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Behaviour/development

Leaky toddler

4 replies

LizziePizzie · 30/04/2013 14:36

I have posted here as we are well past the potty training (happened a year ago) and this is a developmental thing.

My nearly 3 year old keeps having wet knickers. She just gets too distracted to remember to go to the toilet. Happens mostly when she is engaged in something. She can hold her bladder, as if she does tell me, she can hold till we get to a toilet, but it seems she just 'leaks' sometimes.

I am not sure how to handle it. I initially took the stance of 'Its ok' as I didn't want her to get upset about it. But that didn't improve matters. I then decided I would micromanage her toilet visits, but that just undermines her decision making and she stopped taking herself to the toilet (and is hard work!).

So then I tried the 'you know how to go to the toilet, so why didn't you?' which just makes me feel guilty, and didn't really work!

So now I am trying the "Mummy is not upset you have wet knickers, but that you didn't tell Mummy.", but I think this is a concept she is too young to get!

Any advice?

OP posts:
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flossymuldoon · 30/04/2013 14:54

No advice as we are in exactly the same boat with our DS so i will watching this thread for advice too.

We went on hol for a week and have been back just apver a week and i am sick to the back teeth of rinsing out slightly damp undies. Every single pair he had on on without fail which was about 6 pairs per day.

I made him leave the park on Saturday as we had no dry clothes left and he was really upset so i wondered whether that would make him think, but then on Sunday he peed 2 whole bladders worth over the lounge carpet in the space of an hour.

He says that the little bit just comes out on it's own Hmm

If i ask him if he needs to go he always says no, and if i force him to go try he has a mini tantrum. The only thing that works for me is to suggest we go together and take it in turns to pee but i can't be there all the time. I have decided that when he has wet ones i am going to change them without even mentioning they're wet. Nothing else has worked so it's worth a shot.

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CreatureRetorts · 30/04/2013 19:24

Ultimately does it matter if it's only a tiny patch of wee?

I usually tell ds to do a sneaky wee i.e are there any wees hiding, can you check in a jokey voice. It works - he'll go then without a fuss. That reduces the wet pants incidents. He will also take himself if he needs to.
Is the toilet easily accessible? We keep a potty out so he can get to it quickly and it's always in sight iyswim.

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Hazelsm · 30/04/2013 22:22

My daughter is 7 and still does this. I got so worried I've been to the docs repeatedly and eventually we saw a consultant last month who told me its not uncommon in someone her age.. So I hope that gives you some reassurance as your dd is only little.

They suggested drinking lots in the day to stretch the bladder and getting her to open her legs whilst peeing as it completely empties the bladder.

Its not her fault, its just that she is taking a little longer than others to develop her bladder skills lol. We still have probs but I'm more confident now that she'll grow out of it... Eventually. Think it's just one of those things :(

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EntWife · 30/04/2013 22:54

dd1 is 3 and we have the same problem. she gets so engrossed in what she is doing she cuts it too fine and winds up with damp knickers.

we tried lots of different methods described by the op to largely no effect.

what has worked is expressing our disappointment when she wets and bribing/rewarding her with smarties when she doesn't

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