Another child bit my child

(146 Posts)
bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 11:48:38

Hard on the finger. It has swollen up and is purple. My ds is 17 months and the offender is 6 months older and is a serial offender... Ds is such a gentle soul. I feel pissed off.... Talk to me please and help me feel better......

bordellosboheme Sat 27-Apr-13 16:14:48

Lumly36, I can stand other opinions when theyre well articulated or reasoned, just not when they're bitchy.

bordellosboheme Sat 27-Apr-13 16:13:11

Thanks lljk, the voice of sanity. Not blaming her parents at all tbh... Just wish they were a bit more proactive with sanctions. So hard though isn't it ds nips me quite often when he feeds, then grins..... And can I get home to stop? Nope! So am not blaming anyone....

Sheshelob Thu 25-Apr-13 22:18:12

Innit, Lumley.

Lumley36 Thu 25-Apr-13 21:23:22

Suggest you (OP) shouldn't post if you can't handle others opinions?

lljkk Thu 25-Apr-13 18:09:04

Human bites that break the skin are pretty serious; we are filthy creatures & our germs are pretty horrendous. I would have seen a doctor too.

Maybe the other parent is a loon but even the best parents can end up with biting toddlers, it's not a sign of permissiveness in itself.

(Heck even adult footballers succumb to the impulse on occasion).

notso Thu 25-Apr-13 15:59:03

My 12 month old DS was bitten today badly.
He is also a gentle soul and it was horrible for him to be so upset and hurt however the biter was his 2.4 year old brother.

Kendodd Thu 25-Apr-13 15:21:58

My middle child used to bite, and my youngest used to hit, thankfully they only ever hit or bit us, hity and bitey, we used to call them. We got a book about biting to read to the middle one, I think it just made biting sound more fun to him.

The eldest never hit or bit although she was bitten twice on the same day, by two different children at playgroup when she was about your sons age. Once on the face and once on the arm and was bruised by both. DH said we should get her a tee-shirt with 'please don't bite me' on it, you could try that?

WadsCollop Thu 25-Apr-13 15:16:44

Oh come on now OP hmm

kerala Thu 25-Apr-13 15:00:27

It is upsetting when your child is bitten it really is. But as the consensus says it is one of those things, one of the first in a long line of things it hard to watch ones children go through. It starts with them being bitten by other babies and just carries on...we are now at the heartbreaking stage of 6 year old girls friendship issues aaaargh. I get the same feeling when DD comes out of school with eyes welling telling me about the latest meanness of one of her "friends" as I did when another toddler bit her on the face in the library aged 18 months - as a parent it doesn't get any easier!

stormedmentor Thu 25-Apr-13 14:51:24

sorry for the double post blush

stormedmentor Thu 25-Apr-13 14:50:28

oops blush
aatami is like that! angry
also lots of biscuits and brew

stormedmentor Thu 25-Apr-13 14:48:51

oops blush
aatami is like that! angry
also lots of biscuits and brew

stormedmentor Thu 25-Apr-13 14:45:56

g

BloooCowWonders Thu 25-Apr-13 14:16:10

The thing I've got for this thread is surprise that the OP didn't have any way of dealing with a minor injury when out and about. Your DC is mobile and will fall over often. Arnica/ antiseptic wipes and plasters don't take up very much space and surely would put your mind at rest they you can cope with small injuries.

Good luck

bordellosboheme Thu 25-Apr-13 13:50:49

Lumley36 sorry to hear what you're going through.... Hope your dc goes through it quickly which im sure they will. Some good advice above and I'm sure on your thread too.

bordellosboheme Thu 25-Apr-13 13:37:01

I won't be toughening up.... Or getting a grip. It would be a sad day if I am unbothered by ds getting hurt... Even if it is an accident, developmental stage,mother feels terrible etc.... Suggest you soften up instead

OBface Thu 25-Apr-13 09:10:44

My DD was bitten at kindergarten by a much older boy. His dm was mortified - I now make a real effort to say hello and be friendly to her as she was obviously uncomfortable about the situation.

My dd isn't a biter but, at 2, is a dreadful sharer and I am embarrassed by this.

All toddlers (well most) have their challenges but it is a massive jump to label a 23 mo as having issues.

Get a grip OP.

Sheshelob Thu 25-Apr-13 07:05:28

Harden up. Really.

My 17 month old got bitten at nursery the other day. I understand about biting and verbal ability, so I wasn't writing to my MP or wanting to speak to anyone's parent. My son was fine, and while it left a mark, I have no concerns about PTSD, MRSA or rabies.

Biting is part of the toddler world, just like falling over and bashing their head and scraping their knees. It isn't nice when it happens but it isn't something that can be wiped out. It is a way of a child saying something without being able to say it in words.

Or, if you are a Daily Failer, it is a sign of broken Britain and we should all do something about it. Maybe start a vigilante Bite Squad, patrolling the streets for toddlers with issues.

Lumley36 Thu 25-Apr-13 06:33:26

I am sorry to hear of your situation and hope the finger is better? I posted the opposite to you yesterday. I'm upset because my son is a biter. It's affecting where I go, who I see, my confidence is rock bottom and he is not getting all the chances to socialise as a result of parents who can't deal with their child being bitten. And it is hard to see. flowers My son has been bitten, scratched,smacked, pushed over the works by other toddlers and the only thing certain parents kick off about is biting because it leaves a mark. I have come to the conclusion that I am acting on his biting, doing all I can to support him and prevent it happening. But he needs to meet children and learn to communicate with them to get over this and we will be going to groups and play dates as normal. so I need to say be a bit more understanding, read up on child development, and chill out, it is much worse for a parent of a biter than the parent of a child who has been bitten once. smile

And I was the biter who drew blood, but only because I was bitten first........

MadameSin Wed 24-Apr-13 16:39:42

Bordell your OP says even more about you .. now I'm off to sit in the garden avec wine

bordellosboheme Tue 23-Apr-13 16:10:25

Kewcomber, I'm not cool either wink

Kewcumber Tue 23-Apr-13 16:06:02

That was me.

I'm definitely not cool.

bordellosboheme Tue 23-Apr-13 15:21:05

Anyway, thank you for those giving genuine advice, personal stories and support, which i appreciate. You know who you are. I particularly like the advice about ignoring a biter and fussing a bitee.....

I even don't mind those telling me to put it in perspective and it could be the other way around.... Etc, I'm not above reassessing my ideas. I reserve the right to feel as I do about the incident, which is not particularly happy.

I don't like the glorification or normalisation of biting tho 'one poster said 'respect' to another who as a kid had made another dc bleed. not cool.

For the bandwagon jumpers who have just come on to be hurtful and critical.... It says a lot about you..

As always a real mixed bag of responses.

Anyway, so it's a lovely sunny day Logging off and going outside......

Thanks guys <waves>winebrew

duchesse Tue 23-Apr-13 15:18:28

My friends with the biters are far from permissive! Doesn't stop their kids biting. Think you have a rose-tinted view of children's behaviour frankly. They all have their moments. Never had a biter myself but I understand how embarrassing it is if your kid is the one at playgroup all other mothers talk about behind your back.

The child involved in 23 months old- a baby. She will almost certainly not be biting in a year's time.

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