking for a feed late at night as I hope that this will mean she will soon drop the 5-6am feed and sleep til 8ish.

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mabel1973 · 14/08/2006 10:41

I agree with Claire, liquid and waswondering - it is important to get them to take most of their feeds during the day, I fed DS every 2.5 to 3 hours at that age and he was sleeping through at 9 weeks old. As claire says don't be afraid to wake her up for a feeds if it's due.
Also as everyone says a good bedtiime routine is key.
Don't feel bad about wanting to get in to routine and get your life back on track, it's nice if you can let your baby take the lead, but if it means you aren't leaving the house or getting basic things done, then that means it's not working and she just needs a bit of guidance from you.
Good luck.

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jacsmum · 14/08/2006 10:48

I agree that you should feed her every 3 hours or so in the day, and she'll work out the difference between day and night in the end. 8 weeks is very early and you inevitably feel that it's all difficult, even completely unmanageable. Babies are much much easier from about 4 months on. Try not to worry about sleeping in the day and not getting things done - it's such a luxury to be able to do that when you only have one child so no school run to worry about etc.