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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Cna I just share this with whoever is interested, I cant believe what ive just seen, am sooooo **** off

105 replies

stoppinattwo · 04/07/2006 22:01

Sorry to rant but here goes........

Was putting DD to bed earlier when I heard a van screech to a halt outside. looked out and saw the van and a bike lying on the floor. Ran outside and found a little boy (6) had been knocked off his bike on the main road outside. It didnt look to serious, his leg was quite badly scraped and few bumps and bruises. Carried him to his parent house 4 doors along and there was nobody in.I phoned an ambulance etc the little boy by this time was hysterical.

His mother and father turned up about 10 minutes later, they had both been out (at McDonalds .....please ) both got angry at each other and started to blame each other........... sorry if this is too surreal. poor van driver doesnt know what to do, poor child is still hysterical as he can now see what he has done to himself. These people have three other children who were all in the house alone, all younger than this lad. Ambulance arrives and little boy is taken with mum to the hospital. Notice she is expecting another. I try not to judge, people have problems and people have priorities but I could have been lifting a dead child from off that road and I feel like shaking that mother so hard I just dont know what to do.
The poor van driver was shaking soo hard i didnt know what to say to him for the best. The boy had ridden out of the drive way straight into his path and he had tried to stop.
If i see this boys mother or father its going to be so hard to keep my mouth shut.

Sorry to rant, I just need to calm down a bit

OP posts:

Report

anorak · 04/07/2006 22:07

Sorry, don't want to be judgmental but I would inform social services.

If they don't take the kids away they will educate the parents how to look after them better.

Don't want to not do it and then be lifting that child dead from the road next week/month/year.

LeahE · 04/07/2006 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

moondog · 04/07/2006 22:08

Christ alive.
Ring the police and check it has been reported.

flutterbee · 04/07/2006 22:09

I too would notify SS.

MrsGerrard · 04/07/2006 22:10

I would report them straight away. Anything could have happened with the younger ones in the house and obviously this poor boy

Who on earth lets a 6 year old out to play ffs, let alone leave children at home alone.

Don't get me started about dogs needing licences

stoppinattwo · 04/07/2006 22:12

I will go to the police station tomorrow and tell them all i know, I only heard the van stopping and the bang and ran straight out from then on I was there till he went in the ambulance. I have my two DC's in bed so couldnt go now. The police are at the house now but there is nobody about.
You are right about SS may well speak to them too

OP posts:

waterfalls · 04/07/2006 22:19

I will never understand how anybody could leave thier children home alone, I panick if mine are in a different room.

mummyto2littleprincess · 04/07/2006 22:58

sorry but i would of said something or found it very hard not to
what the hell are they doing leaving a little 6yr old on his own and there younger children
i would ring social services they dont deserve these children if that how there going to treat them

Reece · 04/07/2006 23:17

People that aren't prepared to be responsible and loving parents should never have kids! It's so so wrong and really worrying for all of the kids in that family for the future.

Look what could have happened all for a McDonalds. It's disgusting. I would definatley report to police and SS 1st thing.

poodles · 04/07/2006 23:24

I live in a cul de sac and my dd has just started "playing out" with the kids outside, she is nearly 2 and obviously I am out there with her. The other kids range from 3 to 6 playing alone every day and even knock for her at 9 oclock at night. I am amazed and shocked because cars are always veering round the corner. I can't even chat to the other parents cos I haven't met them yet!!!

stitch · 04/07/2006 23:30

i wouldnt report to the police.
but i would turn up more often just to check on the family. do the whhole friendly neighbour thing.
children under the age of five are community responsibility. so if they are being left alone at home, then it is something everyone needs to try and sort out, not judge.
as for ss, if this child is taken to a&e then the health visitor will be informed, and there will be a follow up. but its not just up to them to ensure this family gets the support they need.

stitch · 04/07/2006 23:30

what part of the country are you in? places like surestart may be able to help

julienetmum · 04/07/2006 23:47

Sorry stitch but that is a load of cobblers. Children under 5 are the responsibility of their parent or legal guardian. It is the responsibility of the community to report neglect so that the child is not in danger.

mykidsmum · 04/07/2006 23:52

I'm with you julienetmum, I'm sorry but i reserve the right to judge anyone who does this for a burger ffs.

handlemecarefully · 04/07/2006 23:58

I'm right there judging too!

