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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

I am sure potty training threads are tedious but...

12 replies

DuelingFanjo · 24/04/2013 22:13

Just wanted some views on this, and how I can make things less stressful for my DS.

Started potty training him on the advice of the nursery he goes to 4 days a week. In the weeks leading up to it we'd had a potty out and he had a few pees on it and sat on it regularly plus the nursery had been taking him to use the potty during the day and said he was interested and ready.

Last Friday I took the day off and did the whole nappy off, regular trips to the potty thing and at first it went well but as the weekend went on he became les enamoured with the potty and started saying no and getting upset.

When I took him to nursery I explained what had happened but told them I had put pants in his bag and spare trousers and could they see how it goes. Picked him up Monday and Tuesday and both days he had only had one accident and I was able to get him in the car and home with him still dry. As soon as I asked him if he needed the potty when we were home he got all upset again and said no, then later peed on the floor. The only way he will willingly sit on it is if I sit on another one wit him (with my pants off - he knows when I have them on!).

Te nursery tell me not to go back now, that I need to keep on with it as he does get it and is doing really well. They say he's not always keen to sit on the potty he's following what the other kids do and will make his own way to the potty.

So - how do I deal with him and his potty aversion when he is at home? I don't want to (and can't) force him on to the potty but with another weekend coming I am dreading him continuing to pee on the floor.

I am doing all the high praise stuff but he's just really adamant that he won't go on the potty.

Is this just a waiting game? I have tried a child seat on the toilet and he refuses tha too.

He is two and 4 months.

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Runningblue · 24/04/2013 23:40

Have you asked the nursery exactly what they do? If hes there 4 days a week, you might want to mirror exactly what they do?

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Giddygrandma · 24/04/2013 23:54

He's just not ready. Wait until he is don't put yourself or him through this hassle.

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thewarmestowl · 25/04/2013 08:33

I was going to say that the thing that worked for me was to stop reminding / taking and just leave DS1 to ask. He hated being asked to go, but (after a few accidents) was actually very reliable when left to his own devices. However he was almost 3; at 2.4 there I a good chance your DS is not ready. We had a few aborted attempts with DS1, and I'm gently introducing DS2 (2) to a potty, but there is a big difference, I have discovered, between being interested in and capable of using a potty at times as actually being ready to be in pants all day.

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gourd · 25/04/2013 12:13

Maybe he feels pressured but it could just be that he doesnt like the potty you have at home - How big is it/does he look comfy on it? Would he like to use the toilet instead? We have a little seat you stick over the top of the adult one and ours seems to like going to big toilet but wont entertain the idea of the potty at all. She does look like she cant get comfy sitting on it though, so that could be the reason. Of couse this means she cant do it by herself as she needs help to get up to sit on the loo - even with a step she cant actually reach the seat without help.

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gourd · 25/04/2013 12:18

Actually re-reading your post, you know it could just be normal toddler tantrum/pushing boundaries behaviour. He knows you want him to sit on the potty so any presure and it's quite likely he will want to do whatever the opposite is - he might just be being independent! Ours does this all the time in many other situations. If this is all it is, leaving the potty around but not pushing him to use it may mean he just gets on with using it.

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Runningblue · 25/04/2013 16:51

Out of interest, are there any other kids in his room at nursery potty training? It wasn't until quite a few of the other kids started potty training, did my ds think it was the hip and happening thing to do!
I second the less pester, nonchalant approach- ds seemed to get quite peed off (like it?) when he was reminded too often.
But he might just not be ready, you know when he is, because when you do it, it kicks into action quite quickly, we had a couple of false starts then he certainly got the weeing within a week or two, poos took a bit longer.

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DuelingFanjo · 25/04/2013 23:39

Giddy, how will I know he's ready?

Yes, the nursery say they find he is quite independent and likes to do his own thing so rather than put him on the potty they suggest it to him and let him follow the others. This has worked well during nursery time but is not possible at home as there is no one to copy bar me and DH. They potty train by putting the kids straight into pants, no pull-ups. This is something I support.

There are other kids doing it.

He's only been doing it a week so would it be worth waiting another week and then deciding if we carry on?

He does do things like announce 'I'm going to have a poo' and then sits on the potty but nothing happens. Then he proudly points and says 'there it is' while pointing to an empty potty. He also loves his pants and doesn't like it when we put his nappy on for bed.

I think maybe I need to stop fussing over him and let him use the potty when he feels like it,or introduce chocolate buttons and stickers!

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fififrog · 26/04/2013 09:34

He does do things like announce 'I'm going to have a poo' and then sits on the potty but nothing happens. Then he proudly points and says 'there it is' while pointing to an empty potty. He also loves his pants and doesn't like it when we put his nappy on for bed.

My DD is 2 and 1 month and does these exact same things but she is definitely not ready. I think your nursery may be rushing you into it - I see no harm in him copying the other kids and stating in nappies at home for a bit (but what do I know, she's my first!)

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ohnosnow · 26/04/2013 21:36

I used stickers with my ds. he trained a week after his second birthday after he saw my friends little boy in underpants. He took to it really quickly (luck) and has had no wee accidents however for the first 2 weeks he pooed in his pants every afternoon. I encouraged him with loads of praise and stickers and he began pooing on the potty as he really wanted a peppa pig sticker.

Loads of praise, dont stress if he wets and give stickers a try. Good luck

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Giddygrandma · 01/05/2013 21:42

He'll just decide he doesn't like having nappies on and will not like being wet. Boys are much slower than girls and in my humble opinion the average age for boys is 3. Both my son and grandson were the same but my daughter was dry about 2 then a week later dry at night.

My daughter has three friends all boys, who were born within 7 days of each other and I promise you they were all the same time, 3. One still has accidents at 3.5.

Don't push him it's much harder work, much better to wait till the time is right. Hope it helps!

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nailslikeknives · 03/05/2013 21:30

Potty training is reeeaaallly hard work! Just in case it helps, I'll pass on some advice I had from a 'wise woman' (mum of 4).
If you (not the nursery) think he's ready and want to carry on with p/t, it might be worth letting him choose a new potty. He might want to use it more if he sees is as 'his'.

The 'how to tell if your child is ready checklist' sort of thing is already on here somewhere, might be worth doing a general search.

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DuelingFanjo · 03/05/2013 23:01

Thanks for all the replies. We've just completed week two and had a day with no accidents. He is still needing to be asked if he needs a wee but is much happier about beng put on the potty and is holding for fairly long stretches (one and a half to two hours) now. he gets upset if he pees in his pants and asks to go on the potty immediately after but still not really telling me he needs to go. We had one completely dry night with a HUGE pee when he woke up so I am quietly hopeful that he is ok.