... ore more to the point, other people disciplining mine.
DS1 (6) was at a birthday party after school today at one of these huge soft play places. The boy whose birthday it was isn't in DS's class and tbh I'm not sure why he was invited - he never mentions his name and I have never spoken to his parents, but, hey, he wanted to go. There were about 15 of them, they had the whole place virtually to themselves and were racing around like small boys do, letting off steam and knocking each other over, coming back to base crying, being comforted and going off again on the rampage - you know the drill.
However toward the end of the party the birthday boy's dad suddenly yelled out "Oi - you lot, you one, two, three, four..." (counting four boys one of whom was my DS) ".. you've been racing around far too much and hitting each other, I want you all to go and sit at that table now and sit still for five minutes. It's not on and I'm not having it." He was shouting loud enough for the whole place to go silent and all the staff to look at each other in amazement.
The four boys all sheepishly went to the table and sat down, looking confused and embarrassed. I'm not sure what had happened, there certainly hadn't been a big fracas, but even if there had been, I think it was totally out of order for this man - who my DS has never even seen before - to start dishing out punishments. I went up to DS and told him to come to me and took him away from the table. I wanted to remonstrate with the loud father but didn't want to embarrass the kids further, so said nothing to him.
Before this both the birthday parents had been strict - telling the kids off when they stood up and walked round the table where the birthday tea was served, telling them they couldn't leave until they'd finished all the food on their plate - stuff you might say to your own child in your own kitchen - but at a 6 year old's birthday party in a neutral location to children you don't even know????
There weren't many parents there apart from me and one other mum - her child was one of the four humiliated too but she did nothing. Perhaps she was too shocked!
Am I being silly for thinking the dad's behaviour was totally OTT and inappropriate? it really upset my DS (not to the point of crying or anything, but he kept referring to 'that nasty man' on the way home). I'm not slack when it comes to discipline at all, but if I felt another person's child was misbehaving at a party and I didn't know him or his parents, the most I would do is have a quiet word and ask him to calm down, unless he was actually causing injury on purpose!
I think the kids were shocked but it seemed to have no discernible effect on their behaviour - they weren't being naughty, just high spirited, as happens at these sort of parties. I don't think there's anything else I can do about it now, other than avoid the family at all costs, but does anyone think his behaviour was acceptable? Would you have said something to him?
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Behaviour/development
Disciplining other people's children
38 replies
Wordsmith · 14/07/2006 22:22
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