Evening routine with 5yo and baby?

[philbee]

DD2 is 7 wks now and there is still no real routine. She feeds, interacts, naps repeatedly during the day but not at particular times. DH rocks her to sleep each evening in front of the TV so I can get in bed early, which can sometimes take several hours with her drifting off and then waking and screaming. He brings her up about 11 and puts her in the cot beside me and goes to bed in the other room. She usually wakes twice and takes at least an hour to settle the second time as she's wide awake. Won't be put down to sleep at all in the day we have to hold her, just wakes up unless it's in a moving pushchair.

I'd like to start a proper bedtime routine for her, and also get her napping somewhere stationary. I think we might need to wait until about 12 weeks so that DD1 is on school hols and not disturbed by noise. Atm they have a bath together a couple of times a week, after dinner, then DD1 . How do you work your evening routine? And if your younger one gets overtired how do you fit that into the routine? Any tips / websites etc. welcome!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I'd put dc1 to bed then bath and change dc2 later, she liked to cluster feed so there wasn't much point trying to do anything else with her at that age.

Dc2 wasn't very keen on being out down either but would sleep in a sling or on me so I could keep up with dc1 with the sling and both get a nap if dc1 was out.

If she is taking an hour to settle on the second waking, is she crying? Will she settle in bed with you? What time is it?

Have you read the book Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse? Try googling askdrsears 31 ways to get your baby to sleep too

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Have a look at the book Babycalming by Caroline Deacon too, its not precriptive, instead its full of evidence based information and helps you to find a routine that's suits you all

[philbee]

Thank you I had looked at Dr Sears but will check out the other books. No, she doesn't cry in the night usually, just awake! But if I feed and rock her she'll go back down eventually for a shorter time.

How did you nap with your LO in the sling? I sometimes lie on my bed with DD on me asleep but now she starts to get a bit milk crazy in her sleep so I think she might sleep more soundly away from me. I did manage to put her down in the cot for 20 mins yesterday by trying to do the sleep cues (darkened room, rocking etc.) as soon as she seemed tired. I'm hoping eventually that might translate to evening as well.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Sorry, shouldn't post so late. Dd slept in the sling while I sorted out DS. In the day I would just sleep with her in bed sometimes if dc1 was out.

[OddBodd]

My DS1 was 4 when DS2 was born. It was so hectic in the evenings and I was desperate for some kind of routine and sense to it all! For us it kind of just worked itself out at around 16-18 weeks when DS2 stopped cluster feeding and decided he quite liked to be asleep at 7pm instead of fussing and screaming.

I think the key to it is going with the chaos for now. It really won't last long and any attempts to get DS2 into a routine before he was ready failed and just left me feeling exasperated. However, I do think there's nothing wrong with giving them 'sleep cues' from day one. In the evenings we kept the lights low, didn't stimulate him. I just fed and comforted etc but he quickly learned to sleep in the evenings.

He's 17 months now. We all have tea at 5pm ish when DH comes home from work. We then play (DH usually with DS2, me usually with DS1), then we run their bath, DS2 goes for a bath at around 6:30 and is out and dired and taken upstairs for a bottle in his darkened bedroom and asleep by 7.

DS2 goes for a bath at 7ish and is in bed by 7:30.

This kind of evolved on it's own and I'm sure you'll develop your own routine and figure what works for you all soon. Good luck x

[philbee]

Thanks oddbod. I do feel like the evenings are very rushed, but you're right, it will just develop. Were you sitting with DS2 in the room that he sleeps in before you developed your routine? I wonder if the screaming is to do with being overtired and being downstairs in a light room with the TV on. The problem is that if she was up with me chances are it would still take ages to settle her and I wouldn't be able to sleep during that time. But DH now often has to have hours of screaming which is a pretty rubbish evening for him too.