4 year old DS - will not eat his meals!!

[crazydazy]

A year ago DS was a brilliant eater, he used to attend day nursery and was given hot meals and so he would eat almost anything. Since he has started the school nursery (where he takes a packed lunch) he has become very fussy and will not eat anything, he used to love korma and spag bog for instance and he won't touch them, all he will eat is fish bleedin fingers!!

So tonight I made them for him and he wouldn't even eat those.

Is this just a behaviour thing? He is very heavy and I know he's getting goodness somewhere but am so worried as this has been going on for about a month now - he won't even eat tomato soup which he used to love.

He starts school in september and is going to have school dinners - am just worried that he's never going to eat anything and I won't be there to see if he does.

[Tommy]

If it's any help, my 4 year old is just like this.
No idea what to do about it but at least you're not alone
(he'll probably be fine at school if he's eaten well before - my DS1 hasn't eaten what I would call a "proper" hot meal since before his first birthday..... he's taking a packed lunch with him in September!)

[Beauregard]

Dont let him see that it bothers you and keep offering a variety,i think most kids go through a bit of a faddy phase.

[Tortington]

he will eat if he's hungry - just make sure you dont give him somethign " becuase he didn't eat his tea"

its a power thing.

apart fromt he attention - ow fab is it getting bits of stuff to eat instead of sitting down for a meal. banana, crisp, yoghurt, mmmmmmm much better than sitting for a meal and oh mum will get them for me and mum will give me attention.


make his tea - the sameas what everyone else is eating. if he doesnt like it - then he will eat breakfast becuase he will be hungry.

you just need to put your foot down and take control back. but dont show emotion just take plate away. dont make a thing out of it - or the power and the attention still lies with him.

so just tak the food away and present him with breakfast.

i have a fussy eater. if he could he would just eat shit. he eats what the rest of us eat. only he does it slower and doesn't eat as much. and thats fine

[wannaBe1974]

be strong and don't pander to his fussy eating. If you're giving him things that he's had before then you know that he has no problems eating them. Put his plate on the table, if he eats it great, if he doesn't, there won't be anything else. He won't starve himself, he will learn that if he doesn't eat what he is given then he will go hungry. Don't turn the dinner table into a battle ground though, be very calm, if he says he doesn't want to eat sy fine, take the plate away and throw the food out. It won't take long for him to realize that he's not going to get anywhere by being picky. Limit snacks to healthy ones - fruit instead of chocolate/crisps/biscuit. Also can you involve him in the preparation process - can you make pizzas together maybe? or something similar?

[glassofwine]

DS is a fussy eater, but always has been. He used to gag when he ate veg at about 18month, because DH empathised and didn't eat veg at all as I child I let him get away with it, which isn't really like me. Then my Mum had him one weekend and refused to let him have pud until he ate his veg, he wouldn't eat it so she calmly said ok you can leave the table, but left his plate there. When he saw his sisters eating yummy pud he asked for some and DM said he could if he got back up and finished his food, which by now was stone cold. Well, just to make me look completely useless he got back up ate the whole cold meal and then was giving his pud.

It taught me a lesson not least to not always think that DM is interfering. So now that's the method I use, I don't cajole or fuss, just say ok you don't have to eat it, most of the time he will or comes back when he see's pud. Occasionally he doesn't and then, sorry he's hungry and doesn't get anything else - he's not malnourished trust me.

Its hard, but try to stay calm, you'll have cracked it before \Sept.

[wannaBe1974]

wow, wish my mother was like that. her view is that it's better they eat something than eat nothing. When ds went to bed hungry when he was about two she accused me of treating him like a dog.

[glassofwine]

Well, that'll show me for being smug about DS's eating. He made a jam tart at nursery this morning, which I said he could have after lunch. He didn't want to eat his lunch and so I said that was ok, but no jam tart so winge, winge etc eventually decided to leave table. I have just caught him leaving his bedroom with jam and pastry stuck around his mouth! Have just had to try my hardest not to laugh.

[crazydazy]

Lol glassofwine - could imagine DS doing something like that too!!!!

Wow - some great advice on here, thanks . Yes we do make a big fuss about it and he does always end up eating a little if he thinks he's going to miss afters.

Also what he does is fill up on his chocolate milk which he has for supper, he usually has two full cups before bed so thats probably why he is so sturdy because of his milk.

Yes I will have to tell DP to ignore him because he can get quite ratty with him at times over it (DP worries when they don't eat properly ). Thinking about it I remember DD being like this (she is now 6) and now she's a lovely little eater.