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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Go away bitch!

13 replies

Chandra · 15/07/2006 09:58

How do you deal with a 3 yr old splurting noughty words he can not even understand?

DS just came with this yesterday when a friend was visiting , obviously he doesn't know what does "bitch" means, to start with friend is not a woman.

Obviously picked at the nursery as we don't call each other names and we don't speak English at home. Highly unlikely that nursery staff have used it either so I guess it comes from other child.

I ignored him yeasterday not trying to make a big deal of it, but I would be horrified if he told that phrase to another child or to a member of the staff so I'm going to speak with the nursery. But......... how do I explain a 3 yr old that he is not to use that word without making the word so fascinatingly forbidden?

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colditz · 15/07/2006 10:00

Hmm

Making words forbidden does actually work with my 3 year old, he will castigate anyone using a word that he has been told is a "naughty" word. And he stops saying it, amazingly.

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SherlockLGJ · 15/07/2006 10:01

My DS is the same Colditz.

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Chandra · 15/07/2006 10:04

How do you do you forbid the words? i.e. what you say and in which tone?

I have tried the "we don't use that word here" approach and that just made it more interesting.

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SherlockLGJ · 15/07/2006 10:08

We say that really is not a nice word, and I am surprised and disappointed that a clever boy like you, with so many other words wants to use it.

Then I go and shoot myself, because somewhere along the line, I became a grown up.

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colditz · 15/07/2006 10:57

I say "That is a naughty word and it is not allowed!"

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arfishymeau · 15/07/2006 11:14

Yes, I do too. DD (3) grassed up DP for saying "fart" this morning

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Chandra · 15/07/2006 11:22

I'm not saying that I don't want to forbid the word (that would be just expecting to much of him!) but that I want to find a way to do it that works for him. Unfortunately, falling on him like a pile of bricks is more likely to amuse him than to rectify the situation.

I think that Sherlock's aproach may work, it would give him some food for thought

Thanks

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Chandra · 16/07/2006 01:13

Oh dear!!! it's getting worse, he splurted "FUck you" s several times this afternoon followed by a session of spitting! Is there a new child in nursery???? HE even has hit DH and me today!

He has been bitten repeatedly by another child for almost two years now, last week's bite is still vissible and now we get this.... I'm starting to think whether I should remove him from this nursery, in a way I know DS is attached to some members of the staff, that staff rotation is almost unexistent which gives him a very welcomed continuity but... he even has been playing very agressively with his toys lately.

What do I do?

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handlemecarefully · 16/07/2006 01:22

I'm with Sherlock

..and on your later posts about what to do in general - the starting point is probably a serious chat with the Nursery Manager about these behavioural traits that he is picking up from another child?

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FairyMum · 16/07/2006 01:27

I know our nursery does not accept children swearing and they would be disciplined for it. I think I would also speak to the manager especially as you don't swear at home so could be only place he picked it up. Unfortunately I swear quite a lot and don't have a leg to stand on, but think mummy swearing quite a lot has taken the "cool" out of swearing. I am not advicing to try to out-swear him, but in my case seems to have worked.

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kbaby · 16/07/2006 10:17

hmm.. We have the same problem with a 2.2 year old. Her word is bloody. She keeps saying 'bloody woman'
I know thats shes got this from someone in the family ie dh or grandparents and ive told everyone not to swear but they keep forgetting. I didnt know how to deal with it so ive been telling her its a naughty word and she has to say 'blooming' instead but unfortunetly its not working and she finds bloody even more amusing.

No suggestions sorry but ill be watching this thread also.

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stoppinattwo · 16/07/2006 12:09

I think when they get the swear word in the right context its even worse.

DD said once " your givin me a headache you cheeky Bast**d"

Now i do slip up occasionally infront of the kids but the B word isnt usually one of my words. Had a word with nursery but they promised me that no one would say such a thing. (well ofcourse they would say that) Im sorry but this sentence was far too rehersed and she couldnt have possible heard it anywhere else (she was just 2 at the time!!)
So i told the nursery if she uttered another swear word that i couldnt take the responsibility for then i would remove her from the nursery.

One of the staff later confided in me that after i had left the manager gave them a real roasting and they were warned instant dismissal for bad language.

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Chandra · 16/07/2006 17:14

I will make an appointment to talk to the manager. I know they dont allow swearing or name calling but as they have pointed to us in the past some children bring these expressions from home.

I'm very annoyed and willing to say that if they don't solve the issue we will take him out of the nursery but considering their waiting list is sooooo long I wouldn't be surprised if they told me they don't care...

well... I guess if I know they won't care probably I have just given the answer to myself! sigh*