Really struggling with his behaviour at the moment. We went through a difficult stage a few months ago when he was pushing and hitting a lot. I eventually started a reward chart and made a real effort to remain calm etc etc (had been getting very cross which in hindsight wasn't helping the situation). He had been MUCH better!! Only last week dh and I commented how infrequently we were now needing to use time out.
But things have escalated again. He shouts and screams at me and has huge tantrums over minor issues. Has also starting spitting - no idea where he's picked it up from. Yesterday he starting spitting, hitting and screaming because I couldn't make his lunch at exactly that minute - was in the middle of cutting up some veg for tea. I asked him to just wait 5 mins, but ended in a massive meltdown. He's very difficult to manage once we get to this point as he just hits out everytime I go near. I eventually got him on the time out seat where he continued to spit at me, and then got off the chair to come and give me a slap!! Its very hard not to react but I did remain calm, restarted the timer and ignored him, and after about 10 mins he completed his time!
On the weekend he pushed several children in softplay and had timeout. And then hit a child making her cry - at which point we left. He seemed to think it was funny . He hit one of his friends a while back and his mum now seems to be avoiding us .
Today my dad has come to pick him up to take him out for a treat whilst I do some housework. He adores my dad. But he was a bit early and I'd lost track of time so we weren't ready. But instead of just getting dressed he had another strop, said he didn't want to go and had another massive tantrum. My poor dad sat downstairs waiting patiently whilst he screamed at me upstairs. Took me half an hour to get him dressed and he eventually did go out, but I was very close to just cancelling the whole outing! (although by that time I was glad to see the back of him for a bit!!) My dad commented he wouldn't put up with it and would just insist he gets dressed but that's not easy with a big 3 year old - he will just hit and kick me.
Sorry its a long post. Am feeling really fed up with the whole thing. Feels like everyone is watching us and judging my parenting and I really don't know how to improve things. Between episodes he's a lovely cuddly little boy, and there are no issued with his behaviour in nursery. He's worst with me by far. Having problems getting hold of my HV - 3 messages left in last few weeks - so if anyone has any advice or can reassure me this won't last forever I'd be very grateful. I worry that he is going to be the school bully that everyone avoids
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Behaviour/development
3 year olds behaviour is driving me up the wall - what am I doing wrong??
onceipopicantstop · 18/06/2013 11:18
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