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Behaviour/development

Is 6 months a difficult phase? I feel like I can barely cope

35 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 20/09/2013 21:08

DD is 6m 1 week.

She is having a terrible phase.

Teething is reaching absurd levels, she is in discomfort most of the time, I think, but no teeth yet.

She has been ill with a cold.

But these things aside, she is just so difficult about everything!!! Whine/grizzles ALL the time - putting her into her pushchair, putting her into her high chair, changing her nappy, changing her clothes...

I think she wants to do more than she is able? Does that make sense? She wants to feed herself, for sure, as she is refusing the spoon etc from me. But she is too little to get anything at all substantial in her mouth, which makes her hungry, which makes her grizzle more...

She wants to crawl, but can't, so gets frustrated.

She gets quite easily bored, I think, I am run ragged trying to entertain her but obviously basic housework etc needs to be done, I can't just entertain her 24/7

Thanks God she isn't a dreadful sleeper.

Is this normal or not? I worry because I have VERY spirited (aka out of control) nieces and nephews and I don't think I could cope if she was just one of those children who never do anything willingly. At the mo I feel like everything is a bit of a battle, that she is unhappy no matter what I do.

Of course then I get a wonderful smile out of the blue and it all seems fabulous again... until the next problem!

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AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 20/09/2013 21:23

Totally normal I reckon. Smile

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stargirl1701 · 20/09/2013 21:24

Do you have the Wonder Weeks book? I can highly recommend it. It explains all the crazy stages.

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emeraldgirl1 · 20/09/2013 21:39

Star girl I have the app... It's a bit useless but I have heard the book is better?

Gunpowder, really? I would feel less helpless if I knew it was just normal! And that other people go through it too. Everyone else I know seems to have chilled out 6m olds who cause no stress!!

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stargirl1701 · 20/09/2013 22:37

Do you have a treasure basket? I resorted to having one in virtually every room until DD started crawling.

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mrscog · 20/09/2013 22:57

Normal. But different babies will go through it at different stages. For my DS it was 9-10 months. Dec 12 was a write off, he was miserable every day for no reason for weeks, it ruined all my romantised '1st Christmas' ideas and made me desparate to get back to work! In a few weeks you'll forget the awfulness and she'll be back to normal :)

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emeraldgirl1 · 21/09/2013 02:06

Star girl, treasure basket sounds intriguing... Can I ask what it is?

Mrscog, sorry to hear about your ruined Xmas!! But glad it's a normal phase...

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JollySleepyGiant · 21/09/2013 02:26

A treasure basket is a box containing items that are not plastic. Ours had things like: a pine cone, a bobbin, a wooden spoon, a small spanner, a baby shoe, a silk scarf, a pastry brush. You let baby explore the box themselves and let them use their mouths to explore the textures if they want.

Is she getting enough sleep? If you put her down for naps /bed at the first sign of tiredness she may sleep better.

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JollySleepyGiant · 21/09/2013 02:30

Ideal sleep is somewhere in the region of 14-18 hours sleep. So two 2 hour naps and 10-12 hours at night.

But every baby is different!

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humblebumble · 21/09/2013 02:36

I hope it gets easier for you. You will look back on your comments about your "out of control" nieces and nephews and realise that you have one of those children that don't do anything willingly and also realise that "it is just a phase". A lot is age related.

Give yourself a break, you said she has been ill and by the sounds of it she is teething too. Have you tried teething granules? It really does get easier but when you are in the middle of it, it is exhausting.

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ThisIsYourSong · 21/09/2013 03:02

Can you try baby led weaning, she might enjoy that. Maybe before the bath with something like yoghurt.

Do you go out to playgroups, music, Gymboree etc? That would probably be useful for both you and her.

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BrianButterfield · 21/09/2013 06:15

Normal - 6 months was worse than the newborn stage for me. They realise there's so much they can't do, I think, and get really frustrated! Once they can move around and communicate moire it gets better.

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BrianButterfield · 21/09/2013 06:16

Also - if you can lay hands on a Jumperoo they are brilliant at this stage.

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oohdaddypig · 21/09/2013 06:21

I think it depends on the baby when they become more "difficult".

And they all do, in my experience, just at different ages.

Sounds like your DD is utterly fed up being full of the cold, not being able to get around and sore gums.

Sounds trite but those squishy plastic things that chill in the fridge - have you always got then on hand? Also is she hungry eg needing way more solids? I know lots do BLW but my babies needed solids and purées as they were hungry. Lots of mums will soon say that they only a few solids at this stage and milk is the main food but my monkeys were starving at this stage.

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oohdaddypig · 21/09/2013 06:26

Also I know it's hard when others kids are chilled but that will soon change Grin

My relaxed little angelic dream boat baby waited until 18 months to show me she was actually a monster screaming tantrumy dervish. . At 6-12-15 months she was one of those chilled babies....

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pebblepots · 21/09/2013 06:27

Yeah normal, also milk is still her main food until she is a year old, so don't be relying on solids to fill her up. She is just learning about food and feeding herself before that.

