Hi there, I'm posting because I feel terrible :-(
I shouted at my 12 month old dd and I'm so ashamed :-(
Lately I've been finding things extremely hard to cope with. The last few weeks I've felt on the edge of a breakdown. Dd doesn't seem to want to play with toys, just wants to climb etc, so I've created a safe environment in our dining room/playroom for that, and she seems happy. I've had OCD for years and find it very hard with OCD and dd and juggling both. I always do my OCD cleaning etc when she is asleep, so she's never deprived of time with me, but I think it's taking its toll on me. I'm too nervous to go to mum groups, don't have any friends, but this has never bothered me because I'm so busy with dd, playing, OCD etc. she's a wonderful girl, and I love her so much, she makes me melt, but yet I still feel like, although I do everything a mother should, that I'm not a very good one, and it doesn't come naturally.
I was at a point thought I had everything down to a fine art- baby, housework etc- the perfect balance.
Today, and for the last week she's been constantly crying, and I comfort her and try to distract her with toys etc. my husband works a very full week, so I spend the whole week dealing with things single handed, today it really got to me & nothing worked & I shouted out 'whaaat' really loud in her direction. I feel terrible
I just feel frustrated, trapped, lost, unconfident, down.
I've been given three different types of anti depressants, all of which the side effects were terrible, I've spoken to my Hv and nothing has come of it.
It just feels like no matter how hard I scream at anybody that I just can't cope, not a soul listens- all I get is ' you're doing just great' 'there there' and left to get on with it again.
I can't type anymore- any advice for a very ashamed and overwhelmed mum?
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Behaviour/development
Just shouted at my 12mo for the first time- feel terrible
34 replies
mummy2lola · 30/09/2013 15:31
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