Autisic style 'meltdowns' but no other traits, in 8yo DD. Please Help!

(10 Posts)
Sarah1611 Wed 19-Jun-13 09:04:43

Putting myself out on a limb to say definitely not ASD. No Autistic tendencies are in the behaviour you described. If it was on tantrums alone then every child under 3 would be diagnosed :-)

Make sure you are setting clear and firm boundries and remain totally consistant. Children play up massively when they don't know where they stand or what's expected of them, make sure that side is covered. You seem very 'on it' in terms of emotional support for her, just make sure she's not taking advantage of that.

TwinkleToes64 Tue 18-Jun-13 20:34:20

bump

TwinkleToes64 Tue 18-Jun-13 09:09:01

formica5 - She is a happy 'normal' 8 year old. She has a wide circle of friends at school with a few close ones. She is doing well in all her lessons, particularly reading. She has a wide range of interests and hobbies, is confident in new situations, talks openly and articulately.
Her 'less than desirable' behaviour seems to come out of thin air sometimes, the only trigger we have found is being told no. She just shuts down verbally, doesn't make eye contact, shoves past you (deliberately) even when no effort is made to stop her. Then she turns round and 'goes for the kill' she screams, shouts, spits, hits, kicks, bites, nips, throws anything she can get her hands on etc

Eyesunderarock - I don't really know the difference? I just latched onto the total loss of control, not being able to placate her (even if the denied item is given for example) and the disregard for her own and others safety.
We tend to give her space and remove things/people out of her way. We did try to remove her to her room but she's too strong now. We try to lessen any sensory factors (tv/music/talking) and stay within eyeline but not immediate lashing out vicinity!
She seems to run out of energy but she needs to be the one to calm down totally or else it starts up again (if i try to interact for instance) when it's all over she'll carry on as if nothing had happened.
We have tried talking to her and really 'had it out' and explained how hurt etc we are and she used to then become very emotional but we've never had a reason other than she's angry.

Since January i've spoken to her teacher (also the SENCO) at school and she just fobbed me off as no probs there.

Bought and read lots of books/info but all the strategies seem to be for younger kids? Such as distraction, feelings charts, holding her until it's over etc

Approached my early years team (I'm a childminder) under the guise of a mindee but she said their behaviour techniques aren't pitched at school aged children and to speak to the school.

GP was useless! Wouldn't take my concerns seriously, said it's just girls and hormones. Wouldn't look at my diary.

Spoken to a child psychologist who was reluctant to take us on directly and requested we should be referred via school?!

Given her her own mobile phone with family members/friends numbers pre-programmed in an said she can talk to them (pre approved with them) at any time

Given her a 'worry box' to write any issues she might have in. Again, these can be shared with me or others of her choice

Encouraged her to keep a diary of her feelings etc

Re-done her bedroom, bought her a large desk and given her cushions/blankets etc to make a den underneath (which she likes)

Bought boxes for her to keep her toys etc in so it's all accessible but less visually cluttered

Spent lots of quality 1 on 1 time, bought a pass to a local wildlife park at her request so we always have somewhere local to go that's familiar, secure, interesting and allows her to run/exercise.

RippingYarns - I have looked but again it's just the meltdown side of it. Maybe it's 'just' an anger issue?

madhousequeen - No other concerns. We can't pinpoint any specific triggers other than being told no. We have been keeping a diary of her food/sleep/behaviour etc for a few years now but still nothing seems to be obvious.

madhousequeen Mon 17-Jun-13 20:10:54

Asd can present very differently in girls. do you have any other concerns?

what kind of things do trigger her meltdows?

RippingYarns Mon 17-Jun-13 19:38:11

I have a DD with autism, have you researched specifically autism and girls?

Eyesunderarock Mon 17-Jun-13 19:36:05

You posted about this back in January, in SN children. Did you take up any of the numerous suggestions that people made then?

Eyesunderarock Mon 17-Jun-13 19:32:32

What triggers it?
What makes you think it is an autistic meltdown rather than a ferocious tantrum?
What does she do or say during her meltdown?
How do they end, and what do you do whilst she's having one?
What is her behaviour and explanation afterwards like?

formica5 Mon 17-Jun-13 19:16:45

Describe your DD please and her behaviour/interactions etc please.

TwinkleToes64 Mon 17-Jun-13 18:17:29

Autistic even! Argh

TwinkleToes64 Mon 17-Jun-13 18:15:03

As title really sad

She is such a wonderful, talented, caring little girl but bloody hell can she lose it! It's like the terrible 2's just never left and now as she's grows and gets stronger her meltdowns are getting harder to contain.

I've googled till i'm square eyed and she does fit the characteristics of a meltdown rather than tantrums but no other traits of autism etc.

Just after any advice/commiseration/wine that people have to offer!

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