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minipie · 21/09/2013 09:01

DD was massively grumpy for about 3 weeks leading up to when she turned 6 months. it was i think developmental angst (she was learning to sit up) combined with first teeth appearing. Then suddenly it all stopped once she could sit and the teeth came through, thank GOD. it was so wearing!

she's doing it again a bit at the moment (learning to crawl and cruise, another tooth, and she's got a never ending cold as well) but not as bad as the 6 month grumps.

Try getting out of the house as much as you can - I found distraction was the best at de grumping DD. also, give her a toy to hold while you change her nappy; give her some finger food to play with while you feed her; or get a high chair toy (eg the Sassy fascination station was a lifesaver for me!) etc. Can you borrow a Jumperoo or similar from anyone? we had one and I would put dd in it when I really needed to get something done - it was great.

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Picklesauage · 21/09/2013 09:03

My DD struggled all through her 6th month with teething. I cannot speak highly enough of nurofen. It saved our sanity.

I went to my GP about the teething issue. He said it was ok to give calpol or nurofen everyday for a month. He said make then comfortable, it is specially designed for babies and in fact the dosage on bottle is slightly low on purpose.

I sympathise, good luck.

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Mumof3xx · 21/09/2013 09:05

I was also going to suggest wonder weeks as six months is around the time of the fifth leap
My dd has entered this leap about a week ago

She is grumpy, waking more in the early hours also full of a cold and a cough

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stargirl1701 · 21/09/2013 09:17

It's really simple. Just a basket filled with stuff. I had themed baskets (sorry, I'm a teacher Grin). Like:

Colour based - red, blue, yellow, etc.
Shapes - spheres/circles, cubes/squares, etc.
Materials - wood, plastic, metal, etc.

If you are on Pinterest there are lots if inspiring ideas. I changed one item in each basket every day to keep her interest. She would sit for 20-30 minutes 'playing' at 6 months - totally absorbed in the basket. Tbh, the basket itself held her interest for a couple of weeks!

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emeraldgirl1 · 21/09/2013 16:53

Treasure basket is a fantastic idea!! God, you MN lot, how do you all know these things?! I am a creative person but that kindof thing never occurred to me. Will assemble a couple tonight.

I think she is hungry tbf, she is off her food with the cold/throat and teething and also just desperate to feed herself stuff but obv most of it ends up all over the place when she tries.

Glad to hear its normal, I am not the most confident in my parenting skills, I am ok at being fun mummy but struggle when I don't know how to make her happy.

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emeraldgirl1 · 21/09/2013 16:55

Oh, and good advice thank you re getting out, classes etc... I am out with her a LOT at the mo as it makes her much less grumpy. We do one baby class in the week too and we try to meet up with other mums. Trouble is that those things are hard with the cold she has had... Oh and just today she has a new sniffle!!

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emeraldgirl1 · 21/09/2013 16:57

Sorry... Finally... I am hoping things will get better when she can sit up too... Oh, and what I wouldn't give for her to get a blooming tooth or two.

I do feel a bit overwhelmed at times, she is such a wonderful little character but full-on at the best of times. I can't wait for her to be able to express herself verbally as I think that may help too?

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AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 21/09/2013 17:22

I'm with you with the teething.

My daughter is a week away from 6 months old and she's teething terrible. She actually has 5 teeth buds that are going to come through soon, including one at the back which apparently is very rare. Her left top tooth seems to be the closest to coming through and I do feel for her. She is also just getting over a cold and was struggling to sleep during that phase.

She's not too whiny though, but more than she has been previously if you see what I mean. She's the easiest going baby so when she does whine you always think something is proper up but it tends to be her teeth. She teeths on my boobs, on her bottle, on her teethers, on her dummy, on her clothes if she would be allowed to - anything bless her.

She has had calpol/paracetamol most days of the last few weeks, to be honest. We try and limit it to bed time, but a few times had to give a morning dose too, to make her feel less sad.

I am sure it's just a phase as everything is changing for them. They are beginning to learn to sit up by themselves, they are beginning solids, they are starting to sleep through the night (most, not all), they are beginning to understand meaning in voices and they are beginning to become more clingier to Mummy and Daddy. It's perfectly understandable all these things make them a little irritable, as well as the teething of course.

I hope you get a bit of relief soon and your baby too, of course. :)

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giraffeseatpineapples · 21/09/2013 17:35

Sounds like you are going through lots of difficult stages at once which hopefuly means you are getting them all over and done with ahead of schedule! I remeber when my first was about 12 months sitting with him and thinking wow I really enjoyed my day with you today and being stunned!

Repeat the mumsnet chestnut 'this too will pass'.

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AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 21/09/2013 19:01

Yes, yes really think it's definitely normal. Lots of people don't talk about their babies being difficult or not sleeping until a long time afterwards.

Six months is also tricky because you're lead to believe it gets suddenly much easier at that point, when actually they are frustrated that they can't talk/sit up/move AND you are getting to grips with weaning and teething. IMO 8/9 months is much easier. Smile

Sounds like you are doing a great job anyway Emerald.

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