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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

I had to organise a search this morning to find my missing child....

59 replies

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 12:59

we found her...eventually....but I have never, in my life, had such a fright

ds has footie on a Sat morning - he played and we saw a family friend on the other side of the field (lovely recreation grounds that back onto the river). Dd (5) said she wanted to see the boats (end of the field is fenced so the river can't be accessed) so while I went over and said hello, I told her to wait by a tree where I could see her. She was about 20-30 foot from where I was standing. I said hello (took a few mins), could still see her but when I turned around again, she had gone .

I didn't panic and thought she could have been round the other side but when I got closer, I could see she wasn't there. Ran down to the end of the field/river (full of trees) - couldn't see her. Was starting to panic, ds was in tears - even though there are trees, you can see for miles and it was clear there was no child there. Another family came up and tried to help me but by now, she had been gone for 5-10 minutes. A whole group of people came to help and someone suggested calling the lifeboats just in case she had managed to scale the fence and had fallen in the river . I didn't call (because in my mind, there's no way she could have managed it but you start to doubt everything you ever knew) and then thought, where would she have gone (she is norm so sensible). So I headed back to the car - quite a walk and along a busy road with no pavement . Thought if she is not there, I will have to call the police and RNLI.

As I was walking towards the car, a mum from school came towards me with her. Dd had been cowering by our car and watching which adults came past and when she recognised this woman, had jumped out screaming mummy .

She had lost sight of us when standing by the tree and thought we must have gone without her. She managed to get to the road (she would have had to walk through a busy car park from where she had been) and once on the road, she couldn't be seen (because there's a line of bushes between the road/field). It was quite a walk for her. She must have walked through the car park while ds and I had run in the opposite direction (towards the river - I think you run towards the 'worst case scenario').

I still can't quite believe it. She is the most sensible child normally and is used to waiting around and playing where I can see her while ds is playing football. Most of all, I am so relieved - when I stood by the river and could see for miles and couldn't see her, I thought I would never see her again.

OP posts:

Report

colditz · 15/07/2006 13:00

Have a bigdrink tonight FIS!

hub2dee · 15/07/2006 13:02

Blimey. The heart beats faster just reading your text. Glad you've got her firmly in your arms now !

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 13:02

yes think I deserve one!

I was so shaky when I got back, I couldn't parallel park the car so had to park 3 or 4 streets away where I found a parking I could drive into!!

OP posts:

eldestgirl · 15/07/2006 13:02

You poor thing! My heart has speeded up just thinking about the awful stress of a missing child. Have you had a big cup of sweet tea or something?

Carmenere · 15/07/2006 13:04

Poor you! And thank God she's ok!

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 13:04

yes thanks everyone.

We all had a sugar lump when we got back home.

Weidly, all I could think about while I was trying to parallel park the car (several tearful attempts) is that if someone like hub came out to watch me parking (re another thread where he watched some old person bash his car!), I'd probably end up decking them one!

OP posts:

SherlockLGJ · 15/07/2006 13:05

I just filled up reading that.

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 13:07

she was gone for 20 minutes in total - and has not left my lap since we got home (a few hours ago!)

OP posts:

PandaG · 15/07/2006 13:07

Glad she is safe, poor you. I reckon you need a stiff G and T later.

hub2dee · 15/07/2006 13:14

pmsl @ you thinking about me / your parking / that thread at a time like this !

Am sure you will feel infintely calmer v. v. soon and your parking will be outstanding.

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 13:24

thanks hub, I'm starting to feel a bit better already.

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 15/07/2006 13:24

Oh, FIS

Just...oh!

I'm so happy you have her on your lap now

blueshoes · 15/07/2006 13:25

Big hugs for you and dd, fox

foxinsocks · 15/07/2006 13:30

thanks everyone - feel better now and luckily ds has a party this afternoon so I'll get a bit of 'dd and me' time!

(those poor parents whose children never turn up - I felt pure terror for only 20 mins, goodness knows how you manage for any proper length of time)

OP posts:

Enid · 15/07/2006 14:44

and foxy

a milder version of this happened to me with dd1 once

horrible horrible feeling

MrsAnthonyKiedis · 15/07/2006 15:02

Oh my word, just reading that has made me feel panicky. Hope you are both recovering from your nasty shock with lots of cuddles together xxx

WideWebWitch · 15/07/2006 15:11

Bloody hell, poor you and her, I'm glad she's ok. There was an article in The Observer (iirc) recently abotu a mother who got separated temporarily from her child in Hyde Park and it desribed that terrifying feeling very well. I know that blood running cold feeling you must have had, poor you.

SleepyJess · 15/07/2006 15:21

Oh God how awful Fox. So glad she is ok. I 'lost' my DD (then nearly 7) last year for over 5 mins.. but it felt like an hour.. on a crowded steet during a festival in our town. I thought she was behind me as I stood at a cashpoint... I was even talking 'to her'. When I turned round she had gone (she had carried on walking; didn't realise I had stopped!).

I can remember the terror. I ended up screaming "Jessica! JESSICA!" with real genuine horror in my voice and visions of calling DH to tell him I'd lost her.. and the police! Everyone around me was shouting "what does she look like??! How tall is she?' etc.

Suddenly I heard her shouting 'Mummy!' from just down the road. She had got to the corner and waited. (She wasn't even upset.) I didn't let go of her hand for the rest of the day!!

Sorry for going on about my experience.. it was only short compared to your horrific 20.. but wanted to tell you I know what it feels like.

(((hugs)))

SJ x

magnolia1 · 15/07/2006 15:23

Awwww hun what a thing to go through

Dd4 once got out of her pushchair (straps were on tight!!) while I was dropping twins at school. Luckily their lassroom was in the heart of the school and not near a road etc... She was found 10 mins later in a classroom.
She was only 2 at the time and I was in such a state of panic

Bet your dd has loads of cuddles today

SleepyJess · 15/07/2006 15:25

They are so indescribably precious aren't they? No wonder we struggle with giving them their freedom when they're older...

tribpot · 15/07/2006 15:25

God fox, you poor thing. Thank goodness dd is okay.

edam · 15/07/2006 15:26

That sends shivers down my spine. Thank the Lord it was OK in the end. Poor dd, ds and you.

Mercy · 15/07/2006 15:52

Poor you and dd

I've lost sight of both of mine for a couple of minutes and was on the verge of fainting, so god knows how you felt. Must admit, like Sherlock, your story brought tears to my eyes.

It really is every parents' worst nightmare.

hub2dee · 15/07/2006 16:32

Has anyone ever investigated those 'kiddy tracker' type devices either as an 'I think that product is a good idea' or 'I got one because I once lost the lo for x minutes and it was horrible' ?

DumbledoresGirl · 15/07/2006 16:40

I am sorry to say I have lost ds3 more times than I can remember, usually around the school playground though, but even so, I have had several scary moments with him.

The worst ever moment for me though was when we lost ds1, then aged about 2 and a half in Milton Keynes shopping centre (vast, for those who doen't know it) on a nose to tail shopping day one New Year. We had public announcements for him and he was eventually brought to us by a security guard.

It is the most horrid moment when you realise they are not there, isn't it?

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