Anyone elses child continually ask the same question even when you've said NO?

[Northerner]

Oh please Mummy, please, I'll be good, please x 3054

Even though I've said no lots of times. Have to end up raising my voice to stop him. How can I make him undrestand that no means no.

He is 4 btw.

[ssd]

all the time, it's usually "can we have a treat"............

[mrsbang]

All the time, and mine are older.

Doesn't make any difference, lol, they still do it, even though they know the end result will remain the same.

[Tortington]

think thats just what you have done - no , i said no, no, no didn't i just say no, WHAT OTHER WAY CAN I SAY IT? NO!!

[amber5]

yes yes yes yes,
same thing over nad over, i'll be good, i really want one, blah blah blah
sad thing is i always seem to end up bargaining with him... you can if you do this firstblah blah
what a cop out i am

[stoppinattwo]

Northerner, had to smile when ive read your thread.
this subject is guaranteed to put me in a bad mood, what i mean is DS will constantly find another way to ask the same question until he gets the answer he wants. I can see it coming a mile off.
Q. can so an so come over after school?
A. No were going to Nans
Q do we need to go to Nans?
A. No but we havent seen her for a while so I told he we would call over
Q. If i didnt feel well would we have to go?
A. Look so an so isnt coming over after school we are going to Nans, if your not well then we wont go, but then so an so still isnt coming over.
Q. Mum i dont feel well
A. ok we wont go to Nans
Q. Well if were not going to Nans can so an so come over
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG
At this point i have to end the conversation.

He is such a politician, he now used hypathetical (spelling?)situations,
Q. Mum im not asking for it but what would happen if i did ask if we could go to McDonalds?
A. I would probably say no
Q. Well can we?
A. No
Q. Well when can we?
A. I dont know
Q. Why Cant we
A. Because i just said no
Q. But you only said you would probably say no
A. But I just said no AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH

He's 7 and has gone beyond "I'll be good" to debating every friggin question Cant take a simple No. I do realise that sometimes you have to explain you decisions but sometimes No means no because it does

Sorry to go on but you have all this to look forward to

[Northerner]

Blimey stopinattwo - he will have a career in politics!!!!

[expatinscotland]

Oh yes. And she also goes to the other parent and asks the same question, looking for a Yes.

[stoppinattwo]

I feel like i would have an easier time in the house of commons

[wanderingstar]

I get a lot of this from my 11yo atm. 7.30pm: "Can I have a Kitkat ?"
"no, it's too sugary so late in the day; it'll keep you awake"
"Oh please, x and y had one"
"But that was earlier; you didn't actually want one then, when you were offered it. I'll keep yours aside"
"So you favour them and not me"
"NO I DON'T"
"You do; you never let me have any treats !"
"That's not fair. I'm keeping this Kitkat aside for you. You can have it tomorrow"
"But it's not a treat if I can't have it when I want "
"Arrrghhh"
"Pleeeease let me have the Kitkat "
"No; I've given you a reason. This discussion is over"
"You never listen to me "
Silent aaarghhh and wanderingstar wanders off with increasingly high blood pressure...

[stoppinattwo]

big hugs wanderingstar, i can feel my pressure rising just reading what you've put

Sometimes you just have to pull rank and say
"yes I am a horrible mother"
"no I never listen to you"
"yes i favour absolutely everyone else over you, even the dog"
"Yes you never get to do anything nice"

Oh and yes you can go to your room because otherwise i wont be responsible for my actions

Were not paid to be nice all the time, and our kids are the only people we take all this grief from. The worm does turn now and again

[Maurice]

dd aged 5 does this a lot atm. I try not to get drawn into a discussion as to why I said no, but it's really hard sometimes. I think it was Cod who said the teacher's trick is to respond something like this

1. no
   
2. no
   
3. I am not talking about this anymore (and then just ignore them)
   
   When I remember to use this tip, it does work!

[mrsjaja]

Maurice - im glad it works for someone - it doesnt for me. My dd comes back with -

"if you love me you'd let me"
"why are you always such a horrid mummy"

and the latest (today) was
"If you wont let me then i shall go away from this house forever"

she's 4 btw.

My response to the last one:

"Mummy will just go and pack you a bag sweetie"

Hmmm - maybe i am a nasty mummy

[colditz]

Mine does.

[busybusybee]

DS is 4 and has argued with me continually all weekend

Ill be applying for my place in the looney bin tommorrow!

[Highlander]

my response to DS (22 mo) is:

DS: 'car keys, daddy's car keys, peeeeeeeeeeeeese mummy' (big, winning smile)

Me: 'No, no car keys today'.

DS: 'car keys, peeeeeese mummy' (wobbly lip)

Me: No.

DS: mini or full-blown tantrum.

Me: silence. I've said my piece, no debating. Walk away and continue what I was doing. Refuse to acknowlege DS until he stops whinging.

Bit harsh, but works a treat.

[poppyflower]

Is this a serious question???????

[Mercy]

Erm, yes. Why shouldn't it be??

(was Maurice)

[poppyflower]

'cos all children do this all the time!!!

[Mercy]

True. But some of us don't know how to deal with it and some children are more persistent than others.

We are empathising

mrs.jaja - I should have said it sometimesworks!

[auntyquated]

this one works too

ME "it doesn't matter how many times you ask the answer is no and that is not going to change"

[Mercy]

Auntyquated, that's sounds good too!

So when your child says things as per mrsjaja's (my dd tries the emotional blackmail thing too) what's the best response?

(I have been tempted to say 'well bloody well go then, see if I care!')

[mousiemousie]

I say that if you keep asking I will discipline you ie not let you do something you want to do later on

This works well for my 6 year old, may also work for a 4 year old?

[poppyflower]

You can just ignore remaining questions, buy some ear plugs or switch or your mp3!

[mrsjaja]

mercy - i realised that. I just wish i was lucky enough to be one of those it works for!!!lol

all week i have been "horrible mummy" whilst dh has been "my special daddy" ergh....(pass me a vomit bowl).

Whilst i am mature ebough to know the words have no meaning to her really (hmm i hope not) it does still rankle that horrible mummy does most of the hard work, and wonderful sun-shines out of his you know where daddy gets all the love and hugs....[sigh].

Still, all change again over the w/end i expect......