VeniVidisco · 05/07/2006 00:19

I would imagine, since its the law to notify police when a person is injured in an RTA, that the hospital/paramedics notified the police.

Im sure they will take it up.

How frightening for all of you.

milward · 05/07/2006 00:41

Please follow it through with the authorities - let social services know. Why were kids alone in the house & this littleone on a bike in the street.

jamese · 05/07/2006 08:19

The police may not know that the children were alone in the house as I don't suppose that parents will mention it!!!

Definately worth a phone call or trip to the police station to make sure they know. Then they can get SS involved.

stoppinattwo · 05/07/2006 17:40

Thanks all for your comments, i have phoned SS Direct and told them all that i know, they are going to pay the family a visit. This family i have found out has history with SS so i felt that calling them was even more justified as this incident wasnt a one off!!

Dont know how the little boy is yet but will let you all know when i find out. Still havent seen the mother yet. Need to keep my cool with her, I so want to take her head off at the moment

OP posts:

stitch · 05/07/2006 17:58

well, i still think it is community responsibility to car e for under fives. and if my next door neighbouris for whatever reason leaving her underfive year old alone at home, then i have some responsibility there.
its easy to judge and point the finger, a hell of a lot harder to help out.
andif the family has a history with social services, then all the more reason to be a good neighbour.

stitch · 05/07/2006 18:00

yelling at her and being angry at her wont help the child any. she obviously isnt coping too well with being a parent. will knowing that everyone is judging her and finding her lacking be of any benefit to the kids?

foxinsocks · 05/07/2006 18:02

will not telling anyone and letting the kid get knocked down by a van be of any benefit to the kid?

I know social services get a bad rap but this is EXACTLY the sort of situation they should be involved in.

Stopinattwo doesn't know the family situation - you cannot go into that sort of situation not knowing what you are dealing with - best left to the professionals.

stitch · 05/07/2006 18:17

fox, thats exaclty the attitude i think is the problem. it shouldnt be left to the professionals. they have a very important role to play, but they are not the only people with a role to play. thats what community is all about. and if she doesnt know the family, then maybe its time she did?

a few years ago, i was ill. had a high temperature, 41 degrees in the middle of the night. dh, git that he is, still went off to work, leaving me to care for a two and a half year old, and a ten month old, whilst six year old went to school, taken by neighbours. i could not physically care for them. twice during the day i gave them both bottles of milk, and changed their nappies. otherwise, the 2.5 year old was caring for the ten month old. when ds1 came home, dropped off by the same neighbour, he gave the babies some crisps and stuff to eat. all day long i made several phone calls to dh at work asking him to tell his mom to come care for the babies. but the excuse was that his younger brother was still asleep so she couldnt come, (why coulnt she geto n a bus, or take a taxi?) at half five in the eveing, when all four of us were in tears, i had a 39.5 degree temperature, i asked ds1 to cross over the road and ask a neighbour i barely new to come and look after us.

God bless her, she did. she fed and cleaned us all up. she didnt report us to social services. she didnt call the police. i spoke to the hv the next day, and was referred to a support group for families with children undder five. until she moved away, she always checked on us every so often.
judging is easy. yes i have a workaholic of a dh, a git of a mil, and lets not even mention the other inlaws.
do you see where i am coming from?

foxinsocks · 05/07/2006 18:23

yes but you asked for help and didn't put your kids in danger (and I hope you gave your dh a kick up the backside!)

for all we know, they could both have mental health issues and if the professionals don't find out that they can't cope, they won't get the help they need (iyswim)

stitch · 05/07/2006 18:30

but i didnt ask for help soon enough, and was very lucky that nothing happend to the babies. i was completly out of it that day. asleep uupstairs in mybed. they might as well have been alone for all the good i was.
i didnt give dh a kick as did no good. (but my marital issues are huge thread on its own)
i dont think this is at all differnt to what happened with me. all day long i didnt ask for help coz didnt want to be seen as not beign able to cope, as did dh. i am not joking when i say that we were all crying.

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