8 week old baby cries all the time!

(20 Posts)
MimiC71 Sat 26-Oct-13 22:36:10

Hello
I have an 8 week old little boy who was born by Caesarean section. He weighed 4.5kg so was a bit of a difficult delivery. Ever since birth he has been a prolific cryer. He rarely sleeps & is described as "colicky" & refluxy! I am at the end of my tether. My son is SO upset all the time. He's on omeprazole for reflux, I've excluded dairy & soya from my diet ( is exclusive breast fed )in fact I'm pretty much trying everything to help him. He won't sleep, doesn't settle except on the breast but even then gets fussy & upset after a while. Nothing helps!! But he will sleep for spells in bed with me at night????!!! I feed him lying down & he then sleeps beside me. But will get grumpy come 5:6 am & then is miserable ALL DAY!! He feeds very regularly,in fact he's on & off the breast all day. Not sure if sometimes it's just comfort or if he just feeds a lot! He is putting on weight, has very wet nappies & pop is mustard yellow!! But is unhappy & screams most of the day!! I read that some mothers with similar babies have had immediate success after taking the baby for chiropractic treatment. Has anyone had experience of this? Did it help? Is it safe? Any other ideas? Is it something you would think may help my son? I am a registered nurse so I have exhausted all other things I know of!!!! I'm getting so exhausted & upset for my darling boy. Any help would be fantastic!! I just want my baby to be happy & to enjoy being with him!!
sad

ThisIsMummyPig Sun 27-Oct-13 00:44:14

My DD1 was similar, but not so extreme. To be honest she only cheered up when she went on to solids (which a consultant paediatrician told me to do a 4.5 months). If was like a little miracle to see her calm down.

I know that's not a lot of help. I have one friend who did the chiropractic treatment for her son, and she reported that it made no difference.

StickChildrenTwo Sun 27-Oct-13 06:52:37

Both my babies were similar sad . We did everything, went dairy free, got referred to a paediatrician, reflux medication. Out of desperation we tried cranial osteopathy after having it recommended on here. Sadly, it made no difference to either of mine. It's horrible but it sounds like you are doing everything right. Be sure to take care of yourself. It used to drive me insane and I felt so depressed and robbed of the experience that everyone else seemed to be enjoying. For us it was hell on earth going through the baby stage both times. It will end though. It does get better and both our boys outgrew the constant crying as they got older and less frustrated and overtired.

CalmaLlamaDown Sun 27-Oct-13 07:10:23

Sounds so so similar to my experience, big baby, c-section, breast feeding for hours and hours at a time, screaming blue murder whe off the boob. Ended up co-sleeping side by side and feeding him to sleep ie all the things you are not supposed to do. Health visitor said worst she had ever seen (helpful!). Nothing made any difference, he just grew out if it at 5 months but by then I was convinced we had ruined our lives by having a baby! I will say though that from 6 months he was super smiley contented and altogether gorgeous and now at 6 yrs he's a delight so it will get better i promise (just feels like it will never end at the moment I know)

Hi Mimi, we had 3 of these colicky babies, our son worse than the girls.
I kept them in my bed at night, took the side of the cot off and tied the cot to our bed for a baby bay, got them used to dummies as I couldn't constantly have a baby on my boobs, especially with no 2 and 3, carried them a lot (and got my dh to carry them as they were huge babies), and just tried to get out of the house as often as possible.

Two of the 3 stopped being colicky at 12/13 weeks, my son stopped the constant crying at 14 weeks but kept throwing up after every meal until he was walking.
It was hard. It made me hate the tiny baby phase. But not enough to have just one wink
Look after yourself. Constantly crying babies are nerve wracking. Make sure you get time on your own while your baby is looked after by someone else occasionally.

georgie22 Sun 27-Oct-13 07:36:40

Mimi, I feel your pain. Our ds is also 8 weeks and has episodes of being very miserable due to silent reflux. I'm also a RN so have been thinking constantly about the situation and how it might be improved. He is on domperidone which has possibly helped slightly. Luckily he does have times when he looks contented and manages to sleep fairly well, albeit lying on my chest which concerns me.

He had his tongue tie snipped last week to exclude this as an exacerbating factor to his reflux and we've also started some cranial osteopathy. Ds is my second baby and it's very different to first time round with dd. She had settled into a routine of sorts by this time, after some early problems with colic, and slept in her Moses basket, crib etc. with no problems. I had a really hard time trying to bf her so she was on formula but was still more contented. I keep thinking that I'm doing everything right by breastfeeding etc. and that it's unfair that this is the situation we find ourselves in. I hate having to watch ds looking uncomfortable and have cried for hours this week. I do worry that I'm heading down the PND route but am very aware of this and admitting to people how I'm feeling.

MN is a great source of support and it helps to hear that there is an end point, but I completely understand you feeling that you've been cheated with these early weeks / months. Luckily being a parent is a lifetime commitment and we have so much fun and pleasure from our 3 yr old dd (with some stroppiness and attitude thrown in) so I know things will improve. Sending you best wishes and strength.

curiousgeorgie Sun 27-Oct-13 10:17:54

This sounds like my DD2...

