What age can you

(25 Posts)
BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 01-Dec-13 12:34:16

1. Expect a child to wipe their own bum after a poo (boy so no wee-wiping required)

2. Leave them alone in the bath?

DS is 5 and 2 months and DP has questioned when we're going to start letting him do these things blush I must admit I've just sort of carried on doing it because I didn't really think about when you were supposed to stop. I do now leave him for a few seconds at a time in the bath e.g. to get a towel from another room, he makes enough noise that I'd notice if he suddenly went quiet and we live in a tiny flat.

Bum-wiping DP suggested that we get him to try and then finish off whatever he's missed, I fully intended to try that last time he did a poo, but then his poo is still quite often pretty sloppy so I have horrible visions of him getting it everywhere and I wimped out and let him have a go when I'd done the worst of it. But perhaps that's par for the course and just a (fun!) stage you have to go through?! He doesn't eat much fibre, his diet basically consists of meat, fruit/veg and some sweets with a bit of bread.

georgedawes Sun 01-Dec-13 12:37:10

Bum wiping, think they should try as soon as potty trained, else how can they learn? You're not there at school to wipe him!

Probably wouldn't leave a 5 yr old in the bath though.

duchesse Sun 01-Dec-13 12:37:47

At 5 I would definitely he could do both on his own, barring SN! Surely if he does a poo at school he has to wipe his own behind? Yes, it may be messier than you'd like but how else is he going to learn how to do than by doing it himself?

DD3 is just 4 and I've been able to leave her alone in the bath for a few minutes for ages. Luckily I have teenagers usually lolling around in their rooms so I ask them to keep an ear on her in the bath while go downstairs with a load of washing for example.

SteamWisher Sun 01-Dec-13 13:09:32

Why do you need to leave him in the bath? Is it that urgent? I wouldn't.

Bum wiping - my ds waa shown by us and preschool. I'd also look at your DS's diet as it doesn't sound great.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 01-Dec-13 14:05:29

I don't need to leave him in the bath, I just wondered when you could. My mum used to stay until I was embarrassingly old so I don't know what's normal.

He never does a poo at school so it's not come up there. He still won't do one unless he's at home. Hence it hasn't come up.

Diet, yes, but he won't eat potatoes, rice, couscous or pasta so not sure of a way around that one. I'm sure he will when he's ready.

SteamWisher Sun 01-Dec-13 18:15:31

I'd have a chat with a dietician about the lack of carbs - maybe your HV can put you in touch with one?

ZuleikaD Sun 01-Dec-13 18:26:22

Blimey, I leave 4yo dd in the bath all the time. She wipes herself at school but still likes it done for her at home to be sure she's clean.

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 01-Dec-13 18:28:10

Really surprised wouldn't leave a 4 year old in the bath

Only1scoop Sun 01-Dec-13 18:31:33

Dd 3 does a good wiping job herself showed her how to when we toilet trained.
I wouldn't leave a five year old in bath....( maybe room next door if chatting to them)

ZuleikaD Sun 01-Dec-13 18:37:19

I leave my 3yo in the bath too. There's a mat so he can't slip and I'm usually chatting to him as well.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 01-Dec-13 20:12:47

Hmm interesting about the difference in bath opinions!

I'm not worried about the carbs at the moment. As I said, I'm sure he'll get there. He probably gets them somehow or other through bread type things.

duchesse Sun 01-Dec-13 20:39:40

If he eats plenty of fruit and veg he doesn't need "white carbs". He may be eating a much healthier diet in fact than most children. People think you need to eat obvious carbs but that's crap- you can get plenty of carbs (of a much better kind) and fibre from fruit and veg.

SteamWisher Sun 01-Dec-13 20:47:59

He's not eating potatoes, rice, couscous or pasta.

He's got sloppy poos.

That's not good.

duchesse Sun 01-Dec-13 20:52:22

Bollocks. Every single one of my children has had sloppy poos. It's a family thing. They all eat everything. His sloppy poos almost certainly have nothing to do with his lack of poor-quality carbohydrates (which my children do eat -alongside other stuff).

BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 01-Dec-13 21:39:44

Thanks duchesse - that's along the lines of what I think too. Actually he will eat a bit of pasta occasionally but tends to pick the bits of other stuff out and eat them. hmm I had thought that white pasta etc isn't much use for nutrition anyway - it just fills you up really.

SteamWisher Sun 01-Dec-13 22:41:52

So sloppy pops are normal...? They're not. If your whole family have this issue it could indicate an underlying common cause. What's the harm in checking? None.

My ds has sloppy poos when he's eating too much dairy. That's not normal. I don't just write it off as such, I check his diet and adjust.

duchesse Sun 01-Dec-13 22:48:19

I'm not just talking about my children, but upwards several generations as well. Adjusting their diet made and makes no difference at all and anyway most of them are young adults now so they eat what the heck they want instant noodles most of the time in DS's case. Our GPs have always been supremely uninterested.

We just get through a lot of toilet paper.

Bigfingers Sun 01-Dec-13 23:22:39

bum-wiping - from about 3.5 onwards DCs wanted to do it themselves, I insisted on checking and sorting if necessary, they usually have done pretty well.

bath - I wander in and out a bit, but don't go downstairs... just maybe put a few things away, put their discarded clothes in the washing basket, etc. But all three of mine are in the bath so one of them would say if there was a prob. I wouldn't leave one on their own for too long, but 5 is not that young...

SteamWisher Mon 02-Dec-13 05:50:23

Doesn't make it normal (although when you say sloppy, I think very runny with no shape)!

ZuleikaD Mon 02-Dec-13 08:28:11

Poos should be soft but not runny.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Mon 02-Dec-13 09:13:36

I didn't say they were runny. By sloppy I meant they have a form but they leave a lot of residue blush I hope there are no poo trolls about sad

ZuleikaD Mon 02-Dec-13 14:15:23

They sound fine. grin

Ferguson Thu 05-Dec-13 21:09:32

I don't think should be left alone in a bath AT ALL. It only takes an inch or two of water to drown in, if they slip and bang head, etc. Or experiment with the taps.

'Risks' are just not worth taking, in the home, crossing roads, or whatever.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Thu 05-Dec-13 21:21:49

But until what age Ferguson? I mean you don't sit in on them in the bath when they're 16, so presumably you have to stop some time.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Thu 05-Dec-13 21:22:38

We have a controllable thermostat so when DS is in the bath it is not hot enough to scald even if he turned it onto full hot.

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