Negative 12 month check with Dr at health centre

[Reece]

Took DS2 for 12mth developmental checkup. Ds is 16mths old!!! Thats how far behind checks are.
Anyway - she placed 3 tiny screwed up pieces of paper in front of him on the table and wanted him to pick them up with his pincer grip (thumb and index finger). He grabbed 1 with his fist and the Dr said it was a concern. When I asked her why she said that the test is a test of intelligence!!!??? Is she trying to say DS is thick!!!??? I was soooooo annoyed. He picks up using pincer grip all the tme at home but that was not good enough for her.

Anyone else had similar experiences?

[beansprout]

I didn't even have a 12/16 month check for ds. Please don't take anything from it other than the fact that you have a fairly anal GP who thinks this stuff is important. It isn't.

[CADS]

I'd be tempted to ignore her if he does it at home. Just keep an eye on it.

DS never does things doc/hvs/etc want him to do. It's like he thinks we are treating him like a performing monkey.

See what other say.

[stoppinattwo]

wouldnt worry Reece, some people think children fit into boxes and somtimes the children dont want to play.

Tell the doctor hes lucky he didnt get the * paper shoved down his/her throat what a stupid thing to say.

ask the doctor how they would pick up a piece of screwed up paper. Ohhh sometimes these people get right up my nose. getting parents worried cos their children wont perform like lab animals.

dont worry Reece trust your own instinct about your DS

[Reece]

Thanks Beansprout. She was anal about the entire check up as also said he should be walking by now. I get so annoyed. He is my 2nd child so I'm more relaxed than the 1st but it still irritates me.

[CADS]

We had this sort of problem when we saw a speech therapist because ds's speech is delayed.

She said to him "give me the cup"

He looked at her, then me, then went and gave it to my dd.

She said his understanding was delayed too, which I believed until I got home and he was looking for his blankie.

I told him "blankie is upstair in your bed" and off he went and got it.

Now, if he understand that, how can he not understand a "give me xx" which is something we all say often to our los.

He just refused to play along with her and has landed up make her look a fool.

[PrettyCandles]

That doctor was being extremely unimaginative. For my children's checks my HV simply laid out toys and watched them at play. Then she ticked off boxes as she saw the child perform the activity. Sometimes, like for the hearing test, she would join in the playing to encourage the child to the activity she wanted to observe. We all enjoyed the experience, and it was obviously an accurate and genuine assessment of the child's abilities.

[ChocFudgeCake]

Please! Don't let this GP give you grieve. If you can see that your child is doing well, take it easy.
I have not been in a while to the baby clinic to measure and weight my DSs, but they look quite well to me (and to everyone who knows them). I don't fret much. I used to be there every week with DS1. When he was 3 months the HV told me that he was too heavy, I didn't like the way she said it, when I asked what I should do about it, she said "nothing". So, then there was no need to comment .
Also, when I moved to a new area (we were staying with friends while the house was refurbished)and went to the baby clinic, my HV asked about the kind of property we were renting (like it was part of the things she is supposed to ask to new parents in the area), she asummed that we had a flat with just 1 bedroom, when I said 3 she was quite surprised.

A mum in the waiting area asked me whether I was giving water to my baby, because the GP said that if you give them water, they will talk earlier! Funny people

[Reece]

Thanks SA2. Wish I'd had the nerve to say "shove the paper where the sun don't shine"!!

Thanks everyone for your comments. HV's really do plant seeds in your mind that you had no worries about before. I will follow my own instinct.

[Seona1973]

sounds like the hv assistant who did my sisters little boy's pre nursery assessment. When he refused to 'perform' by drawing a picture or talk about pictures in a book, she asked my sister if he had any other 'behavioural problems' - cheeky bitch!!

Her normal visitor ended up coming out to do a home visit and as he was in his own environment and was more relaxed he was more co-operative and passed his assessment fine.

He is never good in situations with new people and is very shy - to call it a behavioural problem is shocking.

[Reece]

Isn't it amazing that these people have been trained and in my opinion, still get it wrong!

They all seem to be wanting to find problems in kids. It's so bloddy unfair.

[Reece]

I meant to say bloody. Stressful night getting kids to bed...

[Harold]

They did this to my ds at his 7 month check and funnily enough he couldn't do it either since he was too busy looking at her face.

[Harold]

also they expected him to pick up 1 tiny piece of paper actually it was his 6 month check cause he's 7 months now!! Bloody ridiculous.

[WellKnownMemorablePeachyClair]

Well if your GP has managed to devise an IQ test that works he deserves a medal - nobody else has after all, we spent ages doing this in sych class at uni!

he's talking crap, frankly. this is not a measure of IQ, ability or anything else, except whether he was willing to use a pincer grip at that mo. Ignore the prat.

[Reece]

Thank everyone. You have all been great.
I know that you have to take everything they say with a hue pinch of salt. Why bother having the tests? Get em weighed once in a while and visit GP/HV when have own concerns?

[riab]

wow! we hadn't anything like that!

If he does it at home then don't worry, my son can stack his lighthouse stacker up beautifully - woudl he do it for the HV? not a chance, he was too busy watching the new person in his living room!

[morningpaper]

hehe I like the Red Book page on this:

"Can you child use the pincer grip e.g. to pick up peas? YES or NO.
WARNING IF YOUR CHILD CAN DO THIS HE CAN CHOKE ON SMALL OBJECTS! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNATTENDED!"

I mean CALM DOWN fgs

[PrettyCandles]

It's such rubbish - a child can pick up and choke on small objects before they master the pincer grip in any case!

[morningpaper]

well indeed

only yesterday I found my 8 month old with three Polly Pockets in her mouth

[Greensleeves]

My advice:

Chuck the red book in the bin.
Sod the health visitor - they're a waste of time.
If you have any medical concerns about your child, take him to the GP or to A&E.
Otherwise, steer well clear of the developmental surveillance. It serves no purpose, other than to keep a lot of nosey, badly-trained people in jobs (and waste a shocking amount of paper).

I don't go near any of them now and only go to the doctor if it's a genuine medical emergency.

[morningpaper]

oh I totally agree

I only go near medical people with my babies if they have Smarties stuck up their noses etc.

[PrettyCandles]

Oh! I miss-read that - I understood you to mean that you would only take your babies near people who already had Smarties stuck up their noses!

[morningpaper]

I avoid that too

[Greensleeves]

I had a Health Visitor come to the house once (uninvited, natch) who sounded as though she had Smarties stuck up her nose

[PrettyCandles]

Well, it has its own logic - after all, a doctor who has already had a Smartie stuck up his nose might be more sympathetic to the problems of your average Smartie-shoving toddler.