naughty step help!!!

[Kelly1978]

the dts (16mnths) have been driving me up the wall, so we're trying the naughty step. Never used it with the older two, dd we never heard of it, ds didn't care less, and would happily have sat on it all day.

dt1 has the idea of it perfectly, sits there, clams down then is allowed off, but he is jsut getting worse. It's been about a week now. He has been having tantrums all the time, every time somethign doesn't suit him. He jsut seems to be getting angrier and angrier though, and I don 't knwo how to deal with him. I'm not terribly patient as it is, and I'm getting really wound up by it.

dt2 doesn't really get it yet, but he isn't doing the temper tantrum thing anyway, his main naughtiness is repeatedly touching things. He understands perfectly that he isn't allowed to touch something but is rather crafty about going for things when I am not looking.

He also gets a bit worried when dt1 is on the step howling and tries to sit next to him! I also have the problem if dt1 is already on it, then there is nowhere to put dt2!

[Maddison]

Do you use the stairs for them to sit on for time out? With DS1 I used a naughty chair which I put in a corner facing the wall and ignored him until he calmed down and this worked quite well for a while, when it stopped working I put said chair into my bedroom (no toys to play with!) and again that worked. I don't have any experience of twins tho, my only suggestion is that you play with the 'good twin' making sure the one on the naughty chair/step can hear, this might make the 'naughty twin' want the positive attention from you. I would try to keep the 'good twin' from going to comfort his brother while on the step, otherwise he may see this as getting attention.

Sorry if you're doing this already, but I honestly can't think of anything else and didn't want your post to go unanswered, hopefully someone with some experience will come along soon.

[mazzystar]

i feel unqualified to comment, having only one ds, but imho i think naughty step concept is better used only in extreme situations and with older children. could you try ignoring without the physical removal? and lavishing the praise for positive behaviour?

[Kelly1978]

i have tried ignoring him, and it is driving me up the wall and making no difference to him! The naughty step actaully helps us both, as he does clam down eventually on there and it stops him screaming in my face winding me up! But the tantrums are increasing still. He has a real temper on him.
I do try keeping dt2 away, though he doesn't understand and gets all worried. I really feel sorry for him, because he doesn't understand it.
I make a fuss of him then dt1 gets more and more furious and I end up feeling as if I am rubbing it in his face, iykwim. If I were to put either of mine on a chair, they wud hurt themsleves.

[jambot]

Try bean bag, different coloured carpet squares, instead of chair.
I would have thought it too early to implement the 'naughty corner' technique. Didn't see SN use it till about 2.5 years. My DD is also 16 months. IF she's stropping I say a firm NO, remove her some distance away from the dispute and then ignore her behaviour. Going to leave the 'naughty step' until I know she can understand when I explain the whys and wherefores to her.

[Kelly1978]

I do agree that it is early, but he does understand he has to sit there until he stops screaming, and that's enough for now. I need to help him control his temper, and atm this is all I have! Ignoring him jsut makes him angrier. He is throwing himself around and I'm worried he is going to graduate to head banging or breath holding. Diff coloured carpet squares is a very good idea.

[jambot]

If you think he understands the concept and it's working, go for it.