She's 4 months now and never stopped crying, I could never put her down, it was absolutely ruining my life and especially my DD1's life..

I asked for advice on here, took her to the doctor many times.

She had infacol, gripe water, different formulas, different bottles.

We bought a swing, a mamaroo, different play nests, different bouncy chairs, dream Sheep, white noise machine, star projector.... Nothing worked.

She was the prescribed gaviscon, then ranitidine, and now dairy free formula.

We took her to cranial osteopathy, baby massage and several baby classes.

She might be a little bit better, it's hard to say, she still cries a lot but she also has new periods of happiness that weren't there before. She is much more smiley, but it could be her age rather than anything we are doing. Getting into a routine has undoubtedly helped.

But she is definitely a 'bad baby'. I'm just trying to live by the thought that she will grow out of this, and that sometimes I can hand her off to my DH or my mum and escape for a bit.

Don't they say on here, this too shall pass? wink

MimiC71 Sun 27-Oct-13 13:30:43

Thank you EVERYONE who replied to my post!! It really truly helps to hear your experiences & to know I'm not alone!! I feel like I'm in a living nightmare! Hubby doesn't really help as he's not very patient at times & expects me to have the answers as I'm a nurse!! He gets frustrated too so we end up falling out! I know he doesn't mean to but he can inadvertently make me feel useless!! It's going to be a bumpy journey for us new parents, but the support from your comments on MN actually comforts me a great deal! I think I'll give the chiro or cranio osteopath a miss after hearing your thoughts. I was dubious anyway. Instead I shall persevere, now I'm in the knowledge that there is light at the end of the tunnel! My thoughts are with anyone who is going through the same thing. May our traumas be short lived !& I think we should all give ourselves a good pat on the back for being fantastic, caring Mommies!!! smile[hug]

StickChildrenTwo Sun 27-Oct-13 15:54:30

Please do keep a check of how you are feeling. As mum's we tend to keep going and keep going because that's 'our job'. Never underestimate the toll a constantly crying baby can take on you and your emotions. Take time away as and when you need it. It's so hard. I can remember the few occasions I did accept help and get away from them I didn't want to come home sad but when I did inevitably come back to the screaming, I did have a little more patience and hope. It's easy to think that your life is ruined and I used to think this is how it will always be because I'd lost all sense of perspective. I'm here as a survivor that it WON'T last forever and it really will stop....one day! Just take each day as it comes. For us DS1 grew out of it extremely slowly, so slowly I barely noticed that his crying had gradually reduced until he was an easy peasy toddler! (Just to give you some hope!) DS2 grew out of it dramatically once he could sit up and play a bit from about 5 months. Either way, it will get better eventually. It's just a case of survival I think.

MimiC71 Sun 27-Oct-13 16:14:04

Georgie22
How did you find your cranio osteopath? Do you think it's helping at all! Sending you a big hug as I totally know how you feel. Xx

MimiC71 Sun 27-Oct-13 16:22:26

Cinnamonporridge, did LO take the dummy ok? I've tried and DS won't have it, I'm going to try a different shape.. Did it affect the BF? smile

cupcake78 Sun 27-Oct-13 16:29:39

Ds was like this op and it was murder! I sympathise.

A few things in hindsight that I've noticed with my dd (2nd baby) who could be like this.

Firstly baby's who cry a lot get tired a lot but don't/can't sleep! This doesn't help, they are shattered all the time because they don't rest.

Ds was a very hungry baby! He was so hungry he wanted milk, milk , milk and that was all. He gulped down air, never settled because he was tired, hungry, full of wind and generally not happy.

Bottles with hungry baby formula and weaning from 4 months helped. He was a frustrated baby, he hated it and was so much better once he was more independent around 6 months.

The more stressed and tired I was the worse he was. I've noticed this with dd as well. I have PND and the days I struggle are the days she starts. If he settles better with others then it fair to assume your stress is making him worse.

Do anything you can to get sleep! Try to stay calm, put your music in or ear plugs it really does help.

georgie22 Sun 27-Oct-13 19:16:40

Mimi - thanks for the virtual hug - sending one straight back! The specialist midwife who snipped dd's tongue tie suggested the cranial osteopath. We've only been once so too early to say. It's a bit strange and there's no documented evidence of any benefit but anecdotally people do report some improved outcomes. To be honest you become desperate for something to help.

Today has been a reasonable day and we've had some smiles and he's slept well (although this has been on someone!). It's so much easier when dh is home as our dd gets some proper attention which eases the guilt on me. I echo the sentiment that we need to be kind to ourselves and that this will pass and life will get easier.

1944girl Sun 27-Oct-13 19:39:54

Hello Mimi.
I can feel for you. Forty one years ago I was going through the same with my DS2, He could scream for England.He was also born by ceasarian after a difficult labour but my DS1 was as well and he was a well behaved baby so I dont think the mode of delivery had anything to do with it.
I did not breast feed, and he was on Cow and Gate milk which he would gulp down as if there was no more coming.Every night I would pace the floor with him trying to get him settled-DH was working away so I was on my own till he was 8 weeks old.My HV was useless.His screaming made me feel guilty about bottle feeding him.
After all this time I can remember it all.
I put him on solids at 12 weeks-this was acceptable then, I am not recommending to you now as I know times have changed.He became more settled then and actually started sleeping all night which was sheer bliss.He improved as he got older, e.g. when he started sitting up and taking notice and had other things to occupy his mind rather than when his next feed was due.He would drop everything when he saw milk though. I even had to hide milk bottles behind my back because if he caught sight of one there would be no peace until he had a drink.
It is a difficult period, but as others say it does pass.Some babies are more settled than others.Both of my two sons are as unalike as chalk and cheese.
He is a father of five now and still making his presence known.
Thinking of you and your baby.

Mumtoason Mon 28-Oct-13 08:07:44

Oh my! We have the same child and husband, just 11 weeks apart! Lol! grin

Firstly, hugs to you and LO. It's tough for new babies and Mummies!

The good news is it does get better. My little one is 19 weeks and is a different little boy since 'growing out' of colic - which by the way I didn't 'believe in' until he grew out of it! I thought he was just a high need, demanding baby - he isn't.

I cannot overemphasise enough the value of a baby sling on my sanity during the 8-14 week period! It was an absolute God send! I borrowed one from a lady at mother and baby group out of desperation (I wasn't going to be one of those sling wearing hippys!) and bought my own within 48 hrs as the effect was so great in my LOs case. It will also help with reflux as he'll be upright. It was a Close Caboo sling. I was able to eat meals, put on make up, watch telly all with a snoozy baby. The effect was almost instant on him.

Co-sleeping is tough due to the worry! My LO would only co sleep on me until about 10 weeks, but is now happily sleeping in his co crib (John Lewis Troll crib) and has been for a couple of months. He will stay in there until I feel brave enough for him to go into own room.

Hang on in there! Drink lots of tea. Go to lots of mother and baby groups or to bf support groups - get out and about.

You're not alone, you're a great Mummy and it will get better soon.

Warning though, you're husband may not mature as quickly as your DC. Just sayin! grin

MimiC71 Mon 28-Oct-13 11:26:40

1944girl,cupcake78 & mumtoason
Thank you for your replies!! I really appreciate them! It's really reassuring that most babies grow out of this horrible situation. And to know that me feeling so down in the dumps is to be expected, I'm trying hard to keep smiling & knowing I have support out there from people who know EXACTLY how I feel!
Mumtoason, I'll look into a sling then. I've a baby Bjorne carrier that he's not that keen on though.. Will the sling hold him differently? I'm worried about buying anything else without advice as unless as I've spent a fortune on stuff already! Haha!!! Everything from Colic relief meds, gripe water, self help books, white noise things, dream sheep, mobile, swaddles!! As I'm sure you're already aware from your own experience, you find yourself buying all sorts of crap in the vain hope something helps!! Even if just a teeny bit!!

Sorry, didn't see your question.
No, it didn't affect breastfeeding at all, bf all of mine (for 12, 6 and 8 months).
I waited with dummy until bf was established, but you're well past this stage.
I know exactly how you feel. It will get better.
I had the Ergo baby carrier (not my puky baby though, he was a nightmare to carry with anything).

cherrylola Mon 28-Oct-13 18:01:55

I really feel for you, my DS was just like this! I was convinced that something I was doing was making him the saddest baby I could ever imagine. A combination of things worked for us...
1) baby wearing. Get a stretchy wrap and try wearing your LO after feeds. This really helped us as DS just wanted to be cuddled constantly! It meant I could have my hands back and he could feel safe and comforted all the time.
2) burp the bugger like mad! I am still surprised how much wind can come out of such a tiny baby, and how upset it can make them. The same goes for farts! Try tummy massage (baby wearing also helps with reflux and colic as the baby is upright not on their back).
3) cranial osteopath. We only did 2 sessions and I think it really helped. The osteo thought DS had hurt his neck during delivery and that the plates in his head hadn't sprung back to where they should be. This helped us be able to put him down much more. Previously he screamed blue murder during nappy changes or if put Moses basket.
4) breast feeding demand and co-sleep. Mastering the art of feeding baby whilst you sleep is a life saver! I did this propped up with pillows for the first 8 weeks (!) then progressed to feeding laying on my side smile

Hope that helps op!

riskit4abiskit Tue 29-Oct-13 19:36:12

I second the close caboo carrier, it's keeping me sane!

Mumtoason Fri 01-Nov-13 23:10:55

Hi, sorry it took me so long to reply. The sling is soft and stretchy, easy to put on, and you can tuck their heads in for sleep times. Have a look on youtube. My bubba loved it, but not the baby bjorn until he could face outward. Look on ebay to see if you can find a cheaper one. Or buy one and then sell it - you'll have no trouble.
Hope all is well for you and your little bubba.

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