Feel like the worst mum in the world, join my thread if you do too and we'll cheer each other up...

(12 Posts)
TexMex Tue 18-Jun-13 19:50:43

DD is 3.4 and is absolutely pushing all my buttons. I feel like every day is a battle of wills. She has gone from being pretty lovely to pretty shocking, started hitting me in anger etc and deliberately doing what I've asked her not to do.

I have another 10 mo DD and feel guilty that she doesn't get enough attention because I'm always dealing with older DD's demands or tantrums. But then really frustrated that she cries when I have to put her down to deal with DD. Just put them both to bed really grumpily without a story and feel like I've been really horrible. PMT doesn't help either but even so, I think I will need to apologise to them tomorrow. Anger is subsiding now and guilt setting in... Anyone care to join me?!

hufflebottom Tue 18-Jun-13 19:53:03

omg thought it was just my dd.

have a sit down and a wine

AndMiffyWentToSleep Tue 18-Jun-13 19:53:43

Yep I'm the worst mum ever too grin

issynoho Tue 18-Jun-13 19:56:08

<psst! Over here! There are loads of us... >

TexMex Tue 18-Jun-13 19:56:38

Great to know I'm not alone, thank you! Have hit the gin!

Awfulmother Tue 18-Jun-13 19:59:22

Just posted. Have wine. Bloody shopping about to arrive now tho. It never stops.. Grr on serious note...I am really worried I'll lose it big time soon with mine. Anger mgmt tips needed..

weebleswillwobble Tue 18-Jun-13 20:08:18

I'm in. 3.9 year old pushing me to the absolute limits, and the 2.5 year old is finding his feet a bit too (although is much more manageable). I could do with some anger management tips too Awful.

TexMex Tue 18-Jun-13 20:22:55

issy thanks for the invite, I've just headed over to your thread and feel in good company (and having read one of your posts feel very similarly it seems). Will post there in a bit and join you!

weebles and awful I too need some anger management strategies! But I think what is making me angry is actually totally unreasonable at the moment too!

issynoho Tue 18-Jun-13 20:42:03

TexMex They are such a lovely bunch over there, they really are.

Actually, I think anger is quite an appropriate response to those situations. I guess the thing is that it's not good for tinies to have hairdryer-force shouting when they don't understand (I am regularly guilty of this), but I have no clever solutions beyond counting to 10 or walking away or putting them somewhere safe and screaming your head off in the garage.

TexMex Tue 18-Jun-13 20:57:38

Yes, I think I feel guilty for getting angry and frustrated when they're just little people and really just doing what they think is fun or acting on impulse, so there's no reason for it when I yell "why did you just tip your drink over on the table?". I need to start walking away and being calm. Tomorrow is a new day I guess...

Awfulmother Tue 18-Jun-13 21:24:08

See I can contain the anger when it's something like spilages/ general naughtiness - it's the totally unreasonable mind changing that gets me. I lost it other morning making sandwiches for dd packed lunch, all was going well, she was helping, picture of domestic bliss in the morning,.. hmm then she wanted the crusts cut off, fine I did it. Next thing I knew she was wailing "where have my crusts gone".. So I joke this is the type if tantrum she had when she was 2, try to joly her around but on no, she wants them back on. She goes nuts. She throws the sandwich across the kitchen. That's when I started shouting. I mean, what are you meant to do in a situation like that???! Of course, then it degenerated into a massive battle if wills until I shoved her through the door at school. Gggrr!!! Generally we give 1 warning and if behaviour continues we take something off her..doesn't make a difference. Next step is to put her in the hallway until she calms down..this can take up to 40 mins. But within minutes she'll have kicked off on the next thing. It could be anything.just pray she'll be an easy teen... hmm

weebleswillwobble Wed 19-Jun-13 08:08:45

Awful are you me?! I'm more ranty than shouty, but afterwards when I calm down I feel awful that its possible to feel SO angry and hateful towards such a little person.

Tex I completely identify with the cause being the unreasonable behaviour. 'I want it - I don't want it - I want it' ad infinitum! Although DD can be so lovely and funny, her default emotional state at the moment seems to be angry, stroppy and confrontational (and has been for a long time!). I'm so worried that I've caused this with how angry and frustrated get with her